Longgg entry
for the past few weeks, i've been at the points where it felt like everything was completely falling apart. i drifted from my friends, my family problems seemed intolerable, and relationship issues hurt a lot. so many pressures were put on me and nothing seemed to go right. tonight i let all of my feelings out to my mom because she has always been there for me, through everything that has ever gone wrong in my life. she would give me anything in the world to make me feel better, even if it meant she was left with nothing. i'm so thankful for everything she does for me, and it breaks my heart to know how ungrateful I am for it sometimes. she reminded me that no matter what i go through, God will always be here for me to run to when things get too crazy. no matter what happens, i have somewhere i can turn. when I thought about it, i just burst into tears. i may not be able to go to church every sunday, but that is still the way I was brought up by my mom, and I will always be close to God. it feels so great to know that no matter what bad things happen in my life, no matter what hardships i face, no matter how many people never fail to dissappoint me, all i have to do is call on God to help make things right again. knowing that, nothing could ever make me too sad to the point where i feel like i can't get up again.
when i was talking to my mom, she told me a story of a about three years ago. she was living alone in a house in simi for a few months because my stepdad had to go to vegas for work. while she was there she was diagnosed with a tumor. i remember it being a really hard time, and i wished every day that there was something i could do. she told me she had no insurance for it, and there was no way for her to pay for the surgery because she was living alone and barely had enough money to support herself. she had days where she just broke down crying because she was lost and didn't know what to do. she told me there was one particular day where she just broke down crying in the shower and prayed to God over and over for help. She got out of the shower and opened up her bible to a random page. it said "Save me O God for the waters have come up to my neck, I sink in the miry depths where there is no foothold. I have come into the deep waters the floods engulf me. I am worn out calling for help." she told me that phrase stuck with her, and for some reason she felt like checking her insurance again. she called her Doctor, and he said her insurance had just been approved.
i know this is a long entry, and i'm sure none of you read all of it, but i feel so renewed right now. i'm so glad to be reminded of how blessed i really am.
Never forget that you have somewhere to turn ♥
when i was talking to my mom, she told me a story of a about three years ago. she was living alone in a house in simi for a few months because my stepdad had to go to vegas for work. while she was there she was diagnosed with a tumor. i remember it being a really hard time, and i wished every day that there was something i could do. she told me she had no insurance for it, and there was no way for her to pay for the surgery because she was living alone and barely had enough money to support herself. she had days where she just broke down crying because she was lost and didn't know what to do. she told me there was one particular day where she just broke down crying in the shower and prayed to God over and over for help. She got out of the shower and opened up her bible to a random page. it said "Save me O God for the waters have come up to my neck, I sink in the miry depths where there is no foothold. I have come into the deep waters the floods engulf me. I am worn out calling for help." she told me that phrase stuck with her, and for some reason she felt like checking her insurance again. she called her Doctor, and he said her insurance had just been approved.
i know this is a long entry, and i'm sure none of you read all of it, but i feel so renewed right now. i'm so glad to be reminded of how blessed i really am.
Never forget that you have somewhere to turn ♥