(no subject)
i had surgery in january to remove a ganglion cyst that sprouted on my wrist. three weeks later, it came back with a vengeance. i still haven't revisited the orthopedic surgeon; i cannot afford it. a cyst cost me 8 days of work and over $1,000 in medical bills WITH INSURANCE. speaking of insurance, the medical field is ridiculous. i personally think that you should get a bill from the hospital, and the hospital should distribute the payments where necessary instead of getting 12 individual bills AFTER you get things from your insurance saying what the hospital may or may not bill you. it is all designed to confuse the hell out of people so that they just write checks. you do not get medical refunds if you pay too much. again, it is all ridiculous. my great grandmother, who has more doctor visits than a younger person, obviously, admittedly has no clue what goes on. "i'm old," she says, "my brain just doesn't get it anymore. send me a bill, i'll pay it. don't send me twelve different ideas on what the hospital might bill me. tell me what my insurance paid, and tell me what i owe. i don't want to deal will all that other shit." for example, i got a bill from anesthesia for $770 with a note at the bottom saying, "INVALID CODE," indicating that my insurance had paid nothing for anesthesia. in the same stack of mail, i had a "THIS IS NOT A BILL" statement from my insurance indicating that i would probably owe $84 to anesthesia out of the $770. someone has screwed up, but, without a doubt, if i had started making payments for the $770, there would be some rule that if i started making payments on the full amount, the full amount is what i owe. "Sorry, we do not issue refunds" or they would make the refund process so convoluted and bureaucratic that it would be next to impossible to get your money back.
a lot of my friends are starting families. this is very strange to me. kristen is married with a son, living in a little house doing yard work with a puppy on the way. robin is engaged to a man she's been with for several years now. bethany has been living with someone for a couple of years and is now expecting. i cannot even begin to wrap my head around starting a family. i am just now beginning to look at children as something other than an annoyance, most of the time, anyway (other than konnor, who i have been in love with from day 1). but i still can absolutely not imagine having a child full-time. i am too selfish and self-serving right now. Twenty-four seems so young, but, then again, maybe it isn't. who am i to say when starting a family is appropriate? maybe it's all a mind-set, and i am too immature. or maybe i just think about insignificant things too much. maybe if i just leaped into things rather than thinking about every minute detail....ew. that thought makes me cringe. never mind.
a lot of my friends are starting families. this is very strange to me. kristen is married with a son, living in a little house doing yard work with a puppy on the way. robin is engaged to a man she's been with for several years now. bethany has been living with someone for a couple of years and is now expecting. i cannot even begin to wrap my head around starting a family. i am just now beginning to look at children as something other than an annoyance, most of the time, anyway (other than konnor, who i have been in love with from day 1). but i still can absolutely not imagine having a child full-time. i am too selfish and self-serving right now. Twenty-four seems so young, but, then again, maybe it isn't. who am i to say when starting a family is appropriate? maybe it's all a mind-set, and i am too immature. or maybe i just think about insignificant things too much. maybe if i just leaped into things rather than thinking about every minute detail....ew. that thought makes me cringe. never mind.