(no subject)

Feb 21, 2004 01:42

At times, I wish that I could just vanish. Completely. Disappear without a trace off the face of this planet. I can't stand to be here, to make people mad, or regret things I do/did.

My biggest fear is having someone mad at me. Even if it's a person I don't necessarily care for, I hate for people to be mad, frustrated, or even disappointed in me. I detest the fact that I don't have the ability to please everyone. I wish with all my heart I did, but I don't. Sometimes I just think it would be easier to lock myself in a room; shut away from the rest of the world. It's amazing how a person can do one wrong thing and their confidence level hit rock bottom, regardless of all the good they do. I know that the good things are supposed to outweigh bad the things, but that is not always true. No matter how much good I do, if one things goes wrong, it eats me alive until I try and make it better. Maybe that's a good thing, maybe that's a bad thing, I don't know. I just know that I think sometimes it really would be easier to be locked away from all human interaction for a while; to vanish completely. And if there was a way to do it at all, I would.
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