hawaii 5-0 fic: happiness like a bullet in the back [steve/danny, nc-17]

[gyzym]

1. HOW IS HE REAL:

Burro: Hey, while I'm home, can you teach me to use the stove?
Me: Oh my god, you want to learn to cook?! Yes, YES, let's pick some of your favorite dishes and I'll show you how to make them--oh my god, what about the beef stew with the bacon and the red wine, you love that--
Burro: Wait, hold up--okay, I don't want to risk

Comments

[cobweb_diamond]

sigh. everey time i have the "you can't boil water??" conversation it gets less hilarious and more SHOCKING. like, HOW CAN YOU NOT BOIL WATERRRRRRRR. and yet. and yet.

[gyzym]

I DON'T UNDERSTAND EITHER. YOU JUST PUT WATER IN A PAN AND LET IT GET HOT UNTIL THERE ARE BUBBLES. IT IS NOT COMPLICATED!!!

[cobweb_diamond]

RECENTLY I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO MY 20 YEAR OLD HOUSEMATE HOW TO COOK BACON. THIS IS ESPECIALLY BAD SINCE I AM VEGETARIAN AND THUS HAVE NEVER COOKED BACON IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

[gyzym]

PUT IT IN A HOT PAN UNTIL IT IS COOKED, OH MY GOD, SDFHDSJFHDSKF ROCKET SCIENCE, THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

[cobweb_diamond]

THE BEST I HEARD WAS FROM A FRIEND OF MINE WHO LIVES WITH A GUY WHO IS ASTONISHINGLY INCOMPETENT. This dude has been living away from home for FOUR YEARS and his mother sent him a recipe for pancakes. Which in itself is impressive because pancakes -- not hard.

basically my friend went into the kitchen to find him... spreading butter on the underside of a frying pan, looking confused. my friend was like, ".....WHAT?" and he was like, "the first instruction in the recipe said to grease the bottom of the pan". OHHHHHHHHH.