What do you want?

[gyrocheater]

I wanna drive, far and fast and then nowhere and slow. I want to be stuck in traffic for hours and feel the emotions flooding in and around me. I want to jump and feel the wind rushing by me, not touching or feeling anything but the sky. I want to kayak down the rapids, my life in the hands of the tumultuous water. I want to lay in the sun all day, my mind as blank as the cloudless sky. I want to run, until I no longer recognize anything around me. I want to take life into my hands, and chose mercy rather than power. I want to feel satisfaction rather than regret. I want everything to stay the same and I want it all to change. I don't want to steer, I don't want to make choices. I want to sleep and never wake up, and I want to live forever. I want to be overcome with sorrow and have the strength to never cry. I want to be flooded with happiness and have the humility to weep. I want to be blind, deaf, mute, or handicapped, so I can truly know what I have to lose. I want to have everything I could ever need, so I can truly know what I have to gain. I want to be aimless. I want to overcome something that's so rare I can feel pride in my accomplishments. I want justice and peace. I want to feel a pain so intense that all I can think about is death. I want to be present for pain, so I know I am alive. I want to be numb. I want to never want. I want to walk away. I want everything to be ok.

~Genny