I am Jane's hungry stomach
i am hungry for life. it is a hunger that can never be cured.
i miss j-unit. i hope his time in colorado has gotten better since his last post. since my last post... me and david are finally a real couple again. we appreciate eachother and are just plain... nice again. for a while there is was becoming a competition to see who could be meaner. i usually won. *shrug* my life is still very shitty. but i dont look at it that way anymore. i havnt thought about my crap-ass life in a while. i tihnk its because i have been so busy. there is no need for a home phone anymore, because i am never home. ever. it's quite nice, actually. yeah, at this very moment, i am content. and although there are so many factors trying to bring me down, i dont think i am going to let them ruin me. i am a stronger person that i once was. yeah, i am a stronger person. see, the way i look at it is:everything happens for a reason. so everything happening now is a lesson for me to learn from. i didnt want to open my eyes before. i was just fine being sad, it was comfortable. i dont care if i have to feel uncomfortable to be happy. it is just necessary for survival. animals DIE from depression all the time. i dont want to die just yet. there is so much left to do. too much. sometimes i think about all of the things i can do with my life and it just blows my mind. then i think about how i am throwing my life away right before my eyes, and i dont give a fuck. everything happens for a reason, right? learn from your mistakes, right?
i'm trying really fucking hard to make sense of the world. and what i have discovered is that the world doesnt make sense. nothing happens for a reason, things just fucking happen, which goes against my whole belief system. maybe its a good to believe, but maybe its better to have an idea. well, i have thousands of those. so in that respect, i am damn good off!
i dont know what else i have to say. except that i love everyone who has taught me anything, because without knowlege, where the fuck would we be? even if the lesson learned is how to steal perscription drugs successfully. =-P
i miss j-unit. i hope his time in colorado has gotten better since his last post. since my last post... me and david are finally a real couple again. we appreciate eachother and are just plain... nice again. for a while there is was becoming a competition to see who could be meaner. i usually won. *shrug* my life is still very shitty. but i dont look at it that way anymore. i havnt thought about my crap-ass life in a while. i tihnk its because i have been so busy. there is no need for a home phone anymore, because i am never home. ever. it's quite nice, actually. yeah, at this very moment, i am content. and although there are so many factors trying to bring me down, i dont think i am going to let them ruin me. i am a stronger person that i once was. yeah, i am a stronger person. see, the way i look at it is:everything happens for a reason. so everything happening now is a lesson for me to learn from. i didnt want to open my eyes before. i was just fine being sad, it was comfortable. i dont care if i have to feel uncomfortable to be happy. it is just necessary for survival. animals DIE from depression all the time. i dont want to die just yet. there is so much left to do. too much. sometimes i think about all of the things i can do with my life and it just blows my mind. then i think about how i am throwing my life away right before my eyes, and i dont give a fuck. everything happens for a reason, right? learn from your mistakes, right?
i'm trying really fucking hard to make sense of the world. and what i have discovered is that the world doesnt make sense. nothing happens for a reason, things just fucking happen, which goes against my whole belief system. maybe its a good to believe, but maybe its better to have an idea. well, i have thousands of those. so in that respect, i am damn good off!
i dont know what else i have to say. except that i love everyone who has taught me anything, because without knowlege, where the fuck would we be? even if the lesson learned is how to steal perscription drugs successfully. =-P