NO LJ CUT...SORRY THIS IS ENLIGHTENMENT AT ITS BEST!
So. I'm reading this book. The Only Dance There Is -- Ram Dass. And I'm feeling myself grow. Funny, because everything Ram Dass has ever written has only been a reinforcer to what I already know within myself. Lau Tzu says in the Tao Te Ching that if one really wants to learn from his teachings, he simply needs to look within himself. Well no
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I've been on and off a low dosage of Prozac twice. Both times it was stopping them purely because I think they were working. To most people that sounded completely odd but I think you'll understand my logic better than them.
It was like I was feeling happy, I wanted to do happy thing and get on with my life. The glass was always half full rather than half empty all the time. For awhile it was really nice but then I started to feel guilty about being happy. How and why should I be happy? My mother is dead. One of the most important people in my life is gone completely and I'm out smiling and being happy.
So I stopped them and for about a month I was okay then I started to fall back into that 'eeyore' state of mind where I can see negatives more clearly to every situation rather than the positives.
Now though that I've got my sister's to take care of I at least owe it them to be as together as I can be so they have the best lives they possible can despite having lost both parents as well.
((( Erin ))) know that was kinda long and rambly but I think it makes some sense.
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