These BMI charts are blown out of the water when you couple in body fat composition tests. When people are tested for their lean body mass meaning what the skin, bones, water and muscle weigh - a person with a lean body mass of 139 is recommended to weight 176.
You asked about me dealing with an eating disorder. I do have one, and I'm not treating it by A. binging or B. starving. I started by meeting with my Primary Care doctor, an Endocrynologist and a Nutritionist. Together we came up with a plan to help me towards a track to eat smarter, healthier and have control over my intake while I work on the emotional aspects of my eating disorder.
I also realize - especially now while I'm going through the emotional roller coaster of my mother dying - that not taking care of myself would be the biggest dishonor I could ever do to my mother. Having a daughter live happily and healthfully is her sincerist wish. I just couldn't imagine her in the hospital and worrying that I was sick and not taking care of myself. It would be so selfish of me. It's a heavy subject on my mind. My mother is hurting enough, how so so selfish it would be of me to disrespect myself and cause her more worry.
Not to mention, and most importantly, it would be the biggest dishonor to myself to not take care of myself. Thank the universe I am a women with full use of all my arms and legs which allows me to move my body. Dammit.. I'm going to use the fuck out of them for the short time on this Earth that I have.
You said that you have fucked up your metabolism so eating such minimal calories is what you're stuck with or you'll get fat and ugly. I'm not buying that. I had to buy that from my 45 year old sister who just had Weight Loss Surgery last month because she says she spent so many years starving herself that anything she did eat made her weight to pass to over 300lbs. No, I'm not buying it from someone who has yet to barely to shadow the threshold of her 20's.
I'd question any nutritionist or doctor that thinks you'd be fit and healthy at 105 lbs and consuming 700 calories of crap.
But then again, this isn't about being fit or healthy for you. It's about self destruction. Once again, I'll say you are bandaging a wound while leaving another one to bleed you anemic.
Don't insult me by saying eating makes you fat and ugly. People aren't ugly because they are fat. People are ugly because of the color of their nature.
Does it look like we're trying to be healthy???? We're trying ot be SKINNY! I hate myself when I gain. I can eat a sandwich and gain 5 Lbs b/c I (yes) I fucked my metabolism as well. I have puked, starved, diet pilled, laxatived my metabolism to nothing. And I feel ugly b/c I'm "normal healthy weight." Does that mean I think all people of bigger sizes are ugly????? FUCK NO! It's me I have issues w/ not other people. So, she's not insulting you by having issues w/ herself. Now if you'll excuse me, my laxative has kicked in and I have to take a stacker. Have a lovely day. P.S. I would love Erin if her BMI was 95.9! I only want to see her happy and totally impathize w/ her feelings. P.S.S. I'm ugly when I'm fat.
empathy/sympathy depends how my day goeslatitude11October 14 2003, 10:44:55 UTC
doesn't matter how thin she gets she won't be happy it just doesn't work like that and yeah it will make you high when you get on the scales and you've lost a pound but thats only temporary and it will hurt like hell when the next 10 times you get on the scales that day or hour you weigh the same. you have to obsess about something positive cause it NEVER goes away no matter what anyone says, forcefeeds, locks you up cause its always inside you and they can't get at that only you can, the only way either of you will ever be happy is if you can love something more than you hate yourself and no amount of counselling or starvation can do that for you.
Re: empathy/sympathy depends how my day goesgypsygirlOctober 14 2003, 18:04:09 UTC
the only way either of you will ever be happy is if you can love something more than you hate yourself and no amount of counselling or starvation can do that for you.
You are so very right. And I know this. I don't know if its about not loving anything more than my hate....because I love so much....but I guess I've never thought about whether my hate still overshadows it all....I dunno.
Re: empathy/sympathy depends how my day goeslatitude11October 15 2003, 07:15:09 UTC
I don't mean that you don't love anything, in fact self-hatred is the cunning twin of frustrated passions and dreams. But thats a love which is filled with optimism and perfectionism and curiosity and innocence and a feeling of thats the way things should be, but these things are often out of our control and swiftly trampled upon by giants in synthetic boots. Its a love that hatred ultimately feed off, not because the love is bad or wrongly placed but because it is frustrated.
I don't know I don't if that makes any sense or is true or not just a reflection, probably a distorted one.
You asked about me dealing with an eating disorder. I do have one, and I'm not treating it by A. binging or B. starving.
I don't have an eating disorder. I'm still in the normal range anyway, and I still eat taco bell. Why do I offend you if you have been through something similar? I'm happy you're being treated.
I understand where you're coming from not wanting to disappoint your mom by destroying yourself. I look up to you for being strong like that. My mom is dead. And I'm selfish.
I'm sorry you don't buy the fact that I get fat off one meal. One of these days I'll take a before and after picture. I get fat eating two bags of cheez its in a day and nothing else. I am not 300 lbs, I never ever will be. But I still have my limits. I've still been chubby and don't want to be again. EVER.
I know I'm not fit and healthy. I'm not a whole lot of things that people think and wish I were. Yeah, that bothers me. I suck. I know. Fit and healthy should be more of a concern, but right now it isn't what drops the pounds. Course, look at my dumbass, even starving doesn't drop the pounds. Honestly, I'd like to bleed myself anemic. That annoys people. But I am not my biggest fan.
I'm sorry. But I KNOW better than a whole lot of people what makes people UGLY. Far too well. I don't like myself in pigtails on top of my head, I don't like myself in flourescent pink lipstick, I don't like myself in spaghetti straps, and I sure as hell don't like myself in FAT. To each their own.
I love people not for what they weigh. When it comes to other people, I don't care WHAT the hell you weigh, that makes absolutely no difference to me. Just as it makes no difference to me whether you wear spaghetti straps or pigtails. Its always easier to love other people than myself. So I have a problem with that, but I can't help not liking FAT hanging all over me. I'm sorry it offends and bothers you so much.
You asked about me dealing with an eating disorder. I do have one, and I'm not treating it by A. binging or B. starving. I started by meeting with my Primary Care doctor, an Endocrynologist and a Nutritionist. Together we came up with a plan to help me towards a track to eat smarter, healthier and have control over my intake while I work on the emotional aspects of my eating disorder.
I also realize - especially now while I'm going through the emotional roller coaster of my mother dying - that not taking care of myself would be the biggest dishonor I could ever do to my mother. Having a daughter live happily and healthfully is her sincerist wish. I just couldn't imagine her in the hospital and worrying that I was sick and not taking care of myself. It would be so selfish of me. It's a heavy subject on my mind. My mother is hurting enough, how so so selfish it would be of me to disrespect myself and cause her more worry.
Not to mention, and most importantly, it would be the biggest dishonor to myself to not take care of myself. Thank the universe I am a women with full use of all my arms and legs which allows me to move my body. Dammit.. I'm going to use the fuck out of them for the short time on this Earth that I have.
You said that you have fucked up your metabolism so eating such minimal calories is what you're stuck with or you'll get fat and ugly. I'm not buying that. I had to buy that from my 45 year old sister who just had Weight Loss Surgery last month because she says she spent so many years starving herself that anything she did eat made her weight to pass to over 300lbs. No, I'm not buying it from someone who has yet to barely to shadow the threshold of her 20's.
I'd question any nutritionist or doctor that thinks you'd be fit and healthy at 105 lbs and consuming 700 calories of crap.
But then again, this isn't about being fit or healthy for you. It's about self destruction. Once again, I'll say you are bandaging a wound while leaving another one to bleed you anemic.
Don't insult me by saying eating makes you fat and ugly. People aren't ugly because they are fat. People are ugly because of the color of their nature.
Reply
I hate myself when I gain. I can eat a sandwich and gain 5 Lbs b/c I (yes) I fucked my metabolism as well. I have puked, starved, diet pilled, laxatived my metabolism to nothing. And I feel ugly b/c I'm "normal healthy weight." Does that mean I think all people of bigger sizes are ugly????? FUCK NO! It's me I have issues w/ not other people. So, she's not insulting you by having issues w/ herself.
Now if you'll excuse me, my laxative has kicked in and I have to take a stacker.
Have a lovely day.
P.S. I would love Erin if her BMI was 95.9! I only want to see her happy and totally impathize w/ her feelings.
P.S.S. I'm ugly when I'm fat.
Reply
Reply
You are so very right. And I know this. I don't know if its about not loving anything more than my hate....because I love so much....but I guess I've never thought about whether my hate still overshadows it all....I dunno.
Thanks for the comment.
Reply
I don't know I don't if that makes any sense or is true or not just a reflection, probably a distorted one.
Reply
I don't have an eating disorder. I'm still in the normal range anyway, and I still eat taco bell. Why do I offend you if you have been through something similar? I'm happy you're being treated.
I understand where you're coming from not wanting to disappoint your mom by destroying yourself. I look up to you for being strong like that. My mom is dead. And I'm selfish.
I'm sorry you don't buy the fact that I get fat off one meal. One of these days I'll take a before and after picture. I get fat eating two bags of cheez its in a day and nothing else. I am not 300 lbs, I never ever will be. But I still have my limits. I've still been chubby and don't want to be again. EVER.
I know I'm not fit and healthy. I'm not a whole lot of things that people think and wish I were. Yeah, that bothers me. I suck. I know. Fit and healthy should be more of a concern, but right now it isn't what drops the pounds. Course, look at my dumbass, even starving doesn't drop the pounds. Honestly, I'd like to bleed myself anemic. That annoys people. But I am not my biggest fan.
I'm sorry. But I KNOW better than a whole lot of people what makes people UGLY. Far too well. I don't like myself in pigtails on top of my head, I don't like myself in flourescent pink lipstick, I don't like myself in spaghetti straps, and I sure as hell don't like myself in FAT. To each their own.
I love people not for what they weigh. When it comes to other people, I don't care WHAT the hell you weigh, that makes absolutely no difference to me. Just as it makes no difference to me whether you wear spaghetti straps or pigtails. Its always easier to love other people than myself. So I have a problem with that, but I can't help not liking FAT hanging all over me. I'm sorry it offends and bothers you so much.
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