A long time gone... a lot of changes
It has been months since I've posted... I admit, and I apologize to anyone who actually reads my journal - I forgot about it. My life has been quite hectic, and thus LJ got booted to the bottom of my list of priorities. However, I plan on fixing that!
My sweet son, Connor is nearly 7 months old! He is growing so fast... As of 2/19/08 he is 20lbs 11 oz, and 21 inches tall! He is so precious.
I'm single now. I admit it, to those who tried to warn me - I was naive, and it took me a long time to realize it. Our relationship failed for many reasons, some of which were beyond our control, some of which were directly our fault. I'm not really up for sharing these reasons in such an open forum, but if anyone would like to know them... feel free to email me.
I do not regret my son's birth. I do regret the fact that his father isn't good enough or man enough to help raise him. My son changed my life, for the better. I can't imagine my life without him. I do miss Adam, I still have love in my heart for him... but not the kind that keeps a couple together. I love him for giving me Connor. That is pretty much the extent of it.
I'm trying to move on with my life, but it isn't easy. The last 3 months have been difficult. I continue to struggle with my self esteem, thanks to some very negative comments I heard in the past (unrelated to me - but about single mothers in general). I do believe that I will find the right person, my soulmate. I do not know when, but some day. I'm attempting to fing myself again, to redefine who I am...
The nights are harder than anything else. I have frequent nightmares, and no one to hold me when I wake up terrified. I miss that, more than almost anything else.
Oh well... Life goes on