"WHAT? Yea, THAT'S what I said..."
I want to be the face you see when you close your eyes
I want to be the touch you need every single night
I want to be your fantasy
And be your reality
And everything between...
I saw SwimFan tonight. I'm scared shitless. I will not sleep tonight. I just won't. I don't know why movies scare me so much, but they do, and I'm scared. And it wasn't even supposed to be a scary movie. I think I have issues.
I went with Sarah, Mal, and Steph. It was a great time, and we went to Uno's after and it was some great stuff. We're all insane. It's wonderful. There are very few people I never feel stupid with, and I got to spend the night with some of them.
And I was in the bathroom at Uno's, and some guy walked in, said, "oh, FUCK" and walked back out. I laughed.
Half my boys are jewin' it, the other half are molesting freshmen. I miss them, and I want to go for a walk tomorrow...anyone free?
Have you ever noticed that there are distict differences between hanging out with guys and hanging out with girls? It's funny...with girls, I watch what I say, thinking everything over and wondering how it will be interpreted, and what will be repeated. I try to look nice and act polite, because I almost always feel as though I'm somehow being judged. I'm skeptical about every comment made, wondering if there's another meaning behind it. When I'm with guys, I feel safe and protected, loved and happy. I giggle too much and don't care if I'm in pajamas. I don't worry about what I say and I take what is said to me at face value. Maybe that's just me, but given the choice, I'd rather be with my boys. Maybe it's just them...maybe I've just gotten so close to them that I love and trust them more than anyone...they're the ones I always want to turn to. Maybe I'm just wierd and crazy? (that's prolly it...)
My 5 doctors appointments have the distict possibility of becoming 6.
Babies are cute.
Mal wants a boyfriend. I want someone to hold my hand and give me hugs and rub my back.
I wish it was next weekend, and I won't be in school Friday, so I have a four day weekend. Then the week after is the dance, and yes, I'm still excited. I already told John I won't be at gym, and I'm completely looking forward to spending the night with my friends not caring what anyone thinks and just enjoying the music and the people around me...I hope you all go!
Mal and I decided that we should go "camping" next weekend, but to Tuft's field. We should bring sleeping bags and coffee and candy and stay up all night talking and looking at the stars and laughing and making memories, because I've always wanted to do that and it will be fun. Can we? Please?
I'm still stuck on that whole wanting to know people's honest opinions about me kick. The more I talk to people, the more I wish I knew. Have you ever said anything about anyone behind their back? Not that I'm proud of it, but I know I have, and I wish I knew what people said about me. What's wrong with me? What's right? Do you even care? (probably not..*hehe*)
I believe my mother is going to make me go back to church beginning tomorrow. I don't know why, but it's a battle I won't bother fighting, seeing as it doesn't matter much either way to me.
I don't want to go back to school on Monday.
My mother told me I looked thin today. Mark your calendars, that's got to be a first. The only reason, I'm sure, was because John had nothing but good things to say about me today. Still, it was nice. For an hour or so I wasn't the antichrist. But I left before my good fortune ran out.
Sam is talking about homecoming dates already. Oh goodness...I don't even want to think about that yet! But when is it, October 19th? ehhh I've still got a month or so...wow...
I'm rambling out nonsense and probably making little to no sense, but it's ok.
My grandma is in New Jersey. I don't know 'till when, but I'm sleeping in her apartment until she gets back. No one bothers me, and for some reason I feel better being there. Almost like I'm not home...almost.
No one good is here to talk to.
I'm going to end my obnoxious rambling and go contemplate the meaning of life or something equally pointless. Goodnight and sweet dreams to all, and leave me a comment...I'm very interested to know what you think...of me...of school...of life...of someone else...I don't really care, it will just interest me later.
Thank you all...I love you!
...I want you to need me
Like the air you breathe
I want you to feel me
In everything
I want you to see me
In your every dream...
I want to be the touch you need every single night
I want to be your fantasy
And be your reality
And everything between...
I saw SwimFan tonight. I'm scared shitless. I will not sleep tonight. I just won't. I don't know why movies scare me so much, but they do, and I'm scared. And it wasn't even supposed to be a scary movie. I think I have issues.
I went with Sarah, Mal, and Steph. It was a great time, and we went to Uno's after and it was some great stuff. We're all insane. It's wonderful. There are very few people I never feel stupid with, and I got to spend the night with some of them.
And I was in the bathroom at Uno's, and some guy walked in, said, "oh, FUCK" and walked back out. I laughed.
Half my boys are jewin' it, the other half are molesting freshmen. I miss them, and I want to go for a walk tomorrow...anyone free?
Have you ever noticed that there are distict differences between hanging out with guys and hanging out with girls? It's funny...with girls, I watch what I say, thinking everything over and wondering how it will be interpreted, and what will be repeated. I try to look nice and act polite, because I almost always feel as though I'm somehow being judged. I'm skeptical about every comment made, wondering if there's another meaning behind it. When I'm with guys, I feel safe and protected, loved and happy. I giggle too much and don't care if I'm in pajamas. I don't worry about what I say and I take what is said to me at face value. Maybe that's just me, but given the choice, I'd rather be with my boys. Maybe it's just them...maybe I've just gotten so close to them that I love and trust them more than anyone...they're the ones I always want to turn to. Maybe I'm just wierd and crazy? (that's prolly it...)
My 5 doctors appointments have the distict possibility of becoming 6.
Babies are cute.
Mal wants a boyfriend. I want someone to hold my hand and give me hugs and rub my back.
I wish it was next weekend, and I won't be in school Friday, so I have a four day weekend. Then the week after is the dance, and yes, I'm still excited. I already told John I won't be at gym, and I'm completely looking forward to spending the night with my friends not caring what anyone thinks and just enjoying the music and the people around me...I hope you all go!
Mal and I decided that we should go "camping" next weekend, but to Tuft's field. We should bring sleeping bags and coffee and candy and stay up all night talking and looking at the stars and laughing and making memories, because I've always wanted to do that and it will be fun. Can we? Please?
I'm still stuck on that whole wanting to know people's honest opinions about me kick. The more I talk to people, the more I wish I knew. Have you ever said anything about anyone behind their back? Not that I'm proud of it, but I know I have, and I wish I knew what people said about me. What's wrong with me? What's right? Do you even care? (probably not..*hehe*)
I believe my mother is going to make me go back to church beginning tomorrow. I don't know why, but it's a battle I won't bother fighting, seeing as it doesn't matter much either way to me.
I don't want to go back to school on Monday.
My mother told me I looked thin today. Mark your calendars, that's got to be a first. The only reason, I'm sure, was because John had nothing but good things to say about me today. Still, it was nice. For an hour or so I wasn't the antichrist. But I left before my good fortune ran out.
Sam is talking about homecoming dates already. Oh goodness...I don't even want to think about that yet! But when is it, October 19th? ehhh I've still got a month or so...wow...
I'm rambling out nonsense and probably making little to no sense, but it's ok.
My grandma is in New Jersey. I don't know 'till when, but I'm sleeping in her apartment until she gets back. No one bothers me, and for some reason I feel better being there. Almost like I'm not home...almost.
No one good is here to talk to.
I'm going to end my obnoxious rambling and go contemplate the meaning of life or something equally pointless. Goodnight and sweet dreams to all, and leave me a comment...I'm very interested to know what you think...of me...of school...of life...of someone else...I don't really care, it will just interest me later.
Thank you all...I love you!
...I want you to need me
Like the air you breathe
I want you to feel me
In everything
I want you to see me
In your every dream...