Mind fucked like no other
Well damn what a weekend. Well I attempted to get my engagement ring back from the person who once held my heart. I trully didn't think it would have been a big deal, seeing as she has made it positively vas clear as mud that she is over me, and me having a wonderful beautiful girlfriend who I adore, that and I had no real desire to actually call Kahla other than to get my ring. Well yeah it didn't go over well. It solidifies my own personal innner workings that this is for the best. I wanted to close that chapter of my life, and my way of doing that was to get the one symbol of my love, my ring. I don't expect anyone to understand, but I wanted her to keep it because I always had that hope that she would see it and remember. Now I don't want her to remember, it just doesn't matter anymore. I want that ring because I've seen the errors of my ways and have realized, through the long ass journey of life that she is not want I want, and that my love was wasted on her. She did say she would give it to me in a million peices, which would honestly siut me. I didn't have an malice, but it just isn't worth the hassle. I can close it without the ring. To her it was just a valentines day present, to me it was more. And in that I find closure. So this new chapter is starting out pretty good. I'd be lying if I didn't say that I sometimes think of the past...but thats all it is, the past. I've done the one thing she wanted, or atleast said she wanted of me, and that was to move on. I no longer am worrying about her feelings and how she feels about me. Its so nice to feel loved though :)
I'm with someone who makes me feel alive again. She makes me feel special. This whole ordeal has taught me a few things, and Loida is teaching me many more. I like the fact that she doesn't get jealous, I love the fact that she wants to spend time with me. What i love the most is her understanding of many things, even when I don't even understand them.
I must get passed the pyschological scarring that the one before did to me. It is a beautiful thing to love. And moments are all we get. Lets make the best of the moment we have, by giving our all. Failure, heartache, and pain, are not enough of a deterrant to stop going all in. Things have changed. Love is no longer a foriegn word or, a word or emotion that scares me. To love is the greatest of human feelings, and the greatest of human actions.
I'm with someone who makes me feel alive again. She makes me feel special. This whole ordeal has taught me a few things, and Loida is teaching me many more. I like the fact that she doesn't get jealous, I love the fact that she wants to spend time with me. What i love the most is her understanding of many things, even when I don't even understand them.
I must get passed the pyschological scarring that the one before did to me. It is a beautiful thing to love. And moments are all we get. Lets make the best of the moment we have, by giving our all. Failure, heartache, and pain, are not enough of a deterrant to stop going all in. Things have changed. Love is no longer a foriegn word or, a word or emotion that scares me. To love is the greatest of human feelings, and the greatest of human actions.