AHHH!
AHHH! whats going on? I'm not sure. I guess I'm just having one of those 'what am I going to do with my life' moments. get a degree. work. but doing what? Im getting a BA in music. I would like to go for another field, say biz, but my gpa is less than favorable for that because I am dumb. hmmmm. work small jobs to pay the bills and work on a masters slowly? with my parents slowly withdrawing financially, that sounds the most realistic. as far as career goes, I love all aspects of food and entertainment. plenty of that to be found in orlando. I know ultimatly what I want in life, love and a family. (and I love Katie ^_^) but its all that other stuff that gets me worried from time to time. then again, I think I may be better off than some others, I know guys around my age noreally doing anything about the future. just takin it easy, playin games and goin out. or maybe thats just the point many come to in thier life ans stay on hold for long time. work and fuck around. everyones priorities are different tho. I do my fair share of fucking around. I don't really game much anymore, but farcry has seen a bit more of me these past few weeks. that whole jungle/commando thing with the wierd mutant monkey monsters throw into the mix, good stuff for what it is. and money, I've been spending way too much. gas, food, clothes, or just plain junk. Im not working enough to be spending much at all. I need to practice cooking on a budget, bike more, eat on campus much less (including coffee), clothes I really did need, and I need to use or sell the junk that I have. Im aware of it, and katie helps me be more aware of it because she never spends money. shes content with what she has, with the exception of books. she flys through those. but reading is wonderful, I wish I could do more of it. it brings knowledge, or at least insight to other peoples perception of thier exerience here. but yeah, I guess Im still just a kid. or just a guy. a junk guy. or another view on this is that I fear money going into things like rent and other bills or school expenses, because those things are intangible. this is a very childish and somewhat subcontious though process as I have already aknowledged the fact that one must pay bill in order to live. at least in the society that this is. they only have me working one day a week now! thats how I need it this semester, but damn! that wont bring in any sort of money. time to start exporing the cheap starches, pasta, potatoes, and rice. wow, this is really turning out to be a long one. still with me? nice. ok, one more thing for me to rant about. the gym! yes, the gym. once again I will complain about not going enough. heheheh, I spend all my evenings cooking, eating, and being full. then I go to bed earlier. so I havent been going. well, I will figure something out. for now, I think I need to cut this post to an end and once again congratulate you for making it through this mess of words and incomplete sentences. thank you and good night.