(no subject)
today was very hard
my first day home all day since it happened
saturday was ophelias favourite day (my only day off work)
so she got to be home and play all day
there are so many reminders of her all around the house, her two tunnels that she spent most of her time playing in
the little kitten scratch tower that only she used
the tea tree oil in the bathroom for her morning steam to help her breathe
and her night time cage and bed is still set up in my room and i can't bear to pack it all up
i think the 3 siameseys are happy she is not here
she pounced on them everytime she saw them causing them to scream like only siamese can, which made it all the more fun for ophelia they were really good squeaky toys, then she would chase them under the bed, or up windowsills they were great sport for her
so i think li mei, phaedra and raphael are enjoying the peace without the annoying babycat
but i miss her so much
when an animal dies there is no support
she was my baby, my child and i grieve for her as such
the neighbour murdered her effectively
i haven't heard a word from them since
and the other neighbours who came out at the time it happened to them it was just a cat run over in the street
if she was my human child there would be flowers cards baking being brought around
but because she was just a cat ..there is nothing
i can't bear to be around people carrying on with their lives
even eli came home today and seen me crying in bed and asked what was wrong as if something else had happened
i went to the garden centre to buy a flowering tree to plant on her and am going to make a memorial garden there
i brought a little cherub statue too and walked through the warehouse holding it sobbing thought everyone in the shop was staring at me. i just wanted to disappear
i got her a rhododendron called pink pearl which was flowering beautifully at the shop the others were dying off and i didn't want to put anything dying on her...but today when i went out there all the pink flowers had wilted and died so i cried all over again
i miss her terribly
and want to turn the clock back to monday
i can't stop blaming myself for not keeping her safe
she was so special there will never be another ophelia
my first day home all day since it happened
saturday was ophelias favourite day (my only day off work)
so she got to be home and play all day
there are so many reminders of her all around the house, her two tunnels that she spent most of her time playing in
the little kitten scratch tower that only she used
the tea tree oil in the bathroom for her morning steam to help her breathe
and her night time cage and bed is still set up in my room and i can't bear to pack it all up
i think the 3 siameseys are happy she is not here
she pounced on them everytime she saw them causing them to scream like only siamese can, which made it all the more fun for ophelia they were really good squeaky toys, then she would chase them under the bed, or up windowsills they were great sport for her
so i think li mei, phaedra and raphael are enjoying the peace without the annoying babycat
but i miss her so much
when an animal dies there is no support
she was my baby, my child and i grieve for her as such
the neighbour murdered her effectively
i haven't heard a word from them since
and the other neighbours who came out at the time it happened to them it was just a cat run over in the street
if she was my human child there would be flowers cards baking being brought around
but because she was just a cat ..there is nothing
i can't bear to be around people carrying on with their lives
even eli came home today and seen me crying in bed and asked what was wrong as if something else had happened
i went to the garden centre to buy a flowering tree to plant on her and am going to make a memorial garden there
i brought a little cherub statue too and walked through the warehouse holding it sobbing thought everyone in the shop was staring at me. i just wanted to disappear
i got her a rhododendron called pink pearl which was flowering beautifully at the shop the others were dying off and i didn't want to put anything dying on her...but today when i went out there all the pink flowers had wilted and died so i cried all over again
i miss her terribly
and want to turn the clock back to monday
i can't stop blaming myself for not keeping her safe
she was so special there will never be another ophelia