The random nature of the lessons the world leaves for us to learn
After about three hours of randomly (more or less) jumping from one journal to another, I found this in the thoughts of beautifuldead. For those who have eyes to see...
I kept a few of the answers, where the words already there were better than those I could conjure to replace them.
I Want: to feel that I fit inside my skin, that my face is my face, and not layer upon layer of masks. Sometimes, most of the time right now, I do, but...
I Have: two wondeful lovers & the company of good friends and true.
I Wish: I could forget myself long enough to dance.
I Hate: stupidity & the repitition of obvious errors.
I Miss: Kate - her scent, her touch, her presence; and another, who knows who she is, even though I see her in a few hours. And a certain boy who hasn't been around as much as usual.
I Fear: Myself.
I Hear: Voices upon the ether and the sighs of lovers.
I Search For: the road I'll know when I've followed it
I Wonder: constantly
I Love: my friends, my life
I Ache: always, but the most when I am happiest
I Always: forget to believe in myself
I Am Not: the small frightened person I was taught I was as a child
I Dance: not nearly enough
I Sing: not well, but with my heart
I Cry: not so easily as I wish
I Am Not Always: nice or patient
I Win: an occasional smile from a beautiful woman
I Lose: everyone I love
I Confuse: myself and usually everyone else
I Need: to realise I have two feet upon which to stand and a world in which to walk; I have to remember this every day - sometimes more than once
I Should: go to sleep. Right now. need to be up in a few hours.
My father thinks I am: a lost soul in need of salvation - and that I don't know a snake when I see one
My mother thinks I am: while she was alive, her son - now, who knows but she
What makes me happy: Being with friends, being with those I love.
Yes or No...
you keep a diary: Livejournal, a travelling note book, an infrequently used diary, and an even less frequently used metaphysical journal.
you like to cook: alone; although I'm not half bad, I do a bit of Dr. Jekyl & Chef Hyde.
you have a secret you have not shared with anyone: I'm certain I do, I just have to remember what it is...
you set your watch ahead: If it worked, I wouldn't.
you bite your fingernails: no more
you believe in love: How can I not?
Who is...?
the prettiest female you know: just one? Four pop immediately into my head! Of course, some of them would claim I was biased...
the loudest person you know: Kate. She didn't earn the monniker "Kate the Loud" for nothing.
Your closest friend(s): Changing tides, as people move hither & thither, in place & in soul - right now Kate, Chaedy, Cameron, Di.
The person that knows the most about you: Kate - she's had more time than anyone else to drag me out of me
Most boring teacher: Jesus on a pogo stick! Umm... that guy with knee socks & the bushy beard that did year 7 social studies; so boring I can't even remember his name!
Do You...?
take a shower everyday: Usually; more than one some days.
want to get married: Never had the desire.
Have any tattoos/where?: I have plans, but noting yet.
get motion sickness: Not usually.
think you're a health freak: Umm... the apple I just had was my first piece of fruit all week, so I think I fail.
get along with your parents: My mother is dead, my father should be.
Cuddle or Make Out: Both. Can't go without either.
Chocolate Milk, or Hot Chocolate: Both; chocolate milk is a good meal substitute when you only have thirty seconds to eat lunch and no time to digest it.
Dark, milk, OR White Chocolate?: When I eat chocolate, dark or milk; never white.
Vanilla OR Chocolate? Whichever works in the moment.
( In the past week have you.... )
Cried? Almost, but not for me.
Helped Someone? Yes.
Bought something? Yes, far to much good food.
Gotten Sick? Yes.
Gone to the Movies? No.
Gone out for Dinner? Twice.
SAID "I LOVE YOU"? Yes.
Written a Real Letter? No, but I've been meaning to all week.
Written in a Journal? I am now.
Talked to a crush? Tricky... yes.
Had a Serious Talk? Yes, more than one.
Missed Someone? Yes, repeatedly.
Hugged someone? Yes, repeatedly.
Fought With Your Parents? Hard to do, one being dead, and the other having the sense to never be around.
Fought With a Friend? Does shooting Cam in BF: 42 count?
Would You Ever...
1. Eat a bug? Chocolate coated?
2. Bungee jump? Only if I already needed to jump off a bridge.
3. Hang glide? If the opportunity presents, but its not something I'll be going out of my way for.
4. Kill someone? Many are the temptations placed before us, and it is a strong soul indeed that can turn from all of them.
5. Have sex with someone you don't love? Yes; don't know if I wouldn't love them by the end though.
6. Kiss someone of the same sex? Yup.
7. Have sex with someone of the same sex? Yup.
8. Parachute from a plane? I'm curious, maybe even a little tempted...
9. Walk on hot coals? Not unless I had to.
10. Go out with someone for their looks? Go out with? No. Go home with? Maybe.
11. For their reputation? No, but I wouldn't let their rep get in the way, if they seemed worthwhile.
12. Be a vegetarian? Not from choice.
13. Wear plaid with stripes? Never; and I'd need a kilt before I'd approach plaid.
14. IM a stranger? I don't usually
15. Sing karaoke? The volume of drink required would drain the bar dry long before I got on stage.
16. Get drunk off your ass? Sorry? Am I Australian or not! :)
17. Shoplift? Not since I was very much younger & very much stupider. Nevre got caught though.
18. Run a red light? If the necessity were there.
19. Star in a porn video? Don't think I would.
20. Dye your hair blue? Prefer red or purple; blue doesn't really go with my wardrobe.
21. Be on Survivor? Only if the gave me the only firearm on the island.
22. Wear makeup in public? Have before, probably will again, but only if someone applies it for me.
23. NOT wear makeup in public? Regularly, though I do use product.
24. Cheat on a test? Only personality tests.
25. Make someone cry? ... We do that by living, by caring & getting close to people.
26. Call your math teacher a motherfucker? Doubt I'll ever get the opportunity, been past high school, and specialising in fluffy research areas where the trickiest maths is counting footnotes, but if I had the opportunity beforeme, sure.
27. Kick a baby? Baby what? Baby monkey? No. baby whitetail? hand me my blunnies.
28. Date someone more than ten years older than you? Depends on the person, but as far as I know, it would be the first 'date' I'd have been on.
29. Cuss out a priest? Yes, yes & yes! My father was/is a church elder, and I've let my tongue loose on him.
30. Take a job as a janitor? Your less likely to cop abuse than a waiter, and the pay is probably better; however, waiters get to dress better... tough choice.
I kept a few of the answers, where the words already there were better than those I could conjure to replace them.
I Want: to feel that I fit inside my skin, that my face is my face, and not layer upon layer of masks. Sometimes, most of the time right now, I do, but...
I Have: two wondeful lovers & the company of good friends and true.
I Wish: I could forget myself long enough to dance.
I Hate: stupidity & the repitition of obvious errors.
I Miss: Kate - her scent, her touch, her presence; and another, who knows who she is, even though I see her in a few hours. And a certain boy who hasn't been around as much as usual.
I Fear: Myself.
I Hear: Voices upon the ether and the sighs of lovers.
I Search For: the road I'll know when I've followed it
I Wonder: constantly
I Love: my friends, my life
I Ache: always, but the most when I am happiest
I Always: forget to believe in myself
I Am Not: the small frightened person I was taught I was as a child
I Dance: not nearly enough
I Sing: not well, but with my heart
I Cry: not so easily as I wish
I Am Not Always: nice or patient
I Win: an occasional smile from a beautiful woman
I Lose: everyone I love
I Confuse: myself and usually everyone else
I Need: to realise I have two feet upon which to stand and a world in which to walk; I have to remember this every day - sometimes more than once
I Should: go to sleep. Right now. need to be up in a few hours.
My father thinks I am: a lost soul in need of salvation - and that I don't know a snake when I see one
My mother thinks I am: while she was alive, her son - now, who knows but she
What makes me happy: Being with friends, being with those I love.
Yes or No...
you keep a diary: Livejournal, a travelling note book, an infrequently used diary, and an even less frequently used metaphysical journal.
you like to cook: alone; although I'm not half bad, I do a bit of Dr. Jekyl & Chef Hyde.
you have a secret you have not shared with anyone: I'm certain I do, I just have to remember what it is...
you set your watch ahead: If it worked, I wouldn't.
you bite your fingernails: no more
you believe in love: How can I not?
Who is...?
the prettiest female you know: just one? Four pop immediately into my head! Of course, some of them would claim I was biased...
the loudest person you know: Kate. She didn't earn the monniker "Kate the Loud" for nothing.
Your closest friend(s): Changing tides, as people move hither & thither, in place & in soul - right now Kate, Chaedy, Cameron, Di.
The person that knows the most about you: Kate - she's had more time than anyone else to drag me out of me
Most boring teacher: Jesus on a pogo stick! Umm... that guy with knee socks & the bushy beard that did year 7 social studies; so boring I can't even remember his name!
Do You...?
take a shower everyday: Usually; more than one some days.
want to get married: Never had the desire.
Have any tattoos/where?: I have plans, but noting yet.
get motion sickness: Not usually.
think you're a health freak: Umm... the apple I just had was my first piece of fruit all week, so I think I fail.
get along with your parents: My mother is dead, my father should be.
Cuddle or Make Out: Both. Can't go without either.
Chocolate Milk, or Hot Chocolate: Both; chocolate milk is a good meal substitute when you only have thirty seconds to eat lunch and no time to digest it.
Dark, milk, OR White Chocolate?: When I eat chocolate, dark or milk; never white.
Vanilla OR Chocolate? Whichever works in the moment.
( In the past week have you.... )
Cried? Almost, but not for me.
Helped Someone? Yes.
Bought something? Yes, far to much good food.
Gotten Sick? Yes.
Gone to the Movies? No.
Gone out for Dinner? Twice.
SAID "I LOVE YOU"? Yes.
Written a Real Letter? No, but I've been meaning to all week.
Written in a Journal? I am now.
Talked to a crush? Tricky... yes.
Had a Serious Talk? Yes, more than one.
Missed Someone? Yes, repeatedly.
Hugged someone? Yes, repeatedly.
Fought With Your Parents? Hard to do, one being dead, and the other having the sense to never be around.
Fought With a Friend? Does shooting Cam in BF: 42 count?
Would You Ever...
1. Eat a bug? Chocolate coated?
2. Bungee jump? Only if I already needed to jump off a bridge.
3. Hang glide? If the opportunity presents, but its not something I'll be going out of my way for.
4. Kill someone? Many are the temptations placed before us, and it is a strong soul indeed that can turn from all of them.
5. Have sex with someone you don't love? Yes; don't know if I wouldn't love them by the end though.
6. Kiss someone of the same sex? Yup.
7. Have sex with someone of the same sex? Yup.
8. Parachute from a plane? I'm curious, maybe even a little tempted...
9. Walk on hot coals? Not unless I had to.
10. Go out with someone for their looks? Go out with? No. Go home with? Maybe.
11. For their reputation? No, but I wouldn't let their rep get in the way, if they seemed worthwhile.
12. Be a vegetarian? Not from choice.
13. Wear plaid with stripes? Never; and I'd need a kilt before I'd approach plaid.
14. IM a stranger? I don't usually
15. Sing karaoke? The volume of drink required would drain the bar dry long before I got on stage.
16. Get drunk off your ass? Sorry? Am I Australian or not! :)
17. Shoplift? Not since I was very much younger & very much stupider. Nevre got caught though.
18. Run a red light? If the necessity were there.
19. Star in a porn video? Don't think I would.
20. Dye your hair blue? Prefer red or purple; blue doesn't really go with my wardrobe.
21. Be on Survivor? Only if the gave me the only firearm on the island.
22. Wear makeup in public? Have before, probably will again, but only if someone applies it for me.
23. NOT wear makeup in public? Regularly, though I do use product.
24. Cheat on a test? Only personality tests.
25. Make someone cry? ... We do that by living, by caring & getting close to people.
26. Call your math teacher a motherfucker? Doubt I'll ever get the opportunity, been past high school, and specialising in fluffy research areas where the trickiest maths is counting footnotes, but if I had the opportunity beforeme, sure.
27. Kick a baby? Baby what? Baby monkey? No. baby whitetail? hand me my blunnies.
28. Date someone more than ten years older than you? Depends on the person, but as far as I know, it would be the first 'date' I'd have been on.
29. Cuss out a priest? Yes, yes & yes! My father was/is a church elder, and I've let my tongue loose on him.
30. Take a job as a janitor? Your less likely to cop abuse than a waiter, and the pay is probably better; however, waiters get to dress better... tough choice.