Writer's anxiety dream

[gwynraven]

So last night I dreamt that I had published a novel - just a short little YA fantasy thing, and I was at a conference giving out ARCs. For some reason, there was a huge trash chute next to my booth, and people kept picking up my book, flipping through it, and then throwing it down the chute in disgust. There were all of these *brilliant* writers there - authors I've loved since I was a child: Robin McKinley, Neil Gaiman, Diana Wynne Jones, Jane Yolen - and they all saw this happening and were looking at me with pity. Sharyn November was there too, and somehow I'd managed to get her as my editor. She kept bringing me replacement ARCs since my table kept emptying so fast, and she kept telling me how well I must be doing, as a first time writer, and I wanted to cry and tell her "no, they're throwing them all *away*" but I was too embarrassed. And then I woke up.

Literary self-esteem issues, me? Nah.