University of Florida is prepared

[gwynraven]

Buried among organizational and procedural documents of the University of Florida Libraries, under the category of UF Course Management System Disaster Preparedness Exercises, we find Exercise #5: Zombie Attack: Disaster Preparedness Simulation.



The document clearly defines the need for the University Libraries to be prepared in case of a zombie outbreak or attack, citing evidence of a growing concern in this country about zombie preparedness. The document goes on to define Zombieism, or more properly "zombie behavior spectrum disorder (ZBSD)" and the criteria for determining whether or not an event falls under the purview of this document. A number of academic citations are provided. Finally, the document goes on to outline the effects a zombie attack may have on the University of Florida Library System, and the steps that should be taken to mitigate these effects.

Some concerns:

"

1. In general, zombified users will be inarticulate and unable to clearly describe technology
   problems and use cases;
2. Some support staff may be infected and unable to effectively and efficiently carry out their support responsibilities;
3. The rapid breakdown of civil society and declining numbers of uninfected users may have
   adverse budget impacts resulting in a reduction in staffing levels;
4. The spread of ZBSD to institutional administration may complicate policy making;
5. Conversely, the spread of ZBSD to institutional administration may simplify and streamline policy making resulting in dramatic improvements in administrative responsiveness and service delivery;
6. Additional security measures will need to be implemented at service delivery points (i.e. the Hub and SSRB).

"

Topics and procedures to be covered in training sessions arising from this document are:

• Proper hygiene during an outbreak;
• Most effective hiding places and refuges should you encounter zombies at home;
• How to properly process and route inarticulate zombie-calls to avoid being accused of failing to adequately support infected UF faculty, staff, and students;
• Situational work practices such as covering windows, barricading doors, and distinguishing
  between zombie moans and other moaning encountered in the workplace;
• Dispelling myths. For example, contrary to Lawrence (2007),11 garlic will not stop true zombies, only vampires; and zombies do come out during the day, though they are most active a night because they typically do not like sunlight;
• Policies and procedures for dispatching an infected co-worker. (For example, employees should avoid dispatching infected employees in the absence of witnesses; this can cause problems with documentation.)

"

Finally, the document outlines goals and expected outcomes and provides as a supplement the following Infected Coworker Dispatch Form:

"INFECTED CO-WORKER DISPATCH FORM
Personal Information
Name: ___________________________________________________________ UFID: ___________
Work Phone: _________________ Work Address: _________________________________________
Work Department/Unit: _________________________________________________________________
Incident Information
Date of Incident: ___________________ Location: _________________________________________
This is to verify that at the time and place indicated above I was required to kill _____________________
(last name)
_____________________, UFID # _______________ because he / she was displaying the following
(last name) (if known)
symptoms of ZBSD, or Zombie Behavior Spectrum Disorder (check all that apply):
_____ headache
_____ fever
_____ chills
_____ other flu-like symptoms
_____ unresponsive to most stimuli
_____ moaning
_____ references to wanting to eat brains
_____ recently dead but moving again
_____ large areas of decaying flesh or open wounds
_____ lack of rational thought (this can cause problems confusing zombies with managers)
_____ killed and ate another employee: _____________________________________________
(name and unit of other employee)
Based on these symptoms I killed ____________________________________________ using a:
(name of dispatched zombie)
_____ handgun _____ rifle
_____ shotgun _____ baseball bat
_____ chainsaw _____ piece of furniture
_____ explosive device - ____________________________________________________(describe device)
other - _________________________________________________________________(describe)
Dispatching Employee Signature: _________________________________________________________

Witnessses:
_____________________ _____________________ ______________ ________________________
(last name) (first name) (UFID #) (unit)
______________________________________________________________
(witness signature)
_____________________ _____________________ ______________ ________________________
(last name) (first name) (UFID #) (unit)
______________________________________________________________
(witness signature)
_____________________ _____________________ ______________ ________________________
(last name) (first name) (UFID #) (unit)
______________________________________________________________
(witness signature)

=========================================================================================

DO NOT WRITE BELOW THIS LINE - TO BE COMPLETED BY UNIVERSITY ADMINISTRATION
Reviewed by: ________________________________________ _____________________________
(name) (title)

Dispatch is: _____ Approved
_____ Physical plant has been notified to send housekeeping for cleanup
_____ Employee has been sent additional ammunition (as appropriate)
_____ HR has been notified to stop salary payments to dispatched employee and victims (if any)

Dispatch is: _____ Not Approved
_____ Physical plant has been notified to send housekeeping for cleanup
_____ Employee supervisor has been notified to write letter of reprimand for employee file
_____ HR has been notified to stop salary payments to dispatched employee and victims (if any)
_____ This is a first offence [If this is a repeat offence, employee supervisor should be notified to initiate
termination procedures. Improperly dispatching UF employees shall receive little toleration.]"

In summary, I would like to congratulate the University of Florida Libraries on their admirable dedication to the safety of their students and employees while committing to providing support services to all qualified recipients regardless of living status.

If you would like to know more about the University of Florida's Zombie Attack Plan, you can read the full document here.

All excerpts quoted in this review are copyright University of Florida and are provided here in accordance with Fair Use.