(no subject)
Ouran: FINALE
...the last two chapters felt extremely rushed. I'm still all... BWUH!? its over?! wtf kinna ending WAS that? ok, I'll admit the way it ended had me rolling because... just- LOL. oh man XD I love this series for all the lol XD
...maybe there'll be a new continuation series like W-Juliet II or something. that might be cool. the host club, in Boston XD!!!
/lol's forever.
Reborn 307:
...I've never been bored with Ryohei before. this is a first. and I dont like Enma anymore ._. he turned into a little bitch with his Sin Blood Awakening. and... I dunno how much longer Tsuna's gonna be able to hold back his rage once this shit hits the fan.
Naruto 511:
ok. ok. I wont cry. I'm not. I-
....*BAWLS* WTF MAN. WHAT KINNA CRACK YOU BE SMOKIN KISHI!? WRY SO MUCH TRAGEDY?
AND JIRAIYA. WRY MUST YOU TORMENT ME SO KISHI? /sob.
Jiraiya in a frog suit with the kids though...G'Aaaaaaaaaaawwwww. godwrysocyut.;-;
but also so so sad. they all died ;_;
/wahfest.
seriosuly though =/ this trio's death is just.. guh. Kishi sucks for linking about every fucking generation with his parallel character structures. I mean, how does:
Sakura/Naruto/Sasuke =
Konan/Yahiko/Nagato =
Tsunade/Jiraiya/Orochimaru?
...huh, wtf brain.
and now. because I cant escape myself no matter how hard I try;
...I'm losing it. really. I feel like I'm spiraling down an endless abyss of despair and hopelessness. everything's just going so wrong in every possible way. I feel like every move I make, every decision I take only throws me deeper into this inescapable void that is my life.
I feel so so alone and tired and numb. and just when I think my heart cant possibly feel anymore desolation I think of my situation and how fucked over I am and the well of tears I thought had dried up just spews forth in a fruitless torrent of desperation.
the tears dont stop. its like I cant stop them from coming and any little thing simply reminds me of how fucking wedged I am between that rock and hard place I call my life.
My job sucks. my life sucks. I have NO one I feel like love is beyond me at this point. I'll be 27 in two weeks for christ's sake and still ... STILL this unreasonable and tenacious bad luck that has tormented me forever will NOT let me see the light you people call 'hope'.
I've only ever loved once in my life and I think she took a piece of me with her. she torments me still. so ruthlessly, so callously, so obliviously. she was the only thing that ever brought me any real happiness and for that reason alone I cant possibly hate her. she made me so happy. so happy...
I remember that joy. everything about her just sets me off all over again and those damned tears I feel I'm finally done with just spill over, tearing my heart open with its vicious suddenness.
I cant ever love again. not like that. not with all my heart like she consumed me. does still. there's no place for anyone else in my heart. she's imprinted in my everything. my habits, my trauma's, my preferences, my interests.
I could've held her hand forever. I would've. but it hurt so much to see her so happy with someone else. it hurt like nothing I'd ever felt to feel that I didnt mean a thing to her. that I was disposable. I felt so replaceable and insignificant. I felt like a cheap replacement for the person she really wanted to be with. and yet still she made me so so fucking HAPPY. I'd never felt so damn ALIVE. no one had ever made my heart leap with joy, like music. she was the music of my heart.
I cant tear her out of me. she's dear and precious to me still. after all these years, after all the people who have loved me. she's STILL the only one I would give my heart to. not even Danny, not Felix, no one will ever mean to me what she means to me even now. she made me feel... free. free to love her as much as I possibly could, I was never afraid to show her the extent of my affection. not until the end when everything went to shit.
My Sasuke left me and I'm left trying to put back together the shattered fragments of my life and heart while she... I dont know what she's doing, I'm so desperate to find her. in my heart I want so much to find her and hold her and simply beg her to never leave me again. to kiss her cheek and stroke her hair and hold her hand. to sit with her and feel her warmth and simply BE with her.
...I'm such a masochist.
she holds my heart and I'm literally powerless to get it back. I did give it to her.
I'm afraid of myself because I feel like I'd drop everything for her if she asked me. if she wanted me to leave, I would. I'd follow her to hell if she but beckoned to me. I have always been her pawn and she will forever be my master.
...where are you Sami? I miss you. I love you still. please stop tormenting me this way. I cant stand it anymore. you're driving me insane with all these obsessive thoughts of you. I cant get over you. I cant love anyone like I loved you.
I feel like I'm full of poison and misfortune. like everything I touch turns to dust. like everything I hold dear is only there to torment me in the long run. like everything I love chains me into this unhappy life I lead.
help is...not possible for a damned soul. and that's exactly what I feel like right now. Damned. to this hell where everything- EVERYTHING is but a prelude to the greatest tragedy that began with my birth.
oh, and this wasnt even MEANT to be an emo post.
you see now why I need the green?
...the last two chapters felt extremely rushed. I'm still all... BWUH!? its over?! wtf kinna ending WAS that? ok, I'll admit the way it ended had me rolling because... just- LOL. oh man XD I love this series for all the lol XD
...maybe there'll be a new continuation series like W-Juliet II or something. that might be cool. the host club, in Boston XD!!!
/lol's forever.
Reborn 307:
...I've never been bored with Ryohei before. this is a first. and I dont like Enma anymore ._. he turned into a little bitch with his Sin Blood Awakening. and... I dunno how much longer Tsuna's gonna be able to hold back his rage once this shit hits the fan.
Naruto 511:
ok. ok. I wont cry. I'm not. I-
....*BAWLS* WTF MAN. WHAT KINNA CRACK YOU BE SMOKIN KISHI!? WRY SO MUCH TRAGEDY?
AND JIRAIYA. WRY MUST YOU TORMENT ME SO KISHI? /sob.
Jiraiya in a frog suit with the kids though...G'Aaaaaaaaaaawwwww. godwrysocyut.;-;
but also so so sad. they all died ;_;
/wahfest.
seriosuly though =/ this trio's death is just.. guh. Kishi sucks for linking about every fucking generation with his parallel character structures. I mean, how does:
Sakura/Naruto/Sasuke =
Konan/Yahiko/Nagato =
Tsunade/Jiraiya/Orochimaru?
...huh, wtf brain.
and now. because I cant escape myself no matter how hard I try;
...I'm losing it. really. I feel like I'm spiraling down an endless abyss of despair and hopelessness. everything's just going so wrong in every possible way. I feel like every move I make, every decision I take only throws me deeper into this inescapable void that is my life.
I feel so so alone and tired and numb. and just when I think my heart cant possibly feel anymore desolation I think of my situation and how fucked over I am and the well of tears I thought had dried up just spews forth in a fruitless torrent of desperation.
the tears dont stop. its like I cant stop them from coming and any little thing simply reminds me of how fucking wedged I am between that rock and hard place I call my life.
My job sucks. my life sucks. I have NO one I feel like love is beyond me at this point. I'll be 27 in two weeks for christ's sake and still ... STILL this unreasonable and tenacious bad luck that has tormented me forever will NOT let me see the light you people call 'hope'.
I've only ever loved once in my life and I think she took a piece of me with her. she torments me still. so ruthlessly, so callously, so obliviously. she was the only thing that ever brought me any real happiness and for that reason alone I cant possibly hate her. she made me so happy. so happy...
I remember that joy. everything about her just sets me off all over again and those damned tears I feel I'm finally done with just spill over, tearing my heart open with its vicious suddenness.
I cant ever love again. not like that. not with all my heart like she consumed me. does still. there's no place for anyone else in my heart. she's imprinted in my everything. my habits, my trauma's, my preferences, my interests.
I could've held her hand forever. I would've. but it hurt so much to see her so happy with someone else. it hurt like nothing I'd ever felt to feel that I didnt mean a thing to her. that I was disposable. I felt so replaceable and insignificant. I felt like a cheap replacement for the person she really wanted to be with. and yet still she made me so so fucking HAPPY. I'd never felt so damn ALIVE. no one had ever made my heart leap with joy, like music. she was the music of my heart.
I cant tear her out of me. she's dear and precious to me still. after all these years, after all the people who have loved me. she's STILL the only one I would give my heart to. not even Danny, not Felix, no one will ever mean to me what she means to me even now. she made me feel... free. free to love her as much as I possibly could, I was never afraid to show her the extent of my affection. not until the end when everything went to shit.
My Sasuke left me and I'm left trying to put back together the shattered fragments of my life and heart while she... I dont know what she's doing, I'm so desperate to find her. in my heart I want so much to find her and hold her and simply beg her to never leave me again. to kiss her cheek and stroke her hair and hold her hand. to sit with her and feel her warmth and simply BE with her.
...I'm such a masochist.
she holds my heart and I'm literally powerless to get it back. I did give it to her.
I'm afraid of myself because I feel like I'd drop everything for her if she asked me. if she wanted me to leave, I would. I'd follow her to hell if she but beckoned to me. I have always been her pawn and she will forever be my master.
...where are you Sami? I miss you. I love you still. please stop tormenting me this way. I cant stand it anymore. you're driving me insane with all these obsessive thoughts of you. I cant get over you. I cant love anyone like I loved you.
I feel like I'm full of poison and misfortune. like everything I touch turns to dust. like everything I hold dear is only there to torment me in the long run. like everything I love chains me into this unhappy life I lead.
help is...not possible for a damned soul. and that's exactly what I feel like right now. Damned. to this hell where everything- EVERYTHING is but a prelude to the greatest tragedy that began with my birth.
oh, and this wasnt even MEANT to be an emo post.
you see now why I need the green?