(no subject)
it is a beautiful, summer-like day... i have nothing to do, nowhere to go, and nobody to spend it with.
there is also no electricity at my house, thus adding to the monumental level of wtf-am-i-gonna-do-with-myself-ness.
despite these facts, i can't honestly say that i wish i had gone to Wickerman. as much as it was a magickal, fantastic time for me last year, it was also, in too many ways, where my life seemed to take that "wrong turn at Albequerque" or something. the general recurring theme of shit falling apart got turned up to a whole nother level since then... it's been the best of times, it's been the worst of times. and everything i gained was just lost, all too quickly.
*sigh*
a big part of me wants to call up Tyler & see what he's doing, but i think i would just feel incredibly lame. it's a holiday weekend, and he probably already has planz out the waz00.
if i didn't have to go back to philly (6576535423 days later) and take my medicine & feed the cat i'd probly go see Leah in Atlantic City... she's there for the day, but i am not in the mood at all for shore crowds. if i wasn't lame as motherfucking hell, i'd go to a BBQ later. as much as i;d like to see the person throwing it (it's only been 11 years :B) i am just not in the mood for people right now, much less people i don't know. the thought occurred to me that dad is probably grilling out tonight too, but words cannot possibly express how little i want to go & be around that. his friends seem to think giving me shit about my clothes/hair/tattoos/friends/boyfriends/life/etc is a high-class sporting event. F that.
i kinda just wanna wander around in Manayunk and get water ice or something. maybe i'll just do that alone, but it will probly only make me feel crappier.
damn, i'm emo today.
:(
_
EDIT: maybe i can see who's @ InFusion tonite and go over to Earth with them after they close... that would be kinda nice. we shall see...
*
there is also no electricity at my house, thus adding to the monumental level of wtf-am-i-gonna-do-with-myself-ness.
despite these facts, i can't honestly say that i wish i had gone to Wickerman. as much as it was a magickal, fantastic time for me last year, it was also, in too many ways, where my life seemed to take that "wrong turn at Albequerque" or something. the general recurring theme of shit falling apart got turned up to a whole nother level since then... it's been the best of times, it's been the worst of times. and everything i gained was just lost, all too quickly.
*sigh*
a big part of me wants to call up Tyler & see what he's doing, but i think i would just feel incredibly lame. it's a holiday weekend, and he probably already has planz out the waz00.
if i didn't have to go back to philly (6576535423 days later) and take my medicine & feed the cat i'd probly go see Leah in Atlantic City... she's there for the day, but i am not in the mood at all for shore crowds. if i wasn't lame as motherfucking hell, i'd go to a BBQ later. as much as i;d like to see the person throwing it (it's only been 11 years :B) i am just not in the mood for people right now, much less people i don't know. the thought occurred to me that dad is probably grilling out tonight too, but words cannot possibly express how little i want to go & be around that. his friends seem to think giving me shit about my clothes/hair/tattoos/friends/boyfriends/life/etc is a high-class sporting event. F that.
i kinda just wanna wander around in Manayunk and get water ice or something. maybe i'll just do that alone, but it will probly only make me feel crappier.
damn, i'm emo today.
:(
_
EDIT: maybe i can see who's @ InFusion tonite and go over to Earth with them after they close... that would be kinda nice. we shall see...
*