Doctor my eyes (jesus fucking christ remix)
Because life hasn't been bad enough and I haven't had enough fucking medical mini emergencies this year, now I have fuckin' pink-eye. I have no idea how I got it.
All this week, my right eye and then the last couple days, both eyes, have watered ceaselessly, and it often looked like I was practicing that "single perfect tear" moment. Then last night I had trouble sleeping because of all the watering, and woke up looking like my eyes had been surgically altered to create an epicanthic fold. I suppose I could have thought of it like Kirk being altered to be a Romulan or something, but I just couldn't believe my...uh...eyes when I saw them in the mirror. I immediately got "Turning Japanese" as an earworm. It's kind of surreal to see your normal big round blue eyes suddenly look so dramatically different.
Over the course of the morning they became redder and redder. But you know, I'm such a dimwit that it didn't occur to me I could have conjunctivitis. I've never had it, I've never seen anyone I know with it (not that people I know haven't had it, I've just never seen them with it), and my first thought was that I'd developed sudden allergies to my kitties. Or that Olive was bringing me some kind of blinding pestilence from the greater outdoors and by sleeping near my head, she'd contaminated my sheets and I would go blind.
I have this irrational and deepseated fear of losing my vision. I mean, I'm phobic about it -- years ago, a light bulb exploded in front of my head when I was pasting up my newspaper (ha! take that, kids these days), and I was so shaken up by it I couldn't work. Nothing happened to me, but it hit my phobia so bad that I was late to the printer. So of course visions of slowly sigh-eradicating diseases or toxins were going through mind when I posted a question to Metafilter about it, and a bunch of people said it sounded like viral pink-eye. I didn't want to go to urgent care because of cost and I hate that place, but I went and he said, yeah, conjunctivitis but let's try Refresh eye drops and Claritin first before you fill the prescription, and hopefully you can just tear it up and not have to use them. Considering the antibiotics issues I had this year with the cat bite, I'm all for that.
Honestly, two rounds of eye drops (most of which have ended up all over my face and neck), I'm feeling a tiny bit better, and the slight fever is going down a bit now. For a while there my eyes were really starting to hurt. I have a lot of reading to do tonight though, so we'll see how well I do with my Mr. Magoo vision.
Really, WTF universe? What did I ever do to you, you rat-fucking bastard?
All this week, my right eye and then the last couple days, both eyes, have watered ceaselessly, and it often looked like I was practicing that "single perfect tear" moment. Then last night I had trouble sleeping because of all the watering, and woke up looking like my eyes had been surgically altered to create an epicanthic fold. I suppose I could have thought of it like Kirk being altered to be a Romulan or something, but I just couldn't believe my...uh...eyes when I saw them in the mirror. I immediately got "Turning Japanese" as an earworm. It's kind of surreal to see your normal big round blue eyes suddenly look so dramatically different.
Over the course of the morning they became redder and redder. But you know, I'm such a dimwit that it didn't occur to me I could have conjunctivitis. I've never had it, I've never seen anyone I know with it (not that people I know haven't had it, I've just never seen them with it), and my first thought was that I'd developed sudden allergies to my kitties. Or that Olive was bringing me some kind of blinding pestilence from the greater outdoors and by sleeping near my head, she'd contaminated my sheets and I would go blind.
I have this irrational and deepseated fear of losing my vision. I mean, I'm phobic about it -- years ago, a light bulb exploded in front of my head when I was pasting up my newspaper (ha! take that, kids these days), and I was so shaken up by it I couldn't work. Nothing happened to me, but it hit my phobia so bad that I was late to the printer. So of course visions of slowly sigh-eradicating diseases or toxins were going through mind when I posted a question to Metafilter about it, and a bunch of people said it sounded like viral pink-eye. I didn't want to go to urgent care because of cost and I hate that place, but I went and he said, yeah, conjunctivitis but let's try Refresh eye drops and Claritin first before you fill the prescription, and hopefully you can just tear it up and not have to use them. Considering the antibiotics issues I had this year with the cat bite, I'm all for that.
Honestly, two rounds of eye drops (most of which have ended up all over my face and neck), I'm feeling a tiny bit better, and the slight fever is going down a bit now. For a while there my eyes were really starting to hurt. I have a lot of reading to do tonight though, so we'll see how well I do with my Mr. Magoo vision.
Really, WTF universe? What did I ever do to you, you rat-fucking bastard?