87 Birds - Chapter 2

[gwylliondream]

Title: 87 Birds
Author: gwyllion
Genre: Canon era
Pairing: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet
Rating: R
Words: 31,800
A/N: 87 Birds was written for the Our Flag Mean Death Big Bang 2022. Please see Chapter 1 for more notes.
Disclaimer: I did not create these characters. No disrespect intended. No profit desired, only muses.
Comments: Comments are welcome anytime, thanks so much for reading!



“Here, try this,” Oluwande said as he tugged on the bunched-up leather Stede had used as a pillow.

“What’s happening?” Stede asked, his voice groggy as he awoke from his rest. His fingers clutched a fresh pillow that had been propped beneath his head.

“Everything’s fine. We’ve brought Ed back here to recuperate,” Oluwande said in a hushed voice.

“You’re going to get a crick in your neck, sleeping like that,” Jim said, merely observing, keeping their hands in their pockets, where their dagger, and God knows what other weapons, resided.

“Sorry Captain,” Oluwande said. “I was trying to give you a better pillow. You need your rest, too.”

“I’m fine, but Ed’s back? Already?” Stede asked, swinging his legs off the sofa. His stocking-feet hit the floor and he quickly got his balance to stride toward the bed.

“Wee John and Frenchie carried him back here after Roach finished up,” Oluwande assured Stede.

“You didn’t miss much” Jim added, keeping their distance.

Oluwande stepped behind Stede and nodded at Ed’s sleeping form. “It’s important for him to sleep,” he said.

“He’s not waking up for a long time,” Jim remarked.

“No, I don’t suspect he will,” Stede said. “Thank you for checking in on us. I suppose I can look after him while he rests.”

Oluwande sighed at Jim. “We’ll leave you for now, Captain,” he said. “There’s still a lot to clean up in the galley.”

Stede cringed. As if he needed a reminder of the carnage that followed one of Roach’s butchering efforts. “You’re leaving?” Stede asked.

“We’ll come back to check up on you in a bit,” Oluwande said.

“Or we’ll send another member of your crew… maybe Lucius,” Jim said suggested with an invisible smirk.

“Take care, Captain,” Oluwande said.

Stede could tell by the look on both of their faces that they were at a loss for what to say. As crewmates who loved each other, Jim and Oluwande knew of the loss Stede now faced. Surely, if they were faced with the same scenario, they would struggle as much as Stede did for words when he approached the mattress where Ed lay.

When the door closed behind them, Stede took a deep breath and listened to the rain pattering at the windows. The gentle rock of the Revenge on the waves lent some sense of peace to the scene. The fire crackled in the hearth, bringing a soft glow to the cabin that had grown dark with nightfall on the sea.

Stede knelt by Ed’s side. Ed’s hair, just as lovely as it had been in the morning before dawn broke on this awful day, sprawled across the pillow like a silver halo. Without speaking, Stede lifted the coverlet. He let his eyes rove over Ed’s body.

From head to chest.

From his waist to his groin.

From his right thigh to his left.

Lower.

To the place where Ed’s left leg had been.

The absence of Ed’s leg had been expected. Stede’s mind played the trick of wishing that Ed’s leg was still intact when he peered beneath the covers, but alas, his foolish hopes were dashed. Stede gently dropped the blanket over Ed, hoping he would not be disturbed by his intrusion.

He let his fingers drift up the coverlet to Ed’s face, his beard had almost fully grown in now. Stede waved his hand slowly over the silvery black curls that decorated Ed’s jawline. Although Stede did not touch Ed’s luxurious beard, Ed’s eyes fluttered open.

“Stede?” Ed asked, his voice rough against the patter of rain.

“I’m here, darling,” Stede said, taking his hand.

The firelight flickered over Ed’s face as he closed his eyes.

“Can you still see me?” Ed whispered.

“Always, my love,” Stede said, pressing his lips to the back of Ed’s hand.



~

Stede’s feet touched the deck of the Revenge for the first time in a month. His pulse pounded through his veins so urgently that he feared his heart would explode such was his excitement at seeing Ed again.

Thanks to Fang’s willingness to believe that Stede would someday reunite with his crew, he spotted the overcrowded dinghy and alerted Lucius. The pair set a plan in motion to keep Izzy and Ed occupied while the rescued crew of the Revenge boarded her again.

During the past few days, Stede had listened to tales of Ed’s transformation. It would be prudent to avoid cannonfire from Izzy… or from Ed when they sighted the Revenge again. Despite the daunting news, Stede welcomed the company of his crew. Their tales made the endless days of rowing pass more quickly.

After setting off on the open sea from Bridgetown, Stede had spent too much time alone with his thoughts. As he rowed alone across the undulating Caribbean waves, he had dreamed of his reunion with Ed when he reached the Revenge. Ed would welcome Stede, taking him into his arms and kissing him again. Only this time, Stede would know that the feeling of butterflies fighting to escape from his throat was that of love. He had Mary to thank for recognizing it. But since rescuing his crew, the stories about Ed’s spiral into despair, followed by outright violence, interfered with the fantasy reunion Stede had imagined.

With Fang’s help, Stede docked the overcrowded dinghy with the Revenge before Izzy or Ed could take notice.

Hushed voices greeted the missing crewmates while Ivan kept Izzy and Ed occupied in the captain’s quarters.

“Oh my God, you won’t believe what I’ve lived through,” Lucius said, much too loudly, as he took a relieved Black Pete into his arms.

“Jim,” Oluwande breathed. “I was worried I’d never see you alive again.”

“You know me better than that,” Jim said as they pulled Oluwande in for a hug.

With Stede’s first task of reuniting the crew with those left behind on the Revenge complete, he needed to prepare for a reunion of his own. He rocked on his heels, adrenalin coursing through him, even after such exhausting days of rowing.

“Now, I’m off to find my former co-captain,” Stede announced.

“A warning, Captain,” Jim stopped Stede with a raised hand. “Blackbeard’s not the same man who left with you when the English came. Be careful.”

“I appreciate the info, Jim,” Stede said. “The crew has filled me in on some of the details, but I didn’t fake my death and row all this way to not be reunited with the love of my life.”

Lucius rolled his eyes.

“You’d be well warned, Cap’n, we may have left out some of the more devastating bits,” Buttons said, clacking his teeth together.

“The most devastating bit was that we were marooned on that island in the first place,” Roach said, gesturing wildly. “That will be the part of the story that pisses off Captain Bonnet the most since he cares for us as if we are his children.”

“Yes, well, I do care about all of you deeply,” Stede said. The crews’ observation was touching. It was true that Stede loved each member of his crew as if they were his family. He tried to contain the anger he felt at Ed for abandoning his crew to a certain death. There had to be an explanation that would help him make some sense of Ed’s actions. Still, Stede was confident that his love for Ed would overpower any feelings of disappointment he had with Ed’s behaviour.

“The most devastating part wasn’t the same thing for everyone,” the Swede added in his inimitable cadence. “For me, the worst part was that we never got to put on the talent show.”

“There, there,” Wee John said, patting the Swede’s shoulder.

The waves rocked the Revenge. The rhythmic rapping of the dinghy striking against the hull served as an unwanted alarm that the small vessel had made contact with the ship. It wouldn’t take long for Ed and Izzy to notice that an invading crew had arrived. Ivan could only keep them occupied for so long.

Stede had already rowed for days with his crew, nary a seabird in sight. Now he would claim the prize he sought. He pinched his shoulders and tugged upward releasing the fabric of his worn and sweaty shirt from where it clung to his back. Regretfully, there hadn’t been time to wash up or to locate a more appropriate reunion outfit from his wardrobe. He could feel the leather of his shoes through the holes that had worn in his stockings. These clothes would have to do.

The stumbling of urgent boots clambered up the stairs toward the deck. Ed was on his way.

Stede pushed his hair out of his eyes and turned to his crew. “You may want to stay hidden, in case this goes badly,” Stede warned them.

“Nay, Captain,” Buttons refuted. “We’ve come this far with ye, I imagine most of us will want to go the distance.

Oluwande said, “You’ve got this, Captain.”

A hum of agreement rose from the crew.

Stede’s heart raced in his chest. He couldn’t wait to tell Ed about the fuckery of faking his own death. Any concerns about his outward appearance would have to be set aside, although it was hard to forget that his arms ached and his palms chafed from the oars. The back of his neck stung red with sunburn and his lips were as dry as leather, but Stede could disregard these improprieties if it meant that he would soon be reunited with Ed. Still, he worried that it was a terrible idea to confront Ed on the deck of the Revenge. He yearned to meet with Ed in private, where he could speak from his heart without an eager audience listening to his every word.

Lucius ducked for cover as the footsteps approached.

“Where are you going, Lucius?” Stede asked, his voice an octave higher than usual. “I’ll want you to record the details of the Gentleman Pirate’s triumphant return to his ship.”

“Um, did I mention that Ed thinks I’m dead?” Lucius stammered.

Stede’s brow furrowed. “Oh, never mind,” he said, intent of getting the rest of the story from Lucius later.

As the footsteps approached, Stede recognized with some dismay that he might need to contend with Izzy first. The hold that Izzy had on Ed would not easily be broken, no matter that Ed had blamed him for the English capturing himself and Stede.

The thought of Izzy’s antagonistic behaviour toward Stede catapulted him into a memory of his fear when he was a child waiting to be punished by his unforgiving father. Stede had been convinced that he would never be good enough to deserve all that he inherited, just as Izzy had been determined to convince Ed that Stede was a useless ponce. Like Izzy, Stede’s father never missed an opportunity to berate Stede. He insisted that any good fortune that came Stede’s way had done so only because of pure luck acquired by accident. If Izzy tried to come between Stede and Ed now, Stede, in his weakened physical state, would not stand a chance against him.

Still, Stede would go down fighting, although it would be so much easier for him to cower now. To give up. To leap back onto the dinghy and row back into the sea. But his heart beat for a reunion with Ed.

Ed, who kissed him.

Ed, who wanted to run away to China with him.

The urge to see Ed again, to feel Ed’s lips on his again… it drowned out any fear of not being worthy, or any sting of sunburnt skin or throbbing muscles. It laid waste to any threat that might come from Izzy Hands.

“What do we have here?” Izzy asked, climbing to the top of the stairs and drawing his sword.

Stede gulped in a deep breath. He had hoped Izzy wouldn’t be the first to make it up to the deck.

“We meet again, Dizzy,” Stede said, in a move that took all his courage. “I have no business here with you. I’m here to see… Ed…”

Whatever horror Stede expected to find when he reunited with the man he loved, the spectre that appeared before him was not it. The same leather jacket covered the shoulders that Stede remembered so well, but Ed’s posture had changed. He slumped into himself with the carriage of a defeated man. Ed’s hair, once gleaming with silver, now lay lank and dull, unkempt. His eyes, which once could melt Stede with their heat, now set cold in their sockets, ringed with the dark circles of tiredness.

“Stede fucking Bonnet,” Izzy yelped. He surged toward Stede despite now walking with a pronounced limp.

Stede fought to get a grip of himself. He wanted to go to Ed, to hold him, to tell him that everything would be all right, now that he stood on the deck of his ship again. But first he needed to address Izzy.

“I’ve bested you at swordplay twice now, Iggy,” Stede said. He tried to keep his voice from wavering with fear. “I’d happily go for a third time.”

“Let me do it, boss,” Izzy said through gritted teeth, directing his words toward Ed.

Stede glanced at Ed’s face, marred with smears of black grease, his expression inscrutable.

A hush of silence fell over the deck of the Revenge as it rose and fell on the waves.

“I won’t have you stab an unarmed man,” Ed said, turning his head to face the stairs that led to the lower deck.

Stede felt momentary relief, but it disappeared when Ed next spoke.

“Make him walk the plank, instead.”

Stede cried out, “Ed, you can’t mean that. I’ve come back to you. I’ve spent weeks trying to find you.”

Ed’s eyes roved over Stede’s body from head to feet. No warmth radiated from him.

“You heard me, Izzy,” Ed said, downcast.

A groan went up from the crew who stood behind Stede.

“Prepare the gangplank,” called Izzy.

“Ed! You can’t mean to kill me,” Stede begged. “We need to talk.” He felt the beads of sweat gather on his brow. They grew like raindrops waiting to fall.

Ed gave Stede little more than a cursory glance before turning to descend the stairs to the captain’s quarters.

Stede’s shoulders fell. It may have been one of his worst ideas ever to confront Ed on the deck of the Revenge when he didn’t fully understand the state in which his own misguided departure had left him. He took a step to follow Ed, but he met the point of Izzy’s blade.

“Come on, Fang,” Izzy shouted as Fang and Ivan secured a plank to the headrail.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Stede tried to instil some sense into the first mate. “I need to talk to him.”

No one heard the scrape of a blade being drawn. In the blink of an eye, a knife pressed against the wrinkled skin of Izzy’s throat.

Oluwande gasped.

Stede barely recognized what had happened. But it wasn’t Stede’s knife that held Izzy at bay.

The knifepoint pressed, drawing a drop of blood from Izzy’s neck. The handle of the knife, deftly manoeuvred by Jim, bore the Jimenez family name.

“Let him go to Blackbeard,” Jim insisted with a voice as sharp as the knife they wielded.

“This doesn’t concern you,” Izzy ground out.

“Vamos! Go to him,” Jim said, nodding to Stede. “Consider this my thanks for returning Oluwande to the Revenge.”

Izzy sucked in a breath, trying to put distance between Jim’s blade and his flesh.

“This fucker isn’t going to ruin any more lives,” Jim growled. “He’d enjoy it too much.”

With Izzy and his sword disabled, Stede shouted a quick thanks to Jim and rushed toward the captain’s quarters. He tried to muster as much confidence as he could, relying on the crew to keep Izzy off his heels.

“Ed?” Stede called out, throwing open the door that now hung on warped hinges.

Only silence greeted Stede. He stepped into the captain’s quarters that he formerly called home.

The dank scent of old ash assaulted Stede’s senses. The fireplace had not been lit in some time. Across the room, a single candle burned low. The chandeliers had been torn from the ceiling.

For a moment, Stede recalled that the crew had told him what to expect. He knew that his belongings had been destroyed, the books from his library and furnishings tossed into the sea, but the sheer barrenness of his former cabin set Stede’s teeth on edge.

“I’d like to talk with you,” Stede called out into the dim room.

In the quiet, the Revenge gently rode the waves. The lapping curls of the sea caressed its boards.

Stede’s heart ached with sorrow that Ed had fallen into such a destructive state. He had read enough romance novels to understand that he had made some poor decisions with regard to Ed. The worst of it was not recognizing that he had been in love with Ed in the first place, when he had the opportunity to do something about it. He remembered Mary’s words when she described to him what it felt like to be in love.

Stupid, stupid man, Stede hadn’t realized…

His name is Ed…

“I’m sorry, Ed,” Stede whispered, hoping that Ed would listen to him. “A lot has happened since I saw you last.”

If Stede listened carefully, he could hear Ed’s breath amidst the wreckage of the captain’s quarters.

“I wish you wouldn’t condemn me to death,” Stede called out hopefully. “Even if I probably deserve it.”

A soft sob floated from the corner of the room, where Ed’s shadow lingered.

“Ed?” Stede called, straining to listen for a better indication of Ed’s location, and hoping to avoid a run-in with Ed’s blade. “I’ve made some mistakes.”

Stede’s father’s words echoed his worthlessness… a weak-hearted, lily-livered little rich boy… that’s all he would ever be.

“I know you’re here,” Stede said as softly as he could manage. “Will you please speak with me.”

“Ed’s not here,” Ed sobbed. “You left him on a dock to die.”

Stede cocked his head toward the sound of Ed’s voice, a pitiful whine like that of an injured animal. He stepped cautiously across the squeaking floorboards that had lost their lustre in the days since Stede had commissioned them to be polished.

A shadow moved in the darkness as Ed spoke, “Leave me…”

“Leave me again,” hung in the air, unspoken.

Even if Ed wanted Stede dead, dropping from the plank into the sea, with only the sharks and the gulls to pick at his bloated remains, Stede still loved Ed, all the same. The desire to hold him, to comfort him, overwhelmed Stede’s senses and made his fingers twitch with longing.

“I don’t expect you’ll let me live,” Stede said with a nod, his voice a quaver. “But no matter how much pain you find yourself in, I’m sorry if I’ve somehow been the cause of it.”

No response came from the corner of the cabin. The fading sunlight made the room darken more as the seconds passed.

Stede never expected someone like Ed to care for him. Or to love someone like him.

And yet Ed did, once, apparently.

But that ship had sailed.

Invisible beyond the horizon.

Stede ground the heels of his palms into his eyes to stop his tears. He had never imagined what it was like to be in love and now that he could grasp the feeling of loving someone so entirely, he wished it wouldn’t hurt so badly. He was drained. Empty. And Ed didn’t even know that Stede loved him. Nor that he had ever loved him.

If Stede didn’t tell Ed now, he might never get another chance.

Stede swallowed and gathered his wits. “I love you, Edward,” he said, his voice taking on a tone of emotion that he did not recognize. “I need you to know that. I’ve loved you all along, but I’d been too stupid to realize it.”

Only silence filled the cavernous space that had once been decorated with vibrant colours, priceless art, and precious souvenirs from all over the world.

Stede stepped forward. His eyes had adjusted to the darkness enough that he could make out Ed’s hunched frame hidden in the shadows.

“I love you, Ed,” Stede said. He had never uttered anything more fervently and yet he knew that it may not make any difference to Ed at all.

Ed’s voice wafted from the corner, “Ed’s gone,” he said, and then more resolutely, “I am the Kraken.”

Stede steeled himself and took another step forward. He berated himself for entering the volatile cabin with not so much as a penknife in his pocket. But from what Stede knew of Ed’s reputation, if Ed wanted to kill him with his bare hands, Stede would have willingly submitted to his rage.

“To me, you’ll always be Ed,” Stede said, remembering when the daunting pirate first introduced himself as Stede lay helpless as a kitten in his sickbed.

“Ed’s gone,” Ed said. The rustle of his leather clothing scraped against the wooden wall as he slid to the floor. “You killed him. Only the Kraken is here now.”

“Ed?” Stede whispered, an apology for whatever insult he had dealt to make Ed make such an awful accusation.

“No,” Ed growled. “I’m the Kraken.”

Stede shuddered at the anger in Ed’s voice, but he persevered and pressed forward. In the darkness, he could smell the leather of Ed’s clothing and Ed’s rum-laced breath crossing the divide between them.

“You’re the Kraken,” Stede said in agreement. “Then I love the Kraken, as well as I love Ed.”

Stede let his hand fall to the right front pocket of his breeches. He slipped his hand inside and felt for the handkerchief he had stashed there.

“You don’t love Ed,” Ed sobbed. “You left Ed alone to wait for you all night on that dock.”

Stede gasped quietly. “It’s a bit more complicated than that, I’m afraid,” he said, since so much more had happened to him after Ed had left him in his bunk at the Privateering Academy.

“I wish I never met you, Stede Bonnet.”

“You can’t mean that,” Stede said. “You need to know that after you left me in my bunk, Chauncey came to retrieve me. He had a gun.”

Ed looked up from where he sat slumped in the corner. His hands clutched at the fabric that spread over his lap. Stede recognised it as his favourite old dressing gown, the pink one with the birds of paradise. So Ed hadn’t disposed of everything that reminded him of Stede after all.

“Chauncey was drunk. He led me into the jungle, intent on killing me. He told me that I defiled beautiful things. His brother, my family… he said I defiled even you that I brought the dread pirate Blackbeard to ruin,” Stede said.

Ed turned his face away, but Stede fell to his knees beside him, close enough to touch.

Stede remembered the moment in the jungle well. He knew he didn’t deserve the devotion that Ed so willingly offered that night on the beach. A life together on the high seas. A future in China. Ed would have been better off without Stede.

The idea to run back to Bridgetown was just one more stupid one in Stede’s long life of stupid ideas.

Lily-livered little rich boy…

“You may have heard the gunshot,” Stede continued. “Chauncey tripped in his drunkenness. I don’t know exactly how it happened, but he lay dead at my feet.”

The Revenge yawned as it moved through the water, floating on the tide.

Ed snorted. “For a Gentleman Pirate, you’ve killed two English officers? And those are only the ones I know about. Who would have imagined?”

Emboldened by Ed’s words, Stede continued, skimming one knee forward along the floor. “I knew the authorities would come to see what had transpired. I panicked, I did the only thing I could think to do… I ran.”

“You ran back to your old life? Back to your family?” Ed asked, his voice returning to the hurt quality that tugged at Stede’s heart and beckoned him to comfort Ed.

“I tried to return to my old life, my old home, my old family, I’m sorry to admit. But it should come as no surprise to you that I didn’t fit there anymore. They’ve made lives of their own. Everyone was so much happier with me gone. I worked to settle things, with Mary, and with my children,” Stede said.

Ed let out a huff of doubt.

“And I’m really dead now,” Stede said brightening. “With Mary’s help, I faked my own death so my family could be free of me. It was quite the fuckery, if I do say so myself.”

Ed grunted, a bit of curiosity in his tone.

“I couldn’t wait to tell you about it. There was a jungle cat who pretended to attack me and a carriage struck me and a piano fell on top of my fake corpse,” Stede said. The fuckery sounded preposterous to his own ears, although he had been instrumental in its planning. “I did it so I could come back to you. Unattached, with no other future than the one I want to have with you, if you’ll let me be a part of your life again.”

The space between Stede and Ed shrank as Stede spoke. He listened to Ed’s breathing, watched Ed’s shoulders shake as he began to sob.

From within his pocket, Stede drew the scrap of red silk. He had woken one morning in the dinghy to see it floating on the waves. His sleep had been filled with dreams of the Ed he knew, the Ed who had kissed him on the beach-not the murderous pirate from whom his crew sought revenge for marooning them. Stede had nearly flipped the crew out of the small boat as he reached for the red silk, a memory of happier times when he admired that Ed wore fine things well. He had reached for it, unwilling to lose it as he feared he surely must have lost Ed by now. He had hoped for the chance to reunite the scrap of cloth with its rightful owner.

Ed caught a glimpse of the fabric as Stede held it out to him. He shuffled backwards, his eyes a story of pain. “The Kraken has no use for such dross,” he said.

“Perhaps the Kraken doesn’t,” Stede said, “but maybe Ed does?”

“I’ve already told you-”

“You’re the Kraken. I know,” Stede said, agreeing because Ed was more Kraken than man in his current state, but Stede knew him to be so much more than that.

The soft glow of a full moon rose above the water beyond the windows that lined the captain’s quarters. It cast a golden light through the remaining panes of glass and created a portal between the dim room and the world outside.

“And you’re Blackbeard,” Stede said gently, “whose heart I once held in my hands.”

Ed sniffled, but he did not move to get away.

“You’re Jeff the accountant, for all I care,” Stede said, pressing the crumpled cloth against Ed’s tear-stained cheek.

A whisper of a sob escaped Ed’s lips.

“And I know that Ed is in there, waiting to be loved again,” Stede whispered as he gently wiped Ed’s tears.

“He’s not,” Ed said with a tremble.

“You’re Ed,” Stede said, tenderly stroking Ed’s cheeks, his nose, his eyes.

“Maybe,” Ed gasped.

Stede set the cloth aside and pressed his forehead to Ed’s. He cradled his face in his hands and breathed in his air. “My Ed is still in there,” he said, their lips nearly touching.

“He’s not,” Ed sobbed. “You killed him. You left him alone on that dock to die.”

“No,” Stede whispered. “My Ed is still in here.” Stede pressed his hand to his own chest.

As if by some miracle, a corner of Ed’s lip turned up.

“And he’s in here,” Stede said, resting his palm against Ed’s chest, where his heart beat as fast as a hummingbird’s wings.

Ed’s eyes turned warm in the moonlight. His hands which once clutched uselessly at the dressing gown reached to clasp at Stede’s forearms.

Stede cocked his head and whispered, “There he is.”

Ed let out a gasp.

A vast relief washed over Stede as he brought his lips closer to Ed’s. Before they could touch, he murmured, “I can see him.”