Compliments...
This is writing related as much as it's related to real life and everyday venturing into the foray of social interaction. But have you really thought about it? Yes, you, the phantom you that might someday be sitting on the other side of this thing we call the internet, hooked up and hard wired to your computer whatever it may be, and just happen to read this. (Honestly, it's because it's easier to write rhetorical questions to a person. So helo phantom person, I'm Gwyddelig. How do you do?)
When we interact it's a given that, somewhere along the line, someone might say something complimentary to you. I hate that. Why? Certainly not because I dislike having my ego stroked. No, I very much enjoy getting that pat on the back for something I've put a bit of myself into (even if it's my hair that day, or a shirt I chose because I loved the picture on it). We all do, and anyone who says differently is lying (our egos are there to be stroked, just don't get a fat head over it). No, my hatred of compliments comes solely from the fact that I am very awkward when it comes to responding to them. I've been known to brush them off ("Oh it's nothing really, but thank you just the same."), which makes the other person feel like their compliment is unappreciated or you're being unbecomingly modest (it can and does happen) or you're digging more; or I've even managed to side step them ("You look good." "I wish I felt good."), which we call 'steering the conversation' and can come off as arrogant.
But personal comments aside, what about simple complimentary feedback on writing? When someone is kind enough to spend a moment to type something as simple as 'lovely' in response to a work (thank you again, complicat ), how is the best way to respond? A simple 'thank you' feels cold and mechanical (sorry, complicat ), but what more should you say? There is little indication of a proper or desired response -- and social manners dictate that you should respond -- but with what? Obviously, as my (notations) have indicated, complicat dropped me a quick "lovely" and left it at that. I was at a loss. I wanted to say more than the obligatory "thank you", but I couldn't fathom what else to say. "Thank you for reading" felt stilted. "Thank you very much" was overzealous. "Thanks for the compliment" was just plain arrogant or snarky. So I simply went with "thank you" and gave up.
There in lies the bane of compliments: coming off too modest can seem like a brush off or can make it look like you're digging for more compliments, side stepping can make you look arrogant, and a simple "thank you" can come off as mechanical and cold. What do you do when words fail you?
Just a little food for thought.
When we interact it's a given that, somewhere along the line, someone might say something complimentary to you. I hate that. Why? Certainly not because I dislike having my ego stroked. No, I very much enjoy getting that pat on the back for something I've put a bit of myself into (even if it's my hair that day, or a shirt I chose because I loved the picture on it). We all do, and anyone who says differently is lying (our egos are there to be stroked, just don't get a fat head over it). No, my hatred of compliments comes solely from the fact that I am very awkward when it comes to responding to them. I've been known to brush them off ("Oh it's nothing really, but thank you just the same."), which makes the other person feel like their compliment is unappreciated or you're being unbecomingly modest (it can and does happen) or you're digging more; or I've even managed to side step them ("You look good." "I wish I felt good."), which we call 'steering the conversation' and can come off as arrogant.
But personal comments aside, what about simple complimentary feedback on writing? When someone is kind enough to spend a moment to type something as simple as 'lovely' in response to a work (thank you again, complicat ), how is the best way to respond? A simple 'thank you' feels cold and mechanical (sorry, complicat ), but what more should you say? There is little indication of a proper or desired response -- and social manners dictate that you should respond -- but with what? Obviously, as my (notations) have indicated, complicat dropped me a quick "lovely" and left it at that. I was at a loss. I wanted to say more than the obligatory "thank you", but I couldn't fathom what else to say. "Thank you for reading" felt stilted. "Thank you very much" was overzealous. "Thanks for the compliment" was just plain arrogant or snarky. So I simply went with "thank you" and gave up.
There in lies the bane of compliments: coming off too modest can seem like a brush off or can make it look like you're digging for more compliments, side stepping can make you look arrogant, and a simple "thank you" can come off as mechanical and cold. What do you do when words fail you?
Just a little food for thought.