(no subject)

[gwoka]

 It worries me. It worries me how someone's environment can completely determine who they are.  And I'm positive it's happened to me. But I hope it's left me with more good than harm.. I mean.. despite *that* which I shall not mention. I know that isnt the right path and I know I chose it myself and that it's sinful.  But at the same time it feels right, like I need to discover it to understand myself.  But what if someone has been so pressured into accepting that something existed that they believe it is good?  I mean.. there's LOTS in the world that I don't agree with, or believe is right but accept that other people feel differently and that I might be wrong. But I don't have the wisdom to discern that.  So I can't outright say whether it's good or bad.  It's like Sir Thomas More.  He felt that divorce was against Gods law.  But he didn't judge King Henry who decided that divorce wasn't a sin. He saw that as Henry's understanding of God and didn't judge.  But Henry wasn't content with that. Henry wanted to be told that he was right.  But More couldn't give Henry that.  Because More isn't God any more than anyone else is, and so how are we to know what exactly is right and wrong? And maybe what's right for one person isn't for another. All we can do is rely on what we feel God calls us to do, and how God calls us to behave.

I believe the Bible has probably been corrupted over time.  And so I take it at face value and leave the rest up to Gods work in my heart.

And maybe through Beach Mission and Andrew and my own experiences I've learnt this.  And maybe that makes all the bitterness left behind from some times in my life worthwhile.  I just don't understand how my life and faith has been sustained while others' crumble.  Why so many of my friends can't feel the God force in their lives while I do so strongly some days.

I just don't understand! And I don't know if I ever will have the wisdom to.