(no subject)
wooo! february 15th! happy day after valentine's day! woooo! fuck...fuck fuck. yeah. just....*sigh* the flower was a nice gesture. really was. but...i don't want pity. i just want an actual valentine's. and shit. i was fine until i got the fucking flower. my mom and sister were so excited but the second i saw the hand writing i knew it was nothing special. well...i mean thanks and everything but, it made me feel worse. like i was being taken pity upon. my sister got chocolate all day and my mom got canyd probably flowers. whatever. fuck. the day is gone. the flowers being paraded in front of me on the streets it's gone. that's it. just let me mope. just let me remember how fucking pathetic i am forthat one day. because those suprises make me feel like nothign's going to happen. that...i'm always going to get a gift because i'mnever going to get anyone. i dunno. it doesn't make sense. but it's over. so happy fucking valentien's day everyone. if you were with a significant other then i'm happy for you. i hope you took advantage of being with them. i hope you showed them how much you cared, because that what i feel like valentien's day is about. because i want that magic to still be there depsite what others think. the day has passed. 19 years without a valentine's. i wonder how long i can keep the streak going.