So Lonely!!
I am so lonely. I really took advantage of being able to see anyone I wanted at practically any time I wanted. I miss everyone so bad!! Will someone visit me, or take me away from this hell hole that is the Sacramento area. At least I have Kate here and I took advantage of that last night. It sucks that she lives a bit far though, but at least she is close enough for me to visit her. All of the girls need to go visit each other. I think I will just start out one day, driving. I will go pick up Kate first. Then I will travel over to Oakland, or Berkeley, or where ever the heck Rebecca lives, grab that chick, and drive on down to Long Beach. I would pick up Phoebe, and then start going back up north. Maybe stop in Yosemite and camp, then keep going until I get to Canada! Road Trip!!!!!! I think this sounds like a fantastic plan. I miss everyone so much. Even people I never really talked to. I miss so many people. I hate this feeling. People, you have got to talk to me. Though, I really don't think people are going to get this message...sigh. The only thing that makes me really happy about this place is that my dog is here. I can now give her all my love so that she knows that I haven't forgotten her. I would love for her to go with me to Humboldt. She would really love it there.
I should go live on the street. I think it would be a much better thing for me to do. I cannot stand living here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't think I can stress that enough!!!! I am sorry that this is so whinny. I just have to suck it up. Life could be so much worse than this. SOOOOO MUCH WORSE!!!! I am being so pessimistic. I have really got to stop. I need to just get out and do stuff for myself. I am a big girl, I will do what is the best for life!!!!! PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TRANQUILITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol. I just need to laugh and think of all the things that I am lucky to have. I need to go take walks at night and God, I can't believe that I am about to say this, but I could really use a cigarette! Oh no!!!! I said it!!! AHHHHH!!!!! No! I will just say that I need to smoke pot or drink or something. GWEN NOOOOO!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! You don't smoke.
Ok............I am better now..........it is these kind of conversations with myself that I always picture those little angel and devil minitures of me sitting on my shoulder. Then I realize how weird that is. It makes me realize how weird I really am. I love being weird!! It gives you freedom not to care if you look or sound stupid.
Here is somehting that has been plaguing me. What should I do with my art major. Some ideas are: go into 2D or 3D animation, open up a shop and try to sell art work, become an Elementary school teacher, or something. If you have any ideas, please let me know. I have no direction with life right now and it kills me all the time. I want to do something significant and worthwhile with life. I was kind of leaning toward Elementary school teacher lately, but I really worry about finances. I guess I would be ok with living frugaly. If I do that though, I will really have to learn how to spell. I really suck at that. I think that I would do a good job at that though. I really like children and as I always say, I can't wait to be finacially stable and old enough to have children. Uh, not to mention having a guy too...that always makes that kind of stuff easier. It always boggles my mind that there are so many young married couples today. They aren't even old enought to drink on their wedding night. I tell people that if they find someone that they want to marry to at least wait until they are 21, you have to be able to legally drink on your wedding night. Speaking of age...only 14 days until my birthday!!!!! Yeah!!!! I will no longer be a teen!! I will be 20. That means that only one more year until I am 21!!!!! Woohoo!!! But anyway, this is all off topic. I was talking about careers. Please...someone! Tell me what I should do with life!! I am far too indecisive for this kind of question.
How is it that I always manage to write novels when I sit down to write in this. But the conclusion to this novel is that I am so lonely and confused. I need a life form to talk to me!!! I need liberal people!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Look I am reduced to begging!!!!
I should go live on the street. I think it would be a much better thing for me to do. I cannot stand living here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't think I can stress that enough!!!! I am sorry that this is so whinny. I just have to suck it up. Life could be so much worse than this. SOOOOO MUCH WORSE!!!! I am being so pessimistic. I have really got to stop. I need to just get out and do stuff for myself. I am a big girl, I will do what is the best for life!!!!! PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TRANQUILITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol. I just need to laugh and think of all the things that I am lucky to have. I need to go take walks at night and God, I can't believe that I am about to say this, but I could really use a cigarette! Oh no!!!! I said it!!! AHHHHH!!!!! No! I will just say that I need to smoke pot or drink or something. GWEN NOOOOO!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! You don't smoke.
Ok............I am better now..........it is these kind of conversations with myself that I always picture those little angel and devil minitures of me sitting on my shoulder. Then I realize how weird that is. It makes me realize how weird I really am. I love being weird!! It gives you freedom not to care if you look or sound stupid.
Here is somehting that has been plaguing me. What should I do with my art major. Some ideas are: go into 2D or 3D animation, open up a shop and try to sell art work, become an Elementary school teacher, or something. If you have any ideas, please let me know. I have no direction with life right now and it kills me all the time. I want to do something significant and worthwhile with life. I was kind of leaning toward Elementary school teacher lately, but I really worry about finances. I guess I would be ok with living frugaly. If I do that though, I will really have to learn how to spell. I really suck at that. I think that I would do a good job at that though. I really like children and as I always say, I can't wait to be finacially stable and old enough to have children. Uh, not to mention having a guy too...that always makes that kind of stuff easier. It always boggles my mind that there are so many young married couples today. They aren't even old enought to drink on their wedding night. I tell people that if they find someone that they want to marry to at least wait until they are 21, you have to be able to legally drink on your wedding night. Speaking of age...only 14 days until my birthday!!!!! Yeah!!!! I will no longer be a teen!! I will be 20. That means that only one more year until I am 21!!!!! Woohoo!!! But anyway, this is all off topic. I was talking about careers. Please...someone! Tell me what I should do with life!! I am far too indecisive for this kind of question.
How is it that I always manage to write novels when I sit down to write in this. But the conclusion to this novel is that I am so lonely and confused. I need a life form to talk to me!!! I need liberal people!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Look I am reduced to begging!!!!