Been a while...
I haven't updated this in a long time, but I felt it was time as so much has changed for us. It is now May and the babies are coming at the end of the month (if I can hold them in that long.) I went from worrying about length of the cervix to finding out the babies are "momos" or monoamniotic. They share a placenta and an amniotic sac and have NO dividing membrane. To put it bluntly, very rare and very dangerous. I have three times a week Non Stress Tests and twice a week ultrasounds. And the girls will be delivered at 32 weeks. (My due date has been adjusted. Now I hit 29 weeks Saturday. I was originally hitting 30 weeks this past Tuesday, but also I was set back.) I'm paranoid all the time about the girls in there, getting tangled or compressing one another's cord. The statistics used to put momos at a 50/50 chance of survival. I almost hope my doc admits me tomorrow because I will have some piece of mind with daily monitoring and being AT the hospital should something go wrong. But so far there has been no talk of that. (I've visited the monoamniotic.org web site and every time I go they constantly say "inpatient monitoring began at 24 weeks or 28 weeks* and I'm really frightened that I'm still at home, not monitored everyday, and live 45 minutes from the hospital on a GOOD day.)
Once the girls are born, we can expect about a 4-week stay in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Albany Medical Center. We visited the unit and the doc was wonderful and full of information. He showed us the unit, but didn't seem inclined to let us see the 24-weeker on a ventilator. I didn't really mind, I think it would have scared me.
I don't have an update on the girls' sizes, but I'm hoping they are nearing or surpassed 3 pounds. I'm still leery about the delivery. I dont' have a choice, it's defnitely a c-section because of the risks of the cord tangles. (There ARE tangles in the cord, we've already seen them, but they only become a problem when they get tight and cut off supply.)
I'm kind of mixed emotions right now. I want the girls to stay in as long as possible to get the benefits of the womb, but I want them OUT as soon as possible too because I hate the constant fear that someone will get a compression and I could lose one or both of them.
Let me tell you, it is the single most difficult time I have ever encountered in my entire life and I'm really trying to cope and pray and hope, but it is very very hard for me to handle.
Follow the cut for the MIL rant:
Okay, I'm going NUTS about my mother-in-law. I've never been very comfortable showing any "flesh" to anyone, besides my husband. And when you have ultrasounds and NSTs, they have you pull those pants down below the hips and expose to just under the bra. Well, his mother INSISTS on going to EVERY ultrasound and I'm REALLY uncomfortable and hate it and want it to stop. She's waited 30 years for grandkids -- WAIT ANOTHER FUCKING MONTH AND SEE THEM WHEN THEY'RE OUT. I'm not even kidding here, I can't TAKE it anymore. I have enough stress I don't need this.
I've told my mother I want everyone to know, NO ONE but her, ERic and I at the hospital the day the girls are born. My mother, because I"m petrified and need her, Eric, because he's the FATHER and me, cuse I'm the one having the girls. No one else needs to be there while I recovr and I'll be DAMNED if someone like the MIL sees my babies before IIIIII do. No fucking way. I don't want anyone there until the NEXT DAY. I want 24 hours to recover a little, maybe get a little walking down, and SEE MY BABIES. ANd I want Eric and I to have some time to see them together ALONE and kind of acclimate ourselves to the situation and get out the emotions I know I'm going to have seeing such little, fragile premature babies that are ours.
The MIL is already talking about going to the hospital when they are being delivered and I don't WANT IT. I should have some say, shouldn't I? I don't want her there until the next day. My own father won't be. I just need my mother to cope with my surgical fears. (Eric doesn't depend emotionally on his mother and if she tries to play that card I'll shoot someone.) AND, I know she wouldn't be there for me. She only gives a hoot about her grandkids. AND being preemies and not full term, they are going to be better off if they aren't BOMBARDED with strange things hovering over them immediately. Is it too much to ask that just ME and ERIC be the first to be there and touch and see them? I don't think so.
All right, that's enough, before I work myself into a frenzy!
-Kate
Once the girls are born, we can expect about a 4-week stay in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Albany Medical Center. We visited the unit and the doc was wonderful and full of information. He showed us the unit, but didn't seem inclined to let us see the 24-weeker on a ventilator. I didn't really mind, I think it would have scared me.
I don't have an update on the girls' sizes, but I'm hoping they are nearing or surpassed 3 pounds. I'm still leery about the delivery. I dont' have a choice, it's defnitely a c-section because of the risks of the cord tangles. (There ARE tangles in the cord, we've already seen them, but they only become a problem when they get tight and cut off supply.)
I'm kind of mixed emotions right now. I want the girls to stay in as long as possible to get the benefits of the womb, but I want them OUT as soon as possible too because I hate the constant fear that someone will get a compression and I could lose one or both of them.
Let me tell you, it is the single most difficult time I have ever encountered in my entire life and I'm really trying to cope and pray and hope, but it is very very hard for me to handle.
Follow the cut for the MIL rant:
Okay, I'm going NUTS about my mother-in-law. I've never been very comfortable showing any "flesh" to anyone, besides my husband. And when you have ultrasounds and NSTs, they have you pull those pants down below the hips and expose to just under the bra. Well, his mother INSISTS on going to EVERY ultrasound and I'm REALLY uncomfortable and hate it and want it to stop. She's waited 30 years for grandkids -- WAIT ANOTHER FUCKING MONTH AND SEE THEM WHEN THEY'RE OUT. I'm not even kidding here, I can't TAKE it anymore. I have enough stress I don't need this.
I've told my mother I want everyone to know, NO ONE but her, ERic and I at the hospital the day the girls are born. My mother, because I"m petrified and need her, Eric, because he's the FATHER and me, cuse I'm the one having the girls. No one else needs to be there while I recovr and I'll be DAMNED if someone like the MIL sees my babies before IIIIII do. No fucking way. I don't want anyone there until the NEXT DAY. I want 24 hours to recover a little, maybe get a little walking down, and SEE MY BABIES. ANd I want Eric and I to have some time to see them together ALONE and kind of acclimate ourselves to the situation and get out the emotions I know I'm going to have seeing such little, fragile premature babies that are ours.
The MIL is already talking about going to the hospital when they are being delivered and I don't WANT IT. I should have some say, shouldn't I? I don't want her there until the next day. My own father won't be. I just need my mother to cope with my surgical fears. (Eric doesn't depend emotionally on his mother and if she tries to play that card I'll shoot someone.) AND, I know she wouldn't be there for me. She only gives a hoot about her grandkids. AND being preemies and not full term, they are going to be better off if they aren't BOMBARDED with strange things hovering over them immediately. Is it too much to ask that just ME and ERIC be the first to be there and touch and see them? I don't think so.
All right, that's enough, before I work myself into a frenzy!
-Kate