Children of the Kelvin 1/2- Star Trek 2009 fic
Title: Children of the Kelvin 1/2
Author:
gwenn_b
Summary: Attending to the yearly ceremonies to observe the USS Kelvin was a personal tradition to Jim Kirk, and he knows his life wasn’t the only one forever changed by that tragedy.
Genre: Gen, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
Word Count: 2,890 - wow, never wrote something so long before!
Rate: PG
Author's Notes: This not beta-ed, so feel free to point at any errors you find.
Disclaimer: I own nothing or no one. Kirk’s been following me around by his own will, I’m not forcing him into anything.
-
Jim knew by heart the name of all of those who died during the attack on the USS Kelvin. He’d been to every single one of the yearly ceremonies held at the Starfleet Head Quarters in San Francisco to observe the tragedy. Being the offspring of one of the heroes of that battle meant he and Sam had a special place at the front row, where they could see everything - and be seen by everyone. His mother was never present for those ceremonies; in fact, she was never on Earth during that time of the year, and Jim knew even from an early age that it was no coincidence. His grandfather Tiberius, though, always showed up to take the boys to San Francisco. He believed it was their duty to honor their fallen hero father.
-
By the time he was six, all the children Jim and Sam had seen during those ceremonies were already teenagers, so it called Jim’s attention when he saw a girl maybe a little older than him sitting in the front row reserved for the families of the lost crew. She sat beside an old bald man, and Jim couldn’t help but keep glancing at her during the whole ceremony. She had long straight dark hair, and her dark eyes seemed lost as they tried to follow what was going on around them, as if she couldn’t understand why she was there. Jim briefly wondered if that’s what he looked like during those rites. He never really understood why it was so important for people to remind him year after year of his pain and of the things he’d lost before he even had a chance to have them.
Once the service was over, Jim’s grandfather took Sam by the hand and went to talk with some old acquaintances, and Jim took the chance to walk around on his own. He scanned the place looking for the girl, and found her sitting alone at the same spot, staring into nothing. Slowly, Jim made his way towards the girl and sat beside her. She didn’t say or do anything for a while, and they just sat there in companionable silence until she finally turned her face to look at him. When her dark eyes met his blue ones, Jim felt like oddly staring into a mirror of his own emotions. Not knowing what else to do, he blinked and introduced himself.
“My name is James Tiberius Kirk.”
She nodded and said “I’m Anissa Kerry Robau.”
She broke eye contact with him and turned to stare ahead again. Jim followed her gaze and let his mind wonder as he blankly stared into the Starfleet Logo. She didn’t say anything else. And Jim knew she didn’t have to.
-
It became a yearly routine for Jim. After every observance, he would look for Anissa, and they would sit together. At first, they didn’t talk much but, with time, Jim figured out she was the one person who wouldn’t look at him as the orphan son of the hero Lieutenant George Kirk - because she hated when people referred to her as the poor daughter of the brave Captain Robau.
-
When he was nine, she was the one who broke the silence, but it was so quietly Jim almost missed it.
“Do you celebrate your birthday?”
“No.”
She accepted his answer and remained silent for a moment. Then she added even quieter than the first time.
“Would you like to?”
He looked at her genuinely surprised. Nobody had ever asked him that before. Jim stared into her dark eyes for a moment, as if trying to find his answer there, and then finally sighed.
“Nah…”
She raised an interested eyebrow at him. “Why not?”
He shrugged, trying to put into words something he’d felt his entire life, but got nothing.
“It wouldn’t feel right, I guess…”
She nodded in understanding, and they sat in silence for the rest of the evening. But when it was time for her to go, she did give him a quick kiss on the cheek and winked at him.
“I heard my dad used to say that hope is born from despair. Maybe you’re it.”
-
“I hate that”. Jim said to her one day when he was twelve. She looked puzzled at him.
“What part, exactly?”
“I hate that you and I are never going to be just you and I. We’ll always be their children first.”
She nodded and looked ahead. “Yeah, I know. It’s not fair.”
Jim remained silent for a moment, then turned to her and asked.
“Do you think about him?”
She shook her head. “No…” She closed her eyes and sighed. “But… I think about the Kelvin.”
“Why?” Jim tilted his head and stared at her with a raised eyebrow, but she remained with her eyes closed.
“I don’t know… And that hurts. Nobody knows who or why…”
Jim nodded and silently reached out to squeeze her hand. Nightmares were scarier when you couldn’t see their faces.
-
At the age of sixteen, with his grandfather dead, his brother gone, his mother off-planet and his stepfather not giving a damn, Jim decided to go from Iowa to San Francisco on his own bike. When he arrived to the great hall, the ceremony was already over, and Anissa was sitting alone in her usual spot. She was staring into the Starfleet logo, and didn’t seem to notice when Jim sat beside her. He rested an arm behind her chair and raised a playful eyebrow at her, whispering to her ear.
“Waiting for me?”
Blinking, she smiled and turned to face him. “What can I say, I’m a sucker for tradition!”
Jim tried to give her a genuine smile, but winced when his swollen cut lip started bleeding again. Anissa reached out a hand to touch his lip, and raised an eyebrow at him.
“Is that why you’re late?”
Had it been anyone else, Jim would have flinched at those words and tried to put some distance between them. But he knew her tone was purely curious and not judgmental. He’d learned not long ago that Anissa had her own self-destructive side to deal with. He smiled openly and winked at her. She gave a small laugh and shook her head, patting her hand on his knee.
“That’s my boy.”
-
When Jim was 18, he found Anissa wearing a Starfleet Academy uniform during the observance. After the ceremony, he sat beside her and asked her quietly.
“Are you doing it for him or for yourself?”
“I don’t know.”
Jim raised an eyebrow at her, and she gave him a sad smile before looking down.
“It sucks, doesn’t it?”
Jim smiled at her gently and nodded, passing an arm around her shoulder and bringing her closer so she could rest her head on his shoulder. He wasn’t sure how deeply his dead father influenced his actions either.
“Yeah, it sucks.”
-
Jim was twenty-one the first time he saw Anissa crying during the observance, and it took all the self-control he didn’t have not to rush to her side in the middle of the ceremony. Once it was over, he was with her in no time, taking her by the hand and leading her outside. They found a quiet spot under a tree in the gardens, and Jim held her to him, whispering soothing nonsense to her hair and running a gentle hand up and down her back as she sobbed on his shoulder. It was all he could do at the moment, and that made Jim feel useless. Anissa had always been strong in her way to deal with all the emotional baggage those ceremonials carried to them, and even though they’d only seen each other under those circumstances, Jim was sure he could say he knew her better than most, like she knew him in ways no one else did. They confided in each other with things they knew no one else would understand - they were, after all, the only orphan children of the USS Kelvin. Sam, like the rest of the children of the fallen crew, had spent enough time around their father to actually remember him. But Jim had been born in the middle of that tragedy, and Anissa had never met her father either. Captain Robau had been off-planet when she was born, and he hadn’t made to her first birthday as he had promised. She had been fourteen months old when the Kelvin was attacked.
When Anissa’s sobs grew quieter, Jim thought she had fallen asleep, but she gently untangled herself from his embrace, putting just enough distance between them so she could see his face, but never completely breaking contact. Jim gave her a supportive smile, but didn’t say anything. He watched as her eyes scanned his face, most likely looking for any signs of pity, something he knew she hated to see in people’s eyes when they talked to the poor daughter of the brave Captain Robau. Finding none of that in Jim’s blue eyes, she sighed and allowed her body to relax into his arms again. Her voice was quiet, but steady.
“Do you think about what your life would have been if your father was alive?”
Jim closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Yeah, every day. You?”
She sighed against his chest. “I don’t like to, but it’s hard to avoid it here in the Academy…”
She straightened herself out and sat beside him, her eyes staring off into space. Jim kept a hand on her back, absently drawing random patterns with his fingers as he tried to offer her some comfort. When she spoke again, her voice was shallow, and Jim could almost touch her pain.
“I am who I am because he’s dead. I do my best to be the best so I can stand on my own, away from his shadow… If he was alive, I wouldn’t have to try to escape from his legacy… If he was alive…” She swallowed hard, and Jim knew what was coming. “If he was alive, I wouldn’t be this good, I’d probably not even bother trying…”
She closed her eyes and Jim could see she was trying to fight back the tears. He placed a hand around her shoulder and brought her closer to him again, holding her tight to himself. Jim knew he was down on a dangerous road in his search for himself, so it was easy for him to think he would give up his shitty life to have his father back if he had a chance. He had absolutely no doubt his life would have been a million times better if his father had survived. Anissa on the other hand, had had a tough but decent life, and the path she had chosen to dissociate her image from her father’s had actually led her to great accomplishments. But he knew that, just like him, she would give it all up in a heartbeat to have him by her side.
“If your father was alive, you’d make him proud because you would love him as much as you do.”
She relaxed a bit in his arms, and Jim took comfort in hoping those words were true for him as well.
-
In Jim’s first year at the Academy, Bones had offered to keep him company during the ceremony, but Jim had dismissed him with a smile and a lame excuse. He wasn’t ready to have these two sides of his life mixed just yet. It was hard enough having everyone at the Academy wondering about George Kirk’s son, he didn’t need his friend to see him actually playing that role. Besides, he knew he had someone waiting for him.
As usual, Anissa remained in her seat after the end of the ceremony. She wore her ceremonial Lieutenant uniform, and Jim was sorry she’d graduated as a diplomatic officer a couple of days before he’d enlisted. He’d have enjoyed being there for her - thinking about it, he would have loved even more if he had been her classmate. It would have been interesting being around her other than in those ceremonials.
She noticed him as he made his way towards her, and he could see a hint of pride flashing in her dark eyes as she took in the sight of him in a Starfleet Cadet uniform. He stopped in front of her and gave her a short salute.
“Lieutenant.”
She stood up and straightened her face, trying to hide her smile.
“Cadet.” She winked at him, and Jim opened his arms to receive her in his embrace. She rested her head on his shoulder and let out a content sigh.
“They’re proud of us, right?”
Jim closed his eyes and kissed the top of her head. He wouldn’t admit it out loud to anyone else, but ever since he joined Starfleet, everything he did was to honor his father.
“Yeah, they are.”
-
It was quiet and dark on the bridge of the Enterprise. The ship had been badly damaged in the battle against the Narada, and it was now being fixed in a space dock on Earth’s orbit. The crew of the Enterprise was on a deserved shore leave until the ship was ready to see action again, so only few of them could be seen around her corridors. Jim was sitting alone in the bridge, staring off into space as he tried one more time to make sense of everything that had happened recently. He had defeated the man who had killed his father and destroyed Vulcan, and now he was the captain of the Starfleet flag ship. It was a lot to take in. He heard the turbolift door opening and turned to see Anissa quietly entering the bridge.
“Lieutenant Anissa K. Robau asking permission to come aboard, sir.”
He smiled tiredly at her. “Permission granted, Lieutenant.”
She stared at him intently, and for the first time in all the years they had known each other, Jim was having a hard time reading her dark eyes. After what seemed like an eternity, she broke her gaze and stared off into the view window.
“I received your message…”
Jim closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had sent her a copy of his report to Starfleet, with all the details of what had happened and the relation between the destruction of Vulcan and the attack on the USS Kelvin. He knew most of it would never become public knowledge, but he figured Anissa had as much right to know the truth as he did.
“Are you alright?”
She raised an eyebrow at his question and gave a small laugh that came out almost like a sob.
“Are you?”
He couldn’t help the small smile that formed on his lips. “Point.”
Sighing, Jim pressed a couple of buttons on the console of his chair, and a recording of Nero’s last threats started playing on the screen of the bridge. He kept his eyes trained on Anissa as she watched the recording, but again he couldn’t read her. When it was over, her voice was almost a whisper.
“Is that him?” She turned around so she was fully facing Jim. “Is that the man who killed my father and destroyed the Kelvin and Vulcan?”
Jim nodded and she closed her eyes. He could see her body starting to tremble and thought about going to her, but he knew this was something she had to do on her own. She knew he was there if she needed, anyways. She took a deep breath to control herself, and looked at the face on the screen again.
“I’ve always thought it would be easier if I had a face to blame…”
“But it isn’t, is it?” Jim’s voice was as low as hers, and she closed her eyes.
“No, it isn’t… Does it make it easier for you knowing you’re the one who defeated him?”
Jim shook his head tiredly and pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, that doesn’t help either… But at least now we know.”
“Yeah, now we do…” She locked eyes with him and Jim finally understood why he couldn’t read her tonight. He couldn’t really understand what he himself was feeling, and all he could see in her eyes was a mirror of his own emotions, as it had been the first time his blue eyes stared into those dark ones. He broke eye contact with her and looked at Nero’s face on screen. Millions of what if scenarios were playing in his head, and none of them could ever be because of that particularly troubled Romulan. He was so lost in his thoughts he only noticed Anissa had covered the distance between them when she touched his hand. Without looking at her, he swirled her around and brought her to his embrace. As usual, she didn’t resist him, taking as much comfort from him as she could, and returning it with all the intensity she was able to muster.
“Do you think now we can find some peace?”
Jim closed his eyes and pondered her words. Some peace would be good, and God only knew how much they deserved it. Kissing the top of her head, Jim squeezed her a little tighter.
“I hope so.”
Children of the Kelvin - part 2
.
Author:
gwenn_b
Summary: Attending to the yearly ceremonies to observe the USS Kelvin was a personal tradition to Jim Kirk, and he knows his life wasn’t the only one forever changed by that tragedy.
Genre: Gen, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
Word Count: 2,890 - wow, never wrote something so long before!
Rate: PG
Author's Notes: This not beta-ed, so feel free to point at any errors you find.
Disclaimer: I own nothing or no one. Kirk’s been following me around by his own will, I’m not forcing him into anything.
-
Jim knew by heart the name of all of those who died during the attack on the USS Kelvin. He’d been to every single one of the yearly ceremonies held at the Starfleet Head Quarters in San Francisco to observe the tragedy. Being the offspring of one of the heroes of that battle meant he and Sam had a special place at the front row, where they could see everything - and be seen by everyone. His mother was never present for those ceremonies; in fact, she was never on Earth during that time of the year, and Jim knew even from an early age that it was no coincidence. His grandfather Tiberius, though, always showed up to take the boys to San Francisco. He believed it was their duty to honor their fallen hero father.
-
By the time he was six, all the children Jim and Sam had seen during those ceremonies were already teenagers, so it called Jim’s attention when he saw a girl maybe a little older than him sitting in the front row reserved for the families of the lost crew. She sat beside an old bald man, and Jim couldn’t help but keep glancing at her during the whole ceremony. She had long straight dark hair, and her dark eyes seemed lost as they tried to follow what was going on around them, as if she couldn’t understand why she was there. Jim briefly wondered if that’s what he looked like during those rites. He never really understood why it was so important for people to remind him year after year of his pain and of the things he’d lost before he even had a chance to have them.
Once the service was over, Jim’s grandfather took Sam by the hand and went to talk with some old acquaintances, and Jim took the chance to walk around on his own. He scanned the place looking for the girl, and found her sitting alone at the same spot, staring into nothing. Slowly, Jim made his way towards the girl and sat beside her. She didn’t say or do anything for a while, and they just sat there in companionable silence until she finally turned her face to look at him. When her dark eyes met his blue ones, Jim felt like oddly staring into a mirror of his own emotions. Not knowing what else to do, he blinked and introduced himself.
“My name is James Tiberius Kirk.”
She nodded and said “I’m Anissa Kerry Robau.”
She broke eye contact with him and turned to stare ahead again. Jim followed her gaze and let his mind wonder as he blankly stared into the Starfleet Logo. She didn’t say anything else. And Jim knew she didn’t have to.
-
It became a yearly routine for Jim. After every observance, he would look for Anissa, and they would sit together. At first, they didn’t talk much but, with time, Jim figured out she was the one person who wouldn’t look at him as the orphan son of the hero Lieutenant George Kirk - because she hated when people referred to her as the poor daughter of the brave Captain Robau.
-
When he was nine, she was the one who broke the silence, but it was so quietly Jim almost missed it.
“Do you celebrate your birthday?”
“No.”
She accepted his answer and remained silent for a moment. Then she added even quieter than the first time.
“Would you like to?”
He looked at her genuinely surprised. Nobody had ever asked him that before. Jim stared into her dark eyes for a moment, as if trying to find his answer there, and then finally sighed.
“Nah…”
She raised an interested eyebrow at him. “Why not?”
He shrugged, trying to put into words something he’d felt his entire life, but got nothing.
“It wouldn’t feel right, I guess…”
She nodded in understanding, and they sat in silence for the rest of the evening. But when it was time for her to go, she did give him a quick kiss on the cheek and winked at him.
“I heard my dad used to say that hope is born from despair. Maybe you’re it.”
-
“I hate that”. Jim said to her one day when he was twelve. She looked puzzled at him.
“What part, exactly?”
“I hate that you and I are never going to be just you and I. We’ll always be their children first.”
She nodded and looked ahead. “Yeah, I know. It’s not fair.”
Jim remained silent for a moment, then turned to her and asked.
“Do you think about him?”
She shook her head. “No…” She closed her eyes and sighed. “But… I think about the Kelvin.”
“Why?” Jim tilted his head and stared at her with a raised eyebrow, but she remained with her eyes closed.
“I don’t know… And that hurts. Nobody knows who or why…”
Jim nodded and silently reached out to squeeze her hand. Nightmares were scarier when you couldn’t see their faces.
-
At the age of sixteen, with his grandfather dead, his brother gone, his mother off-planet and his stepfather not giving a damn, Jim decided to go from Iowa to San Francisco on his own bike. When he arrived to the great hall, the ceremony was already over, and Anissa was sitting alone in her usual spot. She was staring into the Starfleet logo, and didn’t seem to notice when Jim sat beside her. He rested an arm behind her chair and raised a playful eyebrow at her, whispering to her ear.
“Waiting for me?”
Blinking, she smiled and turned to face him. “What can I say, I’m a sucker for tradition!”
Jim tried to give her a genuine smile, but winced when his swollen cut lip started bleeding again. Anissa reached out a hand to touch his lip, and raised an eyebrow at him.
“Is that why you’re late?”
Had it been anyone else, Jim would have flinched at those words and tried to put some distance between them. But he knew her tone was purely curious and not judgmental. He’d learned not long ago that Anissa had her own self-destructive side to deal with. He smiled openly and winked at her. She gave a small laugh and shook her head, patting her hand on his knee.
“That’s my boy.”
-
When Jim was 18, he found Anissa wearing a Starfleet Academy uniform during the observance. After the ceremony, he sat beside her and asked her quietly.
“Are you doing it for him or for yourself?”
“I don’t know.”
Jim raised an eyebrow at her, and she gave him a sad smile before looking down.
“It sucks, doesn’t it?”
Jim smiled at her gently and nodded, passing an arm around her shoulder and bringing her closer so she could rest her head on his shoulder. He wasn’t sure how deeply his dead father influenced his actions either.
“Yeah, it sucks.”
-
Jim was twenty-one the first time he saw Anissa crying during the observance, and it took all the self-control he didn’t have not to rush to her side in the middle of the ceremony. Once it was over, he was with her in no time, taking her by the hand and leading her outside. They found a quiet spot under a tree in the gardens, and Jim held her to him, whispering soothing nonsense to her hair and running a gentle hand up and down her back as she sobbed on his shoulder. It was all he could do at the moment, and that made Jim feel useless. Anissa had always been strong in her way to deal with all the emotional baggage those ceremonials carried to them, and even though they’d only seen each other under those circumstances, Jim was sure he could say he knew her better than most, like she knew him in ways no one else did. They confided in each other with things they knew no one else would understand - they were, after all, the only orphan children of the USS Kelvin. Sam, like the rest of the children of the fallen crew, had spent enough time around their father to actually remember him. But Jim had been born in the middle of that tragedy, and Anissa had never met her father either. Captain Robau had been off-planet when she was born, and he hadn’t made to her first birthday as he had promised. She had been fourteen months old when the Kelvin was attacked.
When Anissa’s sobs grew quieter, Jim thought she had fallen asleep, but she gently untangled herself from his embrace, putting just enough distance between them so she could see his face, but never completely breaking contact. Jim gave her a supportive smile, but didn’t say anything. He watched as her eyes scanned his face, most likely looking for any signs of pity, something he knew she hated to see in people’s eyes when they talked to the poor daughter of the brave Captain Robau. Finding none of that in Jim’s blue eyes, she sighed and allowed her body to relax into his arms again. Her voice was quiet, but steady.
“Do you think about what your life would have been if your father was alive?”
Jim closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Yeah, every day. You?”
She sighed against his chest. “I don’t like to, but it’s hard to avoid it here in the Academy…”
She straightened herself out and sat beside him, her eyes staring off into space. Jim kept a hand on her back, absently drawing random patterns with his fingers as he tried to offer her some comfort. When she spoke again, her voice was shallow, and Jim could almost touch her pain.
“I am who I am because he’s dead. I do my best to be the best so I can stand on my own, away from his shadow… If he was alive, I wouldn’t have to try to escape from his legacy… If he was alive…” She swallowed hard, and Jim knew what was coming. “If he was alive, I wouldn’t be this good, I’d probably not even bother trying…”
She closed her eyes and Jim could see she was trying to fight back the tears. He placed a hand around her shoulder and brought her closer to him again, holding her tight to himself. Jim knew he was down on a dangerous road in his search for himself, so it was easy for him to think he would give up his shitty life to have his father back if he had a chance. He had absolutely no doubt his life would have been a million times better if his father had survived. Anissa on the other hand, had had a tough but decent life, and the path she had chosen to dissociate her image from her father’s had actually led her to great accomplishments. But he knew that, just like him, she would give it all up in a heartbeat to have him by her side.
“If your father was alive, you’d make him proud because you would love him as much as you do.”
She relaxed a bit in his arms, and Jim took comfort in hoping those words were true for him as well.
-
In Jim’s first year at the Academy, Bones had offered to keep him company during the ceremony, but Jim had dismissed him with a smile and a lame excuse. He wasn’t ready to have these two sides of his life mixed just yet. It was hard enough having everyone at the Academy wondering about George Kirk’s son, he didn’t need his friend to see him actually playing that role. Besides, he knew he had someone waiting for him.
As usual, Anissa remained in her seat after the end of the ceremony. She wore her ceremonial Lieutenant uniform, and Jim was sorry she’d graduated as a diplomatic officer a couple of days before he’d enlisted. He’d have enjoyed being there for her - thinking about it, he would have loved even more if he had been her classmate. It would have been interesting being around her other than in those ceremonials.
She noticed him as he made his way towards her, and he could see a hint of pride flashing in her dark eyes as she took in the sight of him in a Starfleet Cadet uniform. He stopped in front of her and gave her a short salute.
“Lieutenant.”
She stood up and straightened her face, trying to hide her smile.
“Cadet.” She winked at him, and Jim opened his arms to receive her in his embrace. She rested her head on his shoulder and let out a content sigh.
“They’re proud of us, right?”
Jim closed his eyes and kissed the top of her head. He wouldn’t admit it out loud to anyone else, but ever since he joined Starfleet, everything he did was to honor his father.
“Yeah, they are.”
-
It was quiet and dark on the bridge of the Enterprise. The ship had been badly damaged in the battle against the Narada, and it was now being fixed in a space dock on Earth’s orbit. The crew of the Enterprise was on a deserved shore leave until the ship was ready to see action again, so only few of them could be seen around her corridors. Jim was sitting alone in the bridge, staring off into space as he tried one more time to make sense of everything that had happened recently. He had defeated the man who had killed his father and destroyed Vulcan, and now he was the captain of the Starfleet flag ship. It was a lot to take in. He heard the turbolift door opening and turned to see Anissa quietly entering the bridge.
“Lieutenant Anissa K. Robau asking permission to come aboard, sir.”
He smiled tiredly at her. “Permission granted, Lieutenant.”
She stared at him intently, and for the first time in all the years they had known each other, Jim was having a hard time reading her dark eyes. After what seemed like an eternity, she broke her gaze and stared off into the view window.
“I received your message…”
Jim closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had sent her a copy of his report to Starfleet, with all the details of what had happened and the relation between the destruction of Vulcan and the attack on the USS Kelvin. He knew most of it would never become public knowledge, but he figured Anissa had as much right to know the truth as he did.
“Are you alright?”
She raised an eyebrow at his question and gave a small laugh that came out almost like a sob.
“Are you?”
He couldn’t help the small smile that formed on his lips. “Point.”
Sighing, Jim pressed a couple of buttons on the console of his chair, and a recording of Nero’s last threats started playing on the screen of the bridge. He kept his eyes trained on Anissa as she watched the recording, but again he couldn’t read her. When it was over, her voice was almost a whisper.
“Is that him?” She turned around so she was fully facing Jim. “Is that the man who killed my father and destroyed the Kelvin and Vulcan?”
Jim nodded and she closed her eyes. He could see her body starting to tremble and thought about going to her, but he knew this was something she had to do on her own. She knew he was there if she needed, anyways. She took a deep breath to control herself, and looked at the face on the screen again.
“I’ve always thought it would be easier if I had a face to blame…”
“But it isn’t, is it?” Jim’s voice was as low as hers, and she closed her eyes.
“No, it isn’t… Does it make it easier for you knowing you’re the one who defeated him?”
Jim shook his head tiredly and pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, that doesn’t help either… But at least now we know.”
“Yeah, now we do…” She locked eyes with him and Jim finally understood why he couldn’t read her tonight. He couldn’t really understand what he himself was feeling, and all he could see in her eyes was a mirror of his own emotions, as it had been the first time his blue eyes stared into those dark ones. He broke eye contact with her and looked at Nero’s face on screen. Millions of what if scenarios were playing in his head, and none of them could ever be because of that particularly troubled Romulan. He was so lost in his thoughts he only noticed Anissa had covered the distance between them when she touched his hand. Without looking at her, he swirled her around and brought her to his embrace. As usual, she didn’t resist him, taking as much comfort from him as she could, and returning it with all the intensity she was able to muster.
“Do you think now we can find some peace?”
Jim closed his eyes and pondered her words. Some peace would be good, and God only knew how much they deserved it. Kissing the top of her head, Jim squeezed her a little tighter.
“I hope so.”
Children of the Kelvin - part 2
.