Fic: Look After You
Title: Look After You
Genre: Romance
Characters & Pairings: Morgana/Gwen, mentions of Arthur/Merlin
Rating: R for mentions of death and violence.
Spoilers: nope
Disclaimer: I don’t own BBC’s Merlin.
Summary: When Camelot comes under threat Morgana goes to war, coming home injured and finally victorious. Each time she returns Gwen is there, waiting, but when Morgana comes home for the final time she has made a decision that will change their lives forever.
Notes: Comments are very much appreciated ♥
“I’m fine.”
Morgana protested half-heartedly as two of Uther’s knights laid her, wriggling, onto the bed. Her hand was clasped about her middle, holding the blood-soaked cotton bandages in place, breathing heavily. Sweat dampened her skin and the few strands of hair that had fallen from the band holding it back during battle were caught to her face, dark against her pale too complexion.
“What happened?” Gwen asked, panicked she rushed into the room and past the knights.
“She has a sword wound to the abdomen.” The taller of the two knights said. “Arthur sent her back.”
“It’s a cut.” Morgana insisted. “I was barely touched, I just reacted too slowly.”
Gwen gave her a stern look, trying to mask her worry with annoyance at having to patch Morgana up once again. “Thank you, we’ll be fine now.” She turned to the knights and nodded as they turned to leave. When the door shut behind them she sighed deeply, knowing she could chastise Morgana openly now for being such a fool. “You shouldn’t have gone to away again.” Gwen said. “You weren’t fully recovered.”
“We are at war, Gwen. I’m fighting for Camelot’s freedom.”
It was what Uther said when he had sent Morgana and Arthur away to fight. Morgana had argued tirelessly with Uther until her had agreed to let her ride out to the battlefield with Arthur and his knights. This was the third time that she had been unable to ride home and the tenth time she had returned home for fleeting periods when the ferocity of the battle dulled and the nobles were sent home to recuperate and find people to bury the dead. The first time she had been brought home on the cart with the wounded knights she was suffering from burns to her arm and shoulder from a flaming arrow, Gwen had nursed her for a week, bathing the burn in a tonic from Gaius so frequently it had left no scar. The second time, Morgana had ripped a muscle in the back of her leg, leaving her unable to walk; Gwen had massaged it twice daily to aid the two pieces of muscle to reattach, Morgana now walked without a limp.
“Let me see.” Gwen said, moving to remove the bandage. Morgana squirmed sway. “Let me see.” Gwen said, her voice firmer.
Morgana huffed like a child, heavily dropping her arms to her side. She winced as Gwen peeled back the once white fabric, jerking as it pulled at her wound. “How bad is it?” She asked through lidded eyes, not liking Gwen’s silence.
“It’s not too deep but it will leave a scar unless we can get gooseberry from the east before the wound closes. Gaius may have some aloe vera, a paste with milk may reduce scarring but it will have to be rubbed in many times a day.” Gwen’s face was creased in concentration, not taking her eyes off the wound.
“How long before I can go back?” Morgana lifted her head to better look at Gwen.
“Months.” Gwen said. “Maybe longer if you don’t rest.”
“The war will be over by then.” Morgana said, annoyed, though not at Gwen.
“I know.” Gwen said simply and Morgana could swear she saw a smile flicker across Gwen’s face.
..............................................................
Six months passed and Gwen was once more on the outskirts of Camelot awaiting the return of Camelot’s bravest warriors though this time they were returning victorious. The war had still been raging when Morgana had recovered and Camelot’s only female fighter set off for war again, taking with her the latest noble men who had come of age since the last time Arthur returned home. Two months after watching Morgana ride away Camelot won the war, defeating the invading army. Merlin buzzed at her side, moving constantly in his effort to contain his excitement. Gwen knew that he and Arthur had grown... closer over the past 2 years and she was as happy for him as she would be to see Morgana ride up the hill towards them. She knew that she would have to dull her excitement, she was only Morgana’s maid after all and the last thing that Morgana needed right now was the inconvenience of Gwen’s inappropriate feelings.
“There they are!” Merlin shouted as the first horses came into view. Arthur was at the helm, glittering gold in the midday sun, Morgana’s more silvery form riding next to him. They each carried a banner with Camelot’s emblem, blowing in the warm wind, signalling their victory. Arthur stuck the banner in the ground like a flag and Morgana repeated his action, smiling at Arthur and urging her horse on. She galloped past him in a burst of speed, laughing and daring him to ride after her.
Gwen barely had time to think before Morgana pulled up before her, dismounted smoothly and wrapped her in a bone crushing hug. She returned the hug with equal ferocity, crumpling the other woman’s clothes in her tightened fists and pressing them together. It hadn’t been something she had expected but Morgana was even more impromptu when she was dressed for war, as if being freed of her dresses allowed her to behave as she wished.
“I missed you.” Morgana breathed into her ear, pulling back at the thump of Arthur hitting the ground beside her.
“I was supposed to lead the knights back.” Arthur said irritably, his and Merlin’s gender preventing them from an equal show of emotion.
“Morgana!” Uther boomed.
“I’m in trouble now.” Morgana laughed pushing Arthur before running off to Uther with a smirk on her face. “It was worth it though!” she called back and Arthur couldn’t help but smile.
..............................................................
She sat in the fading light, nothing to do but wait for Morgana to get back from her scolding from Uther. Morgana was an impetuous young woman and had gotten herself into almost constant trouble since she had arrived at Camelot all those years before. Somewhere between then and now Gwen had fallen completely and hopelessly in love with Morgana. Her heart beat wildly when she saw her; her hands trembled every time they touched, however fleeting it might be.
Gwen stood quickly when the she heard the door open. “My lady.” She bowed her head in respect.
She didn’t hear Morgana cross the room towards her but there she was, inches from her, hand beneath her chin tilting it back up. “Subservience is wrong on you.” Morgana said by way of greeting. “You looked like a queen waiting for us to come home to you.”
“I’m no queen.” Gwen shook her head as if pained by the thought.
“Is your unimportance so ingrained in you that it hurts you when I say that?” Morgana asked, brushing a strand of hair from Gwen’s face.
Gwen moved back as if burned by Morgana’s touch. “I know my place.”
“Your place is wherever you wish it to be.” Morgana said. “Freedom is what I was fighting for.”
“I am in your service, my lady. My place is to look after you.” Gwen’s eyes were to the floor.
“When I was at war the comforts of this castle seemed like a different world. I saw things that I will never be able to forget, done things I shouldn’t be allowed to forget, but through it all I knew that I could make it though. I knew that what I was doing was worth it because I was fighting for Camelot, I was fighting for you. The thought of you being forced to serve their ruthless king... I couldn’t bear it.” Morgana once again forced Gwen to look at her. “It was nothing like Ealdor, there was blood everywhere, our own men dying at my feet and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I ached for you Gwen; ached in a way I know I shouldn’t but you were what got me though. You were my salvation. When I saw you standing there waiting for us I thought my heart was going to break out of my chest. I had finally made you safe and seeing you made it all worth it.”
“Morgana...” Gwen took a step back.
“I’m not forcing you into anything.” Morgana assured her. “But war changes you, it reminds you of how fragile life is and even if there is only the slightest chance you have to take that chance on whom you love.”
Gwen was breathing heavily. “I couldn’t stand it when you were gone.”
Morgana let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding and closed the distance between them. She knew that Gwen’s words were as close as the maid would get to admitting her feelings, submissive as she was. A moan sounded in the silence of the eve, shaking and desperate as it left Gwen’s heaving chest, caught by Morgana’s mouth before it could reach the air. Lips slid over lips, trailed over jaw and plunged down a taught neck, returning back up to delve into the long forbidden depths, gentle in their exploration. Small steps soon took them to the bed, Morgana tumbling backwards, pulling Gwen on top of her. She would teach Gwen that there was more to life than being subservient.
Later that night when Gwen was trailing down Morgana’s stomach she paused where the bright pink scar had once been, finding that there was no scar there at all. Morgana was flawless, a white lily Gwen was happy to tend.