My "Get Rich Quick" Scheme
So here is my plan to get rich 'quick'. Because really how much better would life be with tons of cash money!?
So first off i join a rock band, like a NJ big hair bar band. (Jersey folk, you know what I’m sayin'!) Then we become really big, big like we play Giant’s stadium (like Guns N Roses Paradise City video). Then I would have to bang every groupie that comes back stage (not that i want to, its just part of the plan). At the same time drink bottles of whiskey, like whole bottles (just like Slash).
Then after a few months, i start doing drugs, but i ain’t takin' stackers's ladies, i mean the real-deal hollyfield shite, like heroin in eye lids. Then all of a sudden, rock 'n' roll becomes "cheesy" again, and our band drops off the scene, like Cinderella(you know you miss that band).
I still do the heroin, but now i start doing porno, like good porn, not this Jenna Jameson shit, i talkin good ol' midget bangin'. They would call me the "Midget Marauder" (insert 'dom,dom,DOMMMMM!).
But then the heroin kills my ability to get a boner, and i would get fired from my midget porn world (its ok i'll be strong). After that my second wife would have left me with all 3 kids, all because of the boner problem (you know, that’s all girls think about). But then after being alone for 10 months i am completely broke (because the new coke habit) and alone (because of the boner thing).
So I decide to write a book. It sells pretty well, but not well like "Everybody Poops" well, but good. So here is when my master plan kicks in...I get enough money to buy a mask and a really big gun, big like Tackle Berry style (stay with me here). Then I go and rob a bank. BOOM!!! NOW I'm RICH! and I’m talking like Michael Jackson - Never Never Land rich. HAHAHAHAHAHA!
So first off i join a rock band, like a NJ big hair bar band. (Jersey folk, you know what I’m sayin'!) Then we become really big, big like we play Giant’s stadium (like Guns N Roses Paradise City video). Then I would have to bang every groupie that comes back stage (not that i want to, its just part of the plan). At the same time drink bottles of whiskey, like whole bottles (just like Slash).
Then after a few months, i start doing drugs, but i ain’t takin' stackers's ladies, i mean the real-deal hollyfield shite, like heroin in eye lids. Then all of a sudden, rock 'n' roll becomes "cheesy" again, and our band drops off the scene, like Cinderella(you know you miss that band).
I still do the heroin, but now i start doing porno, like good porn, not this Jenna Jameson shit, i talkin good ol' midget bangin'. They would call me the "Midget Marauder" (insert 'dom,dom,DOMMMMM!).
But then the heroin kills my ability to get a boner, and i would get fired from my midget porn world (its ok i'll be strong). After that my second wife would have left me with all 3 kids, all because of the boner problem (you know, that’s all girls think about). But then after being alone for 10 months i am completely broke (because the new coke habit) and alone (because of the boner thing).
So I decide to write a book. It sells pretty well, but not well like "Everybody Poops" well, but good. So here is when my master plan kicks in...I get enough money to buy a mask and a really big gun, big like Tackle Berry style (stay with me here). Then I go and rob a bank. BOOM!!! NOW I'm RICH! and I’m talking like Michael Jackson - Never Never Land rich. HAHAHAHAHAHA!