Pete
With everything that's going on in my life, the Pete situation shouldn't seem nearly as important as it is (or seems to be).
I miss my GTECH girls and all of our talks - they had some good insights and didn't mind me talking about Pete as they all talked about their actual significant others. I don't have a good sounding wall so just keep tossing things around in my head and trying to figure them out (which is not going well).
A few weeks ago as I was leaving Pete's, he said to me You can stay if you want to. I made a comment back to him along the lines of, not that it matters to you one way or the other and this ended up turning into a 3 hour discussion / tiff. I told him that he says it that way all the time and it sounds like he's saying it's my choice and he's just being polite and offering if I want to. He said this isn't the case but that he feels he doesn't have a right to ask me to stay since we're not dating. Throughout the night we covered many topics including my flirting with his brother, Mike, last summer (which he is clearly still very upset about even though nothing happened and he never seems to be upset about it - I mean, he's sleeping with me... how can he be upset about this still and sleeping with me?). I decided at that point that even though Pete seems ok with things he clearly isn't and I needed to just stop sleeping with him because it's confusing to me. Well, that plan didn't work so well.
I just don't know how to interpret things and sometimes he'll be all super affectionate and other times he just doesn't seem to want to/be able to. Now, we're still not dating and with this non-status it is very difficult to really know what's going on. Any DTR (define this relationship) talk that we've had has ended in the same conclusion - that we're not dating and there is no time schedule for when/if we ever may. I am unsuccessful at convincing myself to not worry about things that he does or doesn't do in regards to me (such as his level of affection).
The smart move would have been to abandon ship months ago (we started making out back in October putting us in this situation for 8.5 months). I have said that if somebody better comes along that I'll make the decision to move on at that point but I have turned down any offer in hopes that Pete and I will finally become official (stupid, girl-child fantasy). And I keep asking myself, what am I doing?! without any real answer.
I'm so ready to be with somebody that wants to be with me.
I miss my GTECH girls and all of our talks - they had some good insights and didn't mind me talking about Pete as they all talked about their actual significant others. I don't have a good sounding wall so just keep tossing things around in my head and trying to figure them out (which is not going well).
A few weeks ago as I was leaving Pete's, he said to me You can stay if you want to. I made a comment back to him along the lines of, not that it matters to you one way or the other and this ended up turning into a 3 hour discussion / tiff. I told him that he says it that way all the time and it sounds like he's saying it's my choice and he's just being polite and offering if I want to. He said this isn't the case but that he feels he doesn't have a right to ask me to stay since we're not dating. Throughout the night we covered many topics including my flirting with his brother, Mike, last summer (which he is clearly still very upset about even though nothing happened and he never seems to be upset about it - I mean, he's sleeping with me... how can he be upset about this still and sleeping with me?). I decided at that point that even though Pete seems ok with things he clearly isn't and I needed to just stop sleeping with him because it's confusing to me. Well, that plan didn't work so well.
I just don't know how to interpret things and sometimes he'll be all super affectionate and other times he just doesn't seem to want to/be able to. Now, we're still not dating and with this non-status it is very difficult to really know what's going on. Any DTR (define this relationship) talk that we've had has ended in the same conclusion - that we're not dating and there is no time schedule for when/if we ever may. I am unsuccessful at convincing myself to not worry about things that he does or doesn't do in regards to me (such as his level of affection).
The smart move would have been to abandon ship months ago (we started making out back in October putting us in this situation for 8.5 months). I have said that if somebody better comes along that I'll make the decision to move on at that point but I have turned down any offer in hopes that Pete and I will finally become official (stupid, girl-child fantasy). And I keep asking myself, what am I doing?! without any real answer.
I'm so ready to be with somebody that wants to be with me.