(no subject)
cagewench posted something today on her own personal moral and spiritual beliefs. Reading her post reminded me about my spiritual struggle. I was raised a Roman Catholic. I understood the ins and outs of my religion. Even though I was a Catholic my family barely attended Mass. I learned from my father and partly out of myself that I didn't and still don't need to be in a church to worship or be grateful for what I have. The person known as "God" is all around us.
Ever since I was a child I was very vocal about religion. By vocal I mean I questioned my faith and looked at it with an open mind.
As I went into high school I became even more aware of things I further question the belief system I was brought up in.
There was a time while I was in university where I became increasingly upset at the state of the Catholic church. I was also beginning to wonder about my worth and the reason I was even alive. I was never depressed just more and more aware that things were changing in my life and around me. I had questions, concerns,and problems in my life that the Catholic church as a belief system and an institution were not sufficient enough to answer my questions or make me feel at all better or comfortable about things. At this point I renounced my religion. I took of my crucifix and proclaimed that I would never enter a church again.
After some thought I realized that I believed in what Mr. Jesus had to say. He believed in loving one another and treating everyone equally. He believed in fate and karma. This guy is not the way the Catholic church portrays him. There is a lot about Jesus that has been censored and I became interested in finding out the other accounts of Jesus' life. I began to call myself a Christian because I only believed in Jesus as the person and disconnected him from his ties to the Catholic church. As cool as Mr. J was I still didn't find complete comfort in this because he was only one man. I believe in the stuff that he preached because they are simple things that anyone with morals would believe in.
After a while I began to feel empty. I had no belief system. I was alone in the world and I had nothing to fall back on spiritually. One day I realized as I looked out that nature was where I could find some solace. Nature is alive and constantly in motion. All I needed to do was look out into the world and feel the sun on my face. With this I would know that there exists something greater than me that is responsible for my existence and all that is around me.
This lasted up until my cousin was murdered. I was alone, yet again. Nothing could explain my cousins death. He was taken away from us and we would never see him again. I had lost faith in myself and in a god. What did I do? I went back to church. I went back to the one thing I believed was concrete, or some what concrete. The powers that be had taken him away and I needed an explanation. I found comfort in the fact that he was ok in heaven. Was he ok? What happened to him? Is he a ghost? I couldn't answer these questions so I let God do it.
This didn't work either because it wasn't God fault. There is no one big G. The powers that be (as cagewench puts it) had nothing to do with what happen to Fabian. It just happened. It can only be explained by looking at human nature. Some one had a problem with my cousin and decided to end his life, simple as that. This doesn't make it right, it just is.
I still have no spiritual model to look at. I just know in my heart what is right and what is wrong. I still feel a bit out of place when it comes to knowing where I stand spiritually. All I know is this: I am a human being, an animal, a soul, and I am part of a cycle. I am part of nature which works as a cycle. We are born, grow up, and we die. The seasons change much like our life process. Everything goes in a circle. What goes around comes around.
To make this more understandable and less like verbal nonsense I will make a list of what it is exactly I believe (I'm not trying to copy you cagewench you just had a good format and you really inspired me):
- I believe in Karma
-I believe in the power of each human being. We all have the strength and power to do whatever we want to do with our lives. Fate has nothing to do with it (more on Fate later). We were put on this earth with a full functioning brain. There is a reason for this and the reason is for us to make choices. We have the ability to make choices so make them. A single human being can change the world.
- I believe in synchronisity. Things happen for a reason. That reason is decided by nature and not really by us.
-I believe in good and evil. Both exist in this world. One can not function without the other. It is sad but necessary.
-I believe in nature and its power. This is why we must respect it and take care of it. Nature is the reason for why we are here so show some respect.
-I believe in fate up to a certain extent. Like I said, things happen for a reason. These things can't always be explained but once fate occurs you can change it if you want. Human beings have more power than they know.
- I believe in respect for others no matter their race, religion etc..
-I believe in the tolerence of other religions. They all have something to say and I think we should listen from time to time.
- I believe that something does exist out there that is greater than me. It can not be descirbed nor is it concrete. It exists within all of us and everything around us. There is no one god and no one place.
- I also believe that it is never too late to change something
- I believe in respect.
I am not trying to put any of my beliefs on anyone. I just wanted to get this off my chest because I've been srtuggleing with this for a really long time. Ever since I can remember I have had some sort of spiritual quest or questioning.
This whole post may be very confusing but I don't care. It all makes sense in my head and really that's all that matters. I just wanted to share with everyone how I was feeling on the subject of spirituality.
If anyone wants to challenge me or has any questions please feel free to ask away.
Ever since I was a child I was very vocal about religion. By vocal I mean I questioned my faith and looked at it with an open mind.
As I went into high school I became even more aware of things I further question the belief system I was brought up in.
There was a time while I was in university where I became increasingly upset at the state of the Catholic church. I was also beginning to wonder about my worth and the reason I was even alive. I was never depressed just more and more aware that things were changing in my life and around me. I had questions, concerns,and problems in my life that the Catholic church as a belief system and an institution were not sufficient enough to answer my questions or make me feel at all better or comfortable about things. At this point I renounced my religion. I took of my crucifix and proclaimed that I would never enter a church again.
After some thought I realized that I believed in what Mr. Jesus had to say. He believed in loving one another and treating everyone equally. He believed in fate and karma. This guy is not the way the Catholic church portrays him. There is a lot about Jesus that has been censored and I became interested in finding out the other accounts of Jesus' life. I began to call myself a Christian because I only believed in Jesus as the person and disconnected him from his ties to the Catholic church. As cool as Mr. J was I still didn't find complete comfort in this because he was only one man. I believe in the stuff that he preached because they are simple things that anyone with morals would believe in.
After a while I began to feel empty. I had no belief system. I was alone in the world and I had nothing to fall back on spiritually. One day I realized as I looked out that nature was where I could find some solace. Nature is alive and constantly in motion. All I needed to do was look out into the world and feel the sun on my face. With this I would know that there exists something greater than me that is responsible for my existence and all that is around me.
This lasted up until my cousin was murdered. I was alone, yet again. Nothing could explain my cousins death. He was taken away from us and we would never see him again. I had lost faith in myself and in a god. What did I do? I went back to church. I went back to the one thing I believed was concrete, or some what concrete. The powers that be had taken him away and I needed an explanation. I found comfort in the fact that he was ok in heaven. Was he ok? What happened to him? Is he a ghost? I couldn't answer these questions so I let God do it.
This didn't work either because it wasn't God fault. There is no one big G. The powers that be (as cagewench puts it) had nothing to do with what happen to Fabian. It just happened. It can only be explained by looking at human nature. Some one had a problem with my cousin and decided to end his life, simple as that. This doesn't make it right, it just is.
I still have no spiritual model to look at. I just know in my heart what is right and what is wrong. I still feel a bit out of place when it comes to knowing where I stand spiritually. All I know is this: I am a human being, an animal, a soul, and I am part of a cycle. I am part of nature which works as a cycle. We are born, grow up, and we die. The seasons change much like our life process. Everything goes in a circle. What goes around comes around.
To make this more understandable and less like verbal nonsense I will make a list of what it is exactly I believe (I'm not trying to copy you cagewench you just had a good format and you really inspired me):
- I believe in Karma
-I believe in the power of each human being. We all have the strength and power to do whatever we want to do with our lives. Fate has nothing to do with it (more on Fate later). We were put on this earth with a full functioning brain. There is a reason for this and the reason is for us to make choices. We have the ability to make choices so make them. A single human being can change the world.
- I believe in synchronisity. Things happen for a reason. That reason is decided by nature and not really by us.
-I believe in good and evil. Both exist in this world. One can not function without the other. It is sad but necessary.
-I believe in nature and its power. This is why we must respect it and take care of it. Nature is the reason for why we are here so show some respect.
-I believe in fate up to a certain extent. Like I said, things happen for a reason. These things can't always be explained but once fate occurs you can change it if you want. Human beings have more power than they know.
- I believe in respect for others no matter their race, religion etc..
-I believe in the tolerence of other religions. They all have something to say and I think we should listen from time to time.
- I believe that something does exist out there that is greater than me. It can not be descirbed nor is it concrete. It exists within all of us and everything around us. There is no one god and no one place.
- I also believe that it is never too late to change something
- I believe in respect.
I am not trying to put any of my beliefs on anyone. I just wanted to get this off my chest because I've been srtuggleing with this for a really long time. Ever since I can remember I have had some sort of spiritual quest or questioning.
This whole post may be very confusing but I don't care. It all makes sense in my head and really that's all that matters. I just wanted to share with everyone how I was feeling on the subject of spirituality.
If anyone wants to challenge me or has any questions please feel free to ask away.