(fic) Don't make me tell you the truth, Spn, Gen, G
(Omg guys, I wrote something!! For the first time in like...a year...and a half maybe even. I know, I'm in shock too! I feel really out of touch with my fic writing and characters cause I've been watching much more Doctor Who than Supernatural, so....critique if you wish. Mwuah! )
Title: Don't make me tell you the truth
Author: gwendolynd
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: G
Characters: Sam, Dean
Pairing: none
Summary: written for hoodie_time prompt: "Somehow it comes out that Dean really knows a ridiculous amount about distance learning. Sam’s all excited about the idea that Dean had “ambitions,” but it turns out that he’d been looking into it for Sam before he ran away and joined the freshman class at Stanford." ( here)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was the end of a hunt, a follow up that Dean usually insisted on for women he found particularly attractive. Hey, with all the grime and blood he dealt with day to day, he figured he was justified in an extra visit to check up on some eye candy before moving onto the next grueling hunt.
The problem was, that instead of spending the time flirting and soaking up her curves to remember for later, Dean found himself detailing information out to her on how she could continue her studies in business management without necessarily having to leave her daughter under someone else's care too often. Normally he wouldn't care, but considering the big bad of the week happened to have been the primary caregiver at the child care centre she had been sending little Tommy. Naturally, she'd be reluctant to have anyone else watch her child after the last person she trusted had been slowly drinking the bone marrow of children once they hit the ripe age of two.
Dean had thought nothing of giving her the advice, until his ever so observant little brother kept glancing at him out of the corner of his eye with a mild smirk. He knew asking what was up would earn him a likely lengthy conversation, so he did his best to ignore it. Sometimes Sammy's little fixations disappeared after a state line or two, if he waited him out long enough, he'd forget, if only temporarily.
It was six states later and Dean couldn't stand avoiding the quirk of his brother's mouth in the mirror anymore. One of those times that you try your best to ignore it, but the more you try, the more obvious it becomes.
"Well spit it out already!" he practically snapped.
Sam grinned, "You had plans."
Plans? What the hell did that mean? "Yeah Sammy, I had plans. Find the SOB, salt and burn it. That's usually our plan..."
Sam shook his head, swatting Dean's hand away from the radio knobs--his usual defense for avoiding conversations. "No, not for the hunt Dean, for you. You had plans. I heard you talking to Jenna, telling her what she could do."
"You've lost me," Dean lied. He had an idea of what Sam meant, and what it would mean to Sam, and it was wrong. All wrong, and he wasn't sure he could explain that, not with that beaming look on his jerky little brother's face. He smacked Sam's hand and turned the radio up.
Sam kept grinning and sat back, smug looking, but he'd dropped it. For now.
-----------------
Dean had hopes that it had been the end of it, that brief non-conversation along the road at night. Hopes that Sam wouldn't pry deeper. Keep his delusion, stop him from getting hurt again.
Sam left it alone for exactly fourteen hours and twenty eight minutes.
"Drop it, Sammy," Dean warned, hoping to escape conversation again.
"Oh, come on Dean! Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped you apply to some schools and--"
Dean shut his mouth and half grunted, his hands tightening on the wheel as they flew down the highway.
---------------
It was another hour before Sam burst into it again. "Dean, I'm serious, this is huge. I can't believe you never told me!"
The light in his eyes killed Dean. He knew Sam wasn't angry, that he was genuinely excited at the thought of Dean getting out of hunting. It was what Sam had always wanted and insisted could happen...and of course it could happen if Dean wanted it too. Dean knew Sam too well to think anything else was going on here. Sam suddenly had info given to him that opened a door down the tunnel this life pushed you into. With that light, with Dean, Sam was grasping onto a way out. He'd been looking for a while. Dean could almost see the dream of a clean and pristine kitchen and wobbling toddler in the front yard reflecting in Sam's eyes.
"What did you find out about schooling? I only caught a portion of what you told Jenna."
He could deal with that, it wasn't a direct question, so he could deploy appropriate answers. He tried of make the least amount of a deal about it, so he shrugged. "Some universities offer distance programs where you complete a course or two at a time, in your own time, to work towards your diploma or certificate. Generally they send books to you, but you can request the list and get the from local libraries usually."
Dean wanted to pet her steering wheel and kiss it as the Impala's fuel light flashed empty just as they approached a town, so he was able to cut the conversation short.
-----------
It took more than Dean thought it would to get Sam to lay off. He kept on, weeks later. It was killing him and he wanted to shout at his to shut up already, but he knew the hurt look that would cross Sam's face if he did. But he also knew the look that he would get if Dean explained that he hadn't been looking into school for himself. No, Sam was too excited at pondering what Dean would have looked into studying. The worst was that Dean could see what Sam saw. He knew that Sam was imagining them studying together, even if Sam didn't need to know whatever it was. He knew Sam was seeing Dean running up those tacky stage steps in a ridiculous dress and hat to claim some paper that would give him the opportunities to do so much more than hunt. To get paid. He knew Sam was seeing it as Dean getting out of the life, and himself following shortly after.
He knew because he'd dreamed all those things for Sammy before he'd run away to go to Stanford. He knew Dad and Sam fought about it all the time, that Sam wanted to know more. He always had a mind like that, always searching for new information to store away in his brain library. He knew Dad wouldn't let Sam go to school any longer than he needed to for a hunt, that Dad prioritized hunting above everything else. So Dean had planned and figured a way for Sam to study what he wanted while they traveled. Distance programs were wondrous things. Libraries had most books, and tests were online, or proctored by an official--and Sam could charm anyone into watching him take a test.
What Dean hadn't counted on, was Sam getting so pissed that he would actually take off on his own, run away to school of all things.
----------------
Sam wasn't on his case as much anymore, but there was a definite air around him that hadn't been there before, a cheeriness. It wore Dean down keeping it from him, and when Sam went out for research one night, Dean took the opportunity to lay into the scotch and try to drown the memories of Sam walking out when he'd been working so hard to keep everyone together and happy.
Now, he needed to keep Sam happy and let him believe that yes, Dean Winchester had dreams of going to college, of quitting hunting to be a family man. Fuck, Sam was always the family man, always stuck with Dean no matter what, until he went and fucked off for Stanford. Hadn't been much of a brother then...had ignored Dean's shouts to just let him have one more conversation before he decided to leave. Instead just walked off and left Dean to John's wrath of having an uncontrollable son, and another son that did nothing to help his brother learn the skills to stay alive.
---------------
The next morning Dean woke to find himself tucked under the covers and a giant glass of water next to his motel bed. Sam was sitting on the other bed, and instantly Dean knew he had screwed up with the scotch because he had a habit of talking aloud when he was drunk and half passed out (according to Sam), and the joy around Sam was gone. He looked tired, but more defeated than anything and it hurt physically to see Sam broken down again.
"I'm sorry," Sam whispered.
Dean didn't know what he was apologizing for, because he had no reason to. Dean had fucked up, lied, and failed, and now he'd somehow made Sam feel guilty for / of something.
He'd failed again...
Title: Don't make me tell you the truth
Author: gwendolynd
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: G
Characters: Sam, Dean
Pairing: none
Summary: written for hoodie_time prompt: "Somehow it comes out that Dean really knows a ridiculous amount about distance learning. Sam’s all excited about the idea that Dean had “ambitions,” but it turns out that he’d been looking into it for Sam before he ran away and joined the freshman class at Stanford." ( here)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was the end of a hunt, a follow up that Dean usually insisted on for women he found particularly attractive. Hey, with all the grime and blood he dealt with day to day, he figured he was justified in an extra visit to check up on some eye candy before moving onto the next grueling hunt.
The problem was, that instead of spending the time flirting and soaking up her curves to remember for later, Dean found himself detailing information out to her on how she could continue her studies in business management without necessarily having to leave her daughter under someone else's care too often. Normally he wouldn't care, but considering the big bad of the week happened to have been the primary caregiver at the child care centre she had been sending little Tommy. Naturally, she'd be reluctant to have anyone else watch her child after the last person she trusted had been slowly drinking the bone marrow of children once they hit the ripe age of two.
Dean had thought nothing of giving her the advice, until his ever so observant little brother kept glancing at him out of the corner of his eye with a mild smirk. He knew asking what was up would earn him a likely lengthy conversation, so he did his best to ignore it. Sometimes Sammy's little fixations disappeared after a state line or two, if he waited him out long enough, he'd forget, if only temporarily.
It was six states later and Dean couldn't stand avoiding the quirk of his brother's mouth in the mirror anymore. One of those times that you try your best to ignore it, but the more you try, the more obvious it becomes.
"Well spit it out already!" he practically snapped.
Sam grinned, "You had plans."
Plans? What the hell did that mean? "Yeah Sammy, I had plans. Find the SOB, salt and burn it. That's usually our plan..."
Sam shook his head, swatting Dean's hand away from the radio knobs--his usual defense for avoiding conversations. "No, not for the hunt Dean, for you. You had plans. I heard you talking to Jenna, telling her what she could do."
"You've lost me," Dean lied. He had an idea of what Sam meant, and what it would mean to Sam, and it was wrong. All wrong, and he wasn't sure he could explain that, not with that beaming look on his jerky little brother's face. He smacked Sam's hand and turned the radio up.
Sam kept grinning and sat back, smug looking, but he'd dropped it. For now.
-----------------
Dean had hopes that it had been the end of it, that brief non-conversation along the road at night. Hopes that Sam wouldn't pry deeper. Keep his delusion, stop him from getting hurt again.
Sam left it alone for exactly fourteen hours and twenty eight minutes.
"Drop it, Sammy," Dean warned, hoping to escape conversation again.
"Oh, come on Dean! Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped you apply to some schools and--"
Dean shut his mouth and half grunted, his hands tightening on the wheel as they flew down the highway.
---------------
It was another hour before Sam burst into it again. "Dean, I'm serious, this is huge. I can't believe you never told me!"
The light in his eyes killed Dean. He knew Sam wasn't angry, that he was genuinely excited at the thought of Dean getting out of hunting. It was what Sam had always wanted and insisted could happen...and of course it could happen if Dean wanted it too. Dean knew Sam too well to think anything else was going on here. Sam suddenly had info given to him that opened a door down the tunnel this life pushed you into. With that light, with Dean, Sam was grasping onto a way out. He'd been looking for a while. Dean could almost see the dream of a clean and pristine kitchen and wobbling toddler in the front yard reflecting in Sam's eyes.
"What did you find out about schooling? I only caught a portion of what you told Jenna."
He could deal with that, it wasn't a direct question, so he could deploy appropriate answers. He tried of make the least amount of a deal about it, so he shrugged. "Some universities offer distance programs where you complete a course or two at a time, in your own time, to work towards your diploma or certificate. Generally they send books to you, but you can request the list and get the from local libraries usually."
Dean wanted to pet her steering wheel and kiss it as the Impala's fuel light flashed empty just as they approached a town, so he was able to cut the conversation short.
-----------
It took more than Dean thought it would to get Sam to lay off. He kept on, weeks later. It was killing him and he wanted to shout at his to shut up already, but he knew the hurt look that would cross Sam's face if he did. But he also knew the look that he would get if Dean explained that he hadn't been looking into school for himself. No, Sam was too excited at pondering what Dean would have looked into studying. The worst was that Dean could see what Sam saw. He knew that Sam was imagining them studying together, even if Sam didn't need to know whatever it was. He knew Sam was seeing Dean running up those tacky stage steps in a ridiculous dress and hat to claim some paper that would give him the opportunities to do so much more than hunt. To get paid. He knew Sam was seeing it as Dean getting out of the life, and himself following shortly after.
He knew because he'd dreamed all those things for Sammy before he'd run away to go to Stanford. He knew Dad and Sam fought about it all the time, that Sam wanted to know more. He always had a mind like that, always searching for new information to store away in his brain library. He knew Dad wouldn't let Sam go to school any longer than he needed to for a hunt, that Dad prioritized hunting above everything else. So Dean had planned and figured a way for Sam to study what he wanted while they traveled. Distance programs were wondrous things. Libraries had most books, and tests were online, or proctored by an official--and Sam could charm anyone into watching him take a test.
What Dean hadn't counted on, was Sam getting so pissed that he would actually take off on his own, run away to school of all things.
----------------
Sam wasn't on his case as much anymore, but there was a definite air around him that hadn't been there before, a cheeriness. It wore Dean down keeping it from him, and when Sam went out for research one night, Dean took the opportunity to lay into the scotch and try to drown the memories of Sam walking out when he'd been working so hard to keep everyone together and happy.
Now, he needed to keep Sam happy and let him believe that yes, Dean Winchester had dreams of going to college, of quitting hunting to be a family man. Fuck, Sam was always the family man, always stuck with Dean no matter what, until he went and fucked off for Stanford. Hadn't been much of a brother then...had ignored Dean's shouts to just let him have one more conversation before he decided to leave. Instead just walked off and left Dean to John's wrath of having an uncontrollable son, and another son that did nothing to help his brother learn the skills to stay alive.
---------------
The next morning Dean woke to find himself tucked under the covers and a giant glass of water next to his motel bed. Sam was sitting on the other bed, and instantly Dean knew he had screwed up with the scotch because he had a habit of talking aloud when he was drunk and half passed out (according to Sam), and the joy around Sam was gone. He looked tired, but more defeated than anything and it hurt physically to see Sam broken down again.
"I'm sorry," Sam whispered.
Dean didn't know what he was apologizing for, because he had no reason to. Dean had fucked up, lied, and failed, and now he'd somehow made Sam feel guilty for / of something.
He'd failed again...