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Today was the "Authors Tea" at Nic's school. All the children had written books and this was a chance for them to stand up in front of a mic and read them to us. One of the boys in his class wrote his book about money (which I thought was kind if funny). Nic's was about Dinosaurs (of course). He got up to the mic, smiled, read his book, showed
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That was a crappy thing he did. I have to agree with Darken that he is very selfish. It sucks that people are so messy. I don't understand why people are so shitty.
I have seen some of my friends go through the same thing you are going through. The kids worshipped the dad--the fun guy. But as they got older they really started to see the truth. For instance SVS was the winning parent after his divorce. He did everything for his children--it was their mom who shut down and just wasn't available for the kids. She could be fun mommy when it was her turn with them, but didn't go to the school stuff; didn't invest in her children at all. But the kids loved her, because SVS was the parent, you know the one always there; the one that put his foot down; etc.
His children are in their 20's now. SVS still lives one block away from his ex (who remarried). The kids still have bedrooms in each parent's home. They choose to spend time with their father. His son comes home from college and lives with dad and rarely sees his mom. Cara now lives on her own, but it was her father that she spends time with--even at her graduation she wanted a private breakfast with him, not her mother. They now understand the dynamics of what their father gave to them and how selfish their mother really is.
I know that doesn't help you right now--but I want you to know that kids are very very smart and get smarter. You are simply making an investment in your children and it will pay off, not next week or the following year--but long term; and isn't that what it is about?
I also have friends whose childrens are now in their teens and see what losers their fathers are.
I am really sorry about all of this. We both know what it is like to be married to sucky people. But we both got out in time. I am just sorry that your children are suffering because of their father. I have said time and again, I am so happy that I don't have children, because I don't know how I could raise them with the man I was married too. You on the other hand, are doing an awesome job!!! Don't forget that. And your children know, on some deep level, what the true deal is.
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