You've got to ask yourself... do you feel lucky?
I went to the bank this afternoon to sign documents with the asshole who has been plaguing me for the past several weeks with malicious little mindgames and nonsensical imperious requests. I've pegged him as a petty sadist who enjoys having the screws on people and decided I was going to give him as little headspace as possible. It's not my job to treat his pathology, I just had to get through an unpleasant hour as painlessly as possible. I brought a peace offering of some fresh fruit and wore my finest gentlelady expression the entire time. But I forgot my driver's license. This makes sense because I never drive anywhere and I mainly use my driver's license in case I get a new teller at a bank when I'm cashing a check, so it was in the library book bag I had carried the last time I went out to run errands - going to the library, the post office and the bank. I don't carry a purse, I carry a canvas bag for those trips. And that's where my driver's license was. But because 9.5 years ago terrorists hijacked planes, I now require a driver's license to get a mortgage from the credit union where I've been a member for 25 years. Which I did not have with me. Because I had just walked a deposit to the bank a few hours earlier and forgot to move my driver's license. All this got explained to the mortgage officer as I rooted around looking for my driver's license.Ah, but do you know what I *did* have with me? I had with me my concealed weapons permit. I tried to offer this to the guy, explaining that, while the driver's license is issued by disinterested DMV workers, this is arguably a better form of identification because it is a license issued directly by the chief of police in our stringent "may issue" state that allows me the unusual privilege of carrying a concealed weapon. This startled the guy and I quickly explained that it's because I routinely walk large cash deposits to the bank, like I did today. The color washed over his face as it occurred to him that the woman he had been persecuting for weeks was sitting in his office with a concealed weapon. Priceless. By the way, I bought the house today.