Irritable
I awake...yesterday was a hit for me. Blow to me. I took it all too personally. It's more than yesterday...I'm just in a slump. Knew I shouldn't socialize. Knew it. But I felt alone....a little lost.
Everywhere I turned...nothing. What was I looking for? I knew. Not some lost puppy here. I was looking for just one...just one person to smooth my fur. ...cherish.
Instead...I talk to one friend about her boyfriend....their uncertainties. Another about her studio...it's issues...asked me again to take it over. Another about his dad...he recently died. Poor darlin. That one I actually wish I was there to hug. Talk to my kiss king about many things...get insulted instead. No...not fair? He didn't mean it as an insult...but wow...not what I was looking for?
Shouldn't have gone there looking. That one I will admit. Foolish. I know...know this logically..no? He is only sex. And only sex doesn't comfort. Only sex doesn't tell you that you're a good person.
Read and reread an old letter Luscious sent me (My dearest friend). It was a list of things she loves about me....Shameless ego boost...I know. But it helped me sleep.
This morning...bitter. I think...so many people I listen to. So many people I comfort in need. People really don't like it when I am feeling like this. It's abnormal. Not allowed. Even Suzy has told me...I'm not used to being your shoulder...you're always mine. -smile- Shouldn't have gone there either. heh
I'll get over it.
Everywhere I turned...nothing. What was I looking for? I knew. Not some lost puppy here. I was looking for just one...just one person to smooth my fur. ...cherish.
Instead...I talk to one friend about her boyfriend....their uncertainties. Another about her studio...it's issues...asked me again to take it over. Another about his dad...he recently died. Poor darlin. That one I actually wish I was there to hug. Talk to my kiss king about many things...get insulted instead. No...not fair? He didn't mean it as an insult...but wow...not what I was looking for?
Shouldn't have gone there looking. That one I will admit. Foolish. I know...know this logically..no? He is only sex. And only sex doesn't comfort. Only sex doesn't tell you that you're a good person.
Read and reread an old letter Luscious sent me (My dearest friend). It was a list of things she loves about me....Shameless ego boost...I know. But it helped me sleep.
This morning...bitter. I think...so many people I listen to. So many people I comfort in need. People really don't like it when I am feeling like this. It's abnormal. Not allowed. Even Suzy has told me...I'm not used to being your shoulder...you're always mine. -smile- Shouldn't have gone there either. heh
I'll get over it.