B&Q you suck ass sooooo much. Neh.
Tee hee. Had a nap from 7-9pm, now I'm a bit drowsy, and very giggly. Am in desperate need for funny websites to make me laugh, though I do have one to keep me giggling for a bit: The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army
2. My proper military title is "Specialist Schwarz" not "Princess Anastasia".
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."
87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
88. Must not refer to 1st Sgt as “Mom”.
89. Must not refer to the Commander as “Dad”.
90. Inflatable sheep do *not* need to be displayed during a room inspection.
91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad. (AAAAAAH, EDDIE IZZARD! JIHAD!!)
129. The Microsoft ® “Dancing Paperclip” is not authorized to countermand any orders.
130. “I’m drunk” is a bad answer to any question posed by my commander.
147. I should not threaten suicide with pop rocks and Coke ®. (tee hee)
Oook that's enough. More funnies now.
Quick Sunday Roundup:
Number of times asked "where can I return this" while stood NEXT to returns desk, with 10x3 foot sign saying "RETURNS": 4
Number of customers defying my orders: 10+
Extra minutes taken for lunch break: 15
Amount of money STOLEN by coke machine: 50p *sob hysterically*
That's about it really. A woman came up to me with a child in a trolley and asked "can I leave this here while I go and get some plants?"
Guh.
2. My proper military title is "Specialist Schwarz" not "Princess Anastasia".
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."
87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
88. Must not refer to 1st Sgt as “Mom”.
89. Must not refer to the Commander as “Dad”.
90. Inflatable sheep do *not* need to be displayed during a room inspection.
91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad. (AAAAAAH, EDDIE IZZARD! JIHAD!!)
129. The Microsoft ® “Dancing Paperclip” is not authorized to countermand any orders.
130. “I’m drunk” is a bad answer to any question posed by my commander.
147. I should not threaten suicide with pop rocks and Coke ®. (tee hee)
Oook that's enough. More funnies now.
Quick Sunday Roundup:
Number of times asked "where can I return this" while stood NEXT to returns desk, with 10x3 foot sign saying "RETURNS": 4
Number of customers defying my orders: 10+
Extra minutes taken for lunch break: 15
Amount of money STOLEN by coke machine: 50p *sob hysterically*
That's about it really. A woman came up to me with a child in a trolley and asked "can I leave this here while I go and get some plants?"
Guh.