rewind
kyumin, haemin
pg? (excessive cursing lol ;-;)
in which kyuhyun proves himself wrong
He watches Sungmin from afar, watches how his eyes would twinkle and how it would crinkle up whenever he belted out his infectious laugh (just the kind of music he would put on replay again and again; just the sound he wanted to hear forever), watches his smile shine more than the stars, the sun, and the moon combined together and melt everyone around him.
He watches Sungmin twine his fingers with Donghae and notes how their hands seemed like puzzle pieces that were forcefully fitted unto mismatching ones, and he thinks how their hands would fit much, much better together, and, now, Sungmin's looking up at Donghae and mouths something he wishes he didn't understand because, shit, it hurts like hell, but whatever. It's just a crush and that's all it will be.
-
He's happy for them, as a matter of fact. Sure, he's jealous beyond oblivion and he curses at fate for bringing the two together, but what can he do. He's so, so, so close to both of them and he doesn't want to ruin his friendship with them, but fuck. It might be just a crush, but it's one hell of a crush.
-
It was raining outside, little droplets of water pounding against the window inside the room, mirroring the way his erratic heart was beating too fast, just a little bit too fast for it be his normal heartbeat.
He hadn't meant to eavesdrop on them. He didn't mean to overhear them yelling and shouting how the other was giving too much or too little and how their relationship isn't going to work if his heart isn't completely in it, and just what the fuck happened to their promise on being together forever anyway?
He couldn't hear anymore, as their screaming evaporated into whimpered fuck, I don't want to lose you's and I can't lose you's, muted sobbing, and whispered unheard apologies.
He wouldn't listen anymore, didn't want to listen to them make up and murmur words of love to each other because that would hurt too much, even though what he has for him is still just a crush, so he leaves his room and goes up to the rooftop, where the rain is still pouring and the sun is lost behind the clouds (just like how Sungmin's usual bright and genuine smiles are lost behind fake ones, his eyes empty and bare without the flickers of warmth and love behind them); a place where no one can tell whether it was rain or tears that were on his face.
He didn't know how long he sat there, his back against the sturdy railings with his head tilted down, eyes boring holes in the floor, when a pair of worn-out sneakers came into his peripheral vision.
He would've spoken and asked the person who they were, a snippy what the fuck do you want on the edge of his tongue, but the sudden butterflies in his stomach cut off his oxygen, disabling him from speaking, blinking, moving, and think, think, thinking of what he should do and he's going to do. Fucking butterflies. Always, always, always there whenever he's there; it's a constant presence every time he's near him.
Sungmin squats down in front of him, his face contorted in worry, his face full of concern for him, him and only him, and he thinks he could die of happiness now, and he was sure he was dead when he felt his hyung's hand on his forehead, his skin just so, so soft. Sure, they've touched countless of times before, ranging from suffocating hugs to playful shoves and slaps, but this one is full of affection and fucking love, and he couldn't help but think that it was a touch of an angel.
Suddenly, Sungmin smacks his head hard, lecturing him for staying out in the rain and letting himself get sick, and who the hell does he think he is, fucking superman, and then he couldn't help it, his laugh just suddenly exploding out of him. Maybe it was because of the touch, or the funny face the other was making, or maybe because of everything that's been happening has made him lost his mind, whatever, it doesn't matter because, now, he's laughing with him, and he can't help but think that his laugh is back and the twinkles in his eyes are back and he's finally back, and it becomes one of those moments where he just wants to take a camera and capture this perfect kodak moment so he can keep this memory of them forever.
Sungmin sits down beside him, his head falling down on his awaiting shoulder, and asks him if he really is okay 'cause, apparently, his forehead's burning up. He watches Sungmin bring up his hand to his forehead again, repeating the same action he did earlier, but, this time, his fingers stay a little bit longer and becomes a little bit more caring and tender, and he couldn't help but melt just a little bit more.
"Are you okay?" He fires the question back at his hyung, both of them knowing what he was talking about 'cause that's just how close they are. Sungmin shrugs his shoulders and mumbles something about kicking his ass for listening to their private conversation, his face facing away from him.
"Hey! You didn't answer my question!"
And now Sungmin slaps his arm because it's too cold out here and he doesn't want to get sick, too, so he stands up and starts walking toward the door. He quickly jumps up and grabs Sungmin's hand with one hand and his face with the other, not wanting him to get away. He asks him one more time, his fingers gently caressing Sungmin's face, and he couldn't help but gasp when he felt how warm the liquid that was on his hyung's face were, and it was just too, too, too fucking warm to be the rain, and he thinks his heart breaks just a little bit more when Sungmin clutches his hand tightly and whispers a weak I'll be fine.
-
Somewhere along lingering touches and gazes, the lines between friendship and relationship becomes a blur, and he doesn't know what the fuck to do because what he has for him is definitely more than just a fucking crush and he thinks he wouldn't be able to handle it if he loses him.
-
They weren't officially together yet, but they were practically married, so when, one day, he finds Sungmin in Donghae's arms, he couldn't help but see red, couldn't help but feel hurt, jealous, angry, and just a clusterfuck of nasty emotions he thought were a bad mix because he might do something stupid if they didn't break up their little hugging session soon.
Agitated, he leaves, making sure he slams the door on the way out, and goes up to the rooftop, a sense of déjà vu flashing through his whole body when little droplets of water started trickling down his face. A bitter laugh comes out of his lips when he hears the door to the rooftop open, and what do you know, the butterflies are back, but, this time, it didn't stop him from lashing out a go the fuck away at him. Instead of doing that, Sungmin closes the short distance between them and crashes onto him, I won't, I can't, I can't falling from his lips, and he couldn't help but ask why the fuck not, and when the other one answers him, his breath is gone and he was sure he was going to faint because he hears Sungmin choke out brokenly how I can't leave you alone, Kyu, because I'll always, always want to go back to you, just you, and I won't be able to do that if you keep running away, and when tears trail down his face, he was sure it wasn't the rain because it was shining out his happiness and his neverending love for this damn person. He releases the breath he has been holding because finally, fucking finally.
urhguahrifr yea idk either