(no subject)
Man, its crazy. How one minute someone's you're like best friend/ biggest fan when they need something, and then when you turn around to see if they have your back they're nowhere to be found. heh, I feel like I'm still in middle school. Speaking of school i don't even know what I'm gonna do. I know I should go back, and I want to, but it's like i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, I hate my job...scratch that, I hate the management, and just wanna walk out. My dad's supportive about, b/c I could walk tomorrow and all my bills would be fine, and I could go work for him and go to school full-time. On the other hand, if I stop working where I am now, I feel like they'll have even more control of me. Which now brings me to the hard spot. 3 days out of the week this place is fine, the other 4 its just like...man. So I don't want to be kicking myself if I leave my job and then get stuck here. I just...don't know what to do. I see myself losing it no matter which direction I go. It's like letting a man on death row choose if he wants the chair or lethal injection. Anywho....w/e. I just needed to get this off my chest b/c I'm getting to "that point", and figured typing stuff out was worth a try. I mean, I have some of the best friends anyone could ask for...that I def. don't deserve. And I know they're always there to listen but I don't wanna be that "whining friend" that always has something wrong with them, and is always complaining. Esp. since my emotions are like a rollercoaster. It's like one minute I'm fine and the next I feel like scum, and there's no real way to explain that to someone and make them understand when you don't even understand yourself. idk, I just feel like sometimes I'm just...here, I don't really exist...I'm just...here. Well, I'm gonna go search youtube for something to make me laugh.
yeah....
yeah....