Spring 2007

[guylian]

When I forget to take my antidepressants for a few days, I start having longer, albeit bad, dreams again. In today's example, I dreamt I got so drunk at a party of my own that I forgot everything that had happened, and the next day I went around asking the guests what the hell went on. Quite impressively, I'd blacked out within 40 minutes of

Comments

[guylian]

During a practice pitch to a small group in a class when I was 23-24? I broke into tears, not because of the (barely there) helpful criticism, but because of the focus on me - dad had walked out on us (again) a few night's previous and I felt rather raw. My class teacher took me aside and suggested I see one of the free RMIT councellors, but one session of that was enough. I knew why I felt like I did, I knew why I was drinking so much (I realised I could hang out at the pub with L/L and bitters instead and kill the same time) and I knew what would fix it - moving out. Councellor looked at me like 'so why the fuck are you here?' and she was so busy with other people I felt guilty about wasting her time (I'm still crap with councellors for the same reasons).

Finishing up my course, and knowing that Centerlink would put me straight onto Work For The Dole again as soon as I finished, I rang up my local doctors and asked to get an appointment with some older, female doctor (so as not to get that silly bitch again and so's not to get a bloke). I wouldn't tell the receptionist why (none of your business!) so they assumed I wanted a gyno and booked me with their best! Luckily, she was experienced with depression and had similar patients already. Listening to the same story I'd told the councellor (this is what, this is why etc) she officially diagnosed me with Depression (as I'd assumed) and Anxiety (which was new to me) and gave me a prescription for Zoloft.

(cont next post)