(no subject)
why can't I settle for once.
Is it because I'm ill. Am I sick, are my hormones so disturbed,
that I can't understand what people are telling me.
I don't know what this disease is. But it leaves me with feelings of responsibilty towards someone who has none for me.
I can't even comprehend her. I don't understand her looks, her expressions, her subtle hints, that underlying feeling that I make HER sick, contrary to what she says. And even though it is this that makes ME sick, I am still strangely pulled into our little whirlpool. Our little spin of awkward conversation, a blackhole of questions.
but then it isn't the mystery that allures us, more the frustration.
so I just drop everything and I have to binge. Everytime.
and then when I do need to run for a while, it's her who's left me broken.
A mix of emotions, from being on my feet,
but being on my feet is the only time I'm free.