Sep 07, 2004 02:19
hi friend,
whoa, is it just me or did this summer suck total monkey shit?
so okay, i have solved the mystery i have been trying to unravel for the past two summers. i have come to the conclusion that hockey player is skitzophrenic. tonight as i settled into katie's tv room eating a bag of the best chips ever, aka doritos 3d nacho flavor, i received a wild call from the aformentioned boy. oh, a bit of background information: summer fling and i have been fighting for a week now over whether we are in love or not, stupid? definitely. moving on, the telephone exchange consisted of his drunken begs to come take care of him. well, call me mother fucking theresa because i went to soothe his inbriated troubles. cue the violins because i have never been a part of a more pathetic scene. the entire powow i cried as hockey boy wimpered "i don't know why i do this, i love you" over and over again like an injured animal. what a crock of crap! this bitchmutha needs to figure out what he wants out of our relationship before i freak out and set off a fire cracker from under his bed.
shhhya, wuteva man.
has anybody noticed that slutty girls everywhere are quoting the song "white houses" on their profiles. it is their anthem. especially the verse which goes "my first time, hard to explain, rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain." but duh, all of my friends and i totally had to put "beer through the nose on an inside joke" on our profiles to signify our elite kinship or maybe we just can really relate to beer going through our noses.
speaking of beer, i am really going to miss it. for those who are not familiar with the boarding school lifestyle, it is hard to pull off being drunk when your housemaster is a lunatic who doesn't even like it when people say "crap." the best part of beer is it only gives. beer will never dump you, use you for blowjobs, or beat you up. once my friends and i held a contest as to who could drink the most beers in a 24-hour period and it was pretty cool until i threw up four mcdonalds jr. cheeseburgers. another time i cut my leg open on glass and my friend irrigated the wound with beer, it healed almost upon contact, certainly a medical miracle. bottoms up to beer!
p.s: i am in love with the dopiest boy in the world and i need to read an entire history text book and it is THREE AM and i am leaving tomorrow morning for school and did i mention i am so totally in love and it will never work out because i am going to prison aka school and tonight was kind of blow because windmill ran out of onion rings.
p.p.s: how the fuck does windmill run out of onion rings?