5x02 - Not Cancer
Ridiculously Brilliant Quotes
House 5x02
House
“Put this on Dr. O’Shea, and some chips.”
Dr. O’Shea
“Forget your wallet House?”
House
“Nope.”
Dr. O’Shea
“I’ll cover it.”
[Pays for House’s lunch, and proceeds to a table]
“Are you following me?”
House
“Word is you’re into Monster Trucks.”
[Sits down to join Dr. O’Shea]
Dr. O’Shea
“How many pills did you just take?”
House
“Vicodin, Opioids, B-12, I need a little kick in the afternoon. You got a problem with that?”
[Dr. O’Shea implies he doesn’t have a problem]
“I think I’m falling in love.”
House
“Do you wanna come over and watch Prescription Passion at my place tonight?”
Dr. O’Shea
“You know I’m not gay right?”
House
“Neither am I. If you don’t wanna have sex, that’s cool with me.”
Dr. O’Shea
“I’m not coming over to your home.”
House
“I’ll grow on you.”
Taub
“Cancer made no sense, the head and heart make less then no sense.”
PI [Disguised as a maintenance worker]
“That makes no sense.”
[Everyone turns around in shock]
PI
“What the guy doing manual labor can’t have an opinion? I might be a genius who just happens to have a passion for fixing coffee machines. I mean, I’m obviously not, but it’s rude to make assumptions about people.”
(FUCK. I LOVE PI. lol)
PI
“He was in Madrid, The Bahamas.”
Kutner
“Credit card receipts showed no--”
PI
“-Girl friend paid.”
Kutner
“There is no girlfriend.”
PI
“She’s his high-school-sweetheart.”
Kutner
“High-school-sweetheart married his best friend.”
PI
“I know. Shhhh.”
House [o Foreman]
“Say it.”
Foreman [sighs]
“You were right.”
House
“God, that was petty of me.”
House
“Did you get the consent?”
Taub
“No.”
House
“Tell Foreman to get it. Old people are scared of Black people.”
[Child bangs on Ice Cream Truck door]
“I want some ice cream!”
PI
“NOT UNTILL YOU LEARN TO READ!”
PI
“There are two types of people that hire me. No, actually there are three types of people, but the third type is irrelevant to the point I wanna make.”
House
“Do you have a special rate plan for being a pain in the ass?”
PI
“One type wants to find out that they’re right. One type wants to find out that they’re wrong.”
House
“Which type am I?”
PI
“You’re the third type.”
House
“You lead with the irrelevant types?”
PI
“Your type doesn’t care if they’re right or wrong ‘cause they’ve hired me to investigate the wrong person.”
PI
“There are only two things you ignore. Things that aren’t important and things you wish weren’t important.”
House
“Friends allow you to not sit in a room by yourself. Are you charging me for this?”
PI
“Are we friends?”
House
“No.”
PI
“Then, yes.”
House
“Do you wanna be my friend?”
PI
“No, you scare me a little.”
Cuddy [to House]
“Why does it cost $2300.00 to fix a coffee machine?”
House
“How do I look?”
POTW
“You look sad.”
--THE END--
And just a little fact… the word “cancer” was said a total of 55 times in this episode.