What Annoys Me About Christmas
Christmas is exactly a week away. I have to admit that I love this season, the lights, the songs, the joy of wrapping things and sneaking them under the tree, you know. However, there are things that annoy the hell out of me and I really want to share because it's been bugging me for quite a while.
1. Houses that have Professionally Done Christmas lights.
These are not the houses that have all of the really cool, synchronized lights. No, these are the houses you typically see in the nicer neighborhoods that have the lights on the roofline that look incredibly perfect. Last night, Mike and I drove through interlochen, which is a neighborhood that prides itself on Christmas light displays. It was amazing and I thoroughly enjoyed it. There was maybe one house that had the professional lights, but other than that, the rest of them looked like they had been done by the homeowners. There's something about the campiness that comes with self-done Christmas lights that just makes the holiday season so much better. It shows hard work and determination that the professional lights just don't have. It's kind of like this. Let's say you get two scarves for Christmas. The first one is absolutely perfect, even stitching, really cool patterns, just a beautiful scarf in general. Then you open the second one that was hand knit just for you by a friend. This one is also beautiful, but when you look closer, it appears that the yarn got tangled, a few stitches were dropped here and there, and some of the stitching is uneven. Which one do you appreciate more? The one that's perfect or the one that your friend worked really hard on? It's the same thing with the Christmas lights. Which ones are you going to enjoy more? The perfect ones, or the ones that looked like a lot of effort went into them?
2. Inflatable Christmas Decorations
On the same note, I absolutely hate this new trend of inflatable Christmas decorations. Sure, they're easy to set up, but they look so tacky, and if that's all you have in your yard, it just tells the world that you're lazy. Here's my question. What do friggin' penguins carrying lollipops on a carosel have to do with Jesus being born? Not a thing. At least the lights symbolize the star that the three kings followed. There's one house in Mike's neighborhood whose yard is covered in these things and some days, I just want to cut all of them and just be done with it.
3. Santas that Don't Look Anything like Santa
Over the past few weekends, we've had customers coming to the store to get their pet's picture taken with Santa. Since they were set up right outside of my section of the store, I had the joy of watching a lot of pictures being taken. One weekend, there was a Santa that was about 16, and looked just horrible. The weekend after that, we had a girl dress up as Santa. That just completely boggled my mind. How hard is it to find a jolly old guy? I mean really. There were also kids with a majority of these families. What would you think if Santa started to talk to your dog and the voice was that of a woman? Wouldn't that make you start to question Santa as a whole? So many Christmas dreams could have been ruined by SheSanta. Also, I was at the Parks Mall over the weekend and watched Santa meet with kids there. He was not in the traditional Santa suit, he was in green overalls and his shirt was covered in with pictures of Santa. Wouldn't that make him a little full of himself? I don't wear shirts with pictures of me all over it and neither should Santa. Red coat, red pants, white fur trim with a hat to match, The end.
4. Changing the Words to Christmas Songs*
Since I work a retail job, I get to hear all sorts of Christmas songs all day. This is usually awesome since I like them anyway. However, there is one song that drives me insane. It's some guy's rendition of "We Wish You A Merry Christmas". It's a classic, traditional Christmas song that's about wishing friends a Merry Christmas, and then demanding pudding. The end of the chorus goes like this: "Good Tidings we bring to all of your kin. Good tidings for Christmas and a Happy New Year!" This guys version says "Good Tidings we bring to all of your friends", and then somewhere in the middle it changes to "wherever you are". No! Then it just gets worse. The verse about figgy pudding is now Christmas pudding. No! Wrong! I want my pudding, and I want it to be figgy dammit! If I was singing this song, and someone brought me Christmas pudding, I would demand that figs be in it! I won't accept pudding minus Fig. I understand that times have changed, but the last time I checked, kin is still a word in the English language, and figgy pudding is still in existance. Sing the song right or don't sing it at all.
*this does not refer to parodies of Christmas songs like the Batman Jingle Bells. I love those, they make me happy.
1. Houses that have Professionally Done Christmas lights.
These are not the houses that have all of the really cool, synchronized lights. No, these are the houses you typically see in the nicer neighborhoods that have the lights on the roofline that look incredibly perfect. Last night, Mike and I drove through interlochen, which is a neighborhood that prides itself on Christmas light displays. It was amazing and I thoroughly enjoyed it. There was maybe one house that had the professional lights, but other than that, the rest of them looked like they had been done by the homeowners. There's something about the campiness that comes with self-done Christmas lights that just makes the holiday season so much better. It shows hard work and determination that the professional lights just don't have. It's kind of like this. Let's say you get two scarves for Christmas. The first one is absolutely perfect, even stitching, really cool patterns, just a beautiful scarf in general. Then you open the second one that was hand knit just for you by a friend. This one is also beautiful, but when you look closer, it appears that the yarn got tangled, a few stitches were dropped here and there, and some of the stitching is uneven. Which one do you appreciate more? The one that's perfect or the one that your friend worked really hard on? It's the same thing with the Christmas lights. Which ones are you going to enjoy more? The perfect ones, or the ones that looked like a lot of effort went into them?
2. Inflatable Christmas Decorations
On the same note, I absolutely hate this new trend of inflatable Christmas decorations. Sure, they're easy to set up, but they look so tacky, and if that's all you have in your yard, it just tells the world that you're lazy. Here's my question. What do friggin' penguins carrying lollipops on a carosel have to do with Jesus being born? Not a thing. At least the lights symbolize the star that the three kings followed. There's one house in Mike's neighborhood whose yard is covered in these things and some days, I just want to cut all of them and just be done with it.
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3. Santas that Don't Look Anything like Santa
Over the past few weekends, we've had customers coming to the store to get their pet's picture taken with Santa. Since they were set up right outside of my section of the store, I had the joy of watching a lot of pictures being taken. One weekend, there was a Santa that was about 16, and looked just horrible. The weekend after that, we had a girl dress up as Santa. That just completely boggled my mind. How hard is it to find a jolly old guy? I mean really. There were also kids with a majority of these families. What would you think if Santa started to talk to your dog and the voice was that of a woman? Wouldn't that make you start to question Santa as a whole? So many Christmas dreams could have been ruined by SheSanta. Also, I was at the Parks Mall over the weekend and watched Santa meet with kids there. He was not in the traditional Santa suit, he was in green overalls and his shirt was covered in with pictures of Santa. Wouldn't that make him a little full of himself? I don't wear shirts with pictures of me all over it and neither should Santa. Red coat, red pants, white fur trim with a hat to match, The end.
4. Changing the Words to Christmas Songs*
Since I work a retail job, I get to hear all sorts of Christmas songs all day. This is usually awesome since I like them anyway. However, there is one song that drives me insane. It's some guy's rendition of "We Wish You A Merry Christmas". It's a classic, traditional Christmas song that's about wishing friends a Merry Christmas, and then demanding pudding. The end of the chorus goes like this: "Good Tidings we bring to all of your kin. Good tidings for Christmas and a Happy New Year!" This guys version says "Good Tidings we bring to all of your friends", and then somewhere in the middle it changes to "wherever you are". No! Then it just gets worse. The verse about figgy pudding is now Christmas pudding. No! Wrong! I want my pudding, and I want it to be figgy dammit! If I was singing this song, and someone brought me Christmas pudding, I would demand that figs be in it! I won't accept pudding minus Fig. I understand that times have changed, but the last time I checked, kin is still a word in the English language, and figgy pudding is still in existance. Sing the song right or don't sing it at all.
*this does not refer to parodies of Christmas songs like the Batman Jingle Bells. I love those, they make me happy.