things that have happened, that you may find amusing
Well, I'm in a pretty shitty place, but let's not dwell on that. Let's dwell on the bizarre things that have happened recently.
This past weekend, Ben and Steve-o came down to Space-Decatur and hung out with Chris and I. We drank a bit and played lots of Soul Caliber 3. Ridiculous amounts. That was Sunday night. On Monday, we played it sober, saw Doomsday, and then played some more SC3. The weather was awesome, so we opened the windows and left the door open. Then, out of nowhere, a small child wandered in. He was probably like 4-6 or so. He just walked in and was staring at the TV. Didn't say anything. Just stood there. And he was holding this tiny, dilapidated-ass basketball. The four of us were just sorta looking at each other and giggling. After a couple of awkward minutes, I told the kid his mother was calling him, so he went outside, and I closed the door behind him. A few minutes later he came back, and started looking in the windows. Eventually his mother came and got him. So we opened the door again. But, sure enough, the kid came back. I saw him coming, since I could see his house from where I was sitting, so I shut him out. Naturally, he loitered in our yard. Finally his mother came and brought him back to his house. But then the kid shoved her, and swung at her, so she grabbed his arm and they were like wrestling, which was a bit odd. Anyway, the kid and his mother go back inside, so we open the door again. WE get bored of SC, so we turn off the ps2 and watch some tv. And suddenly the kid was just standing there again, in our living room, for some reason. So he's like, "Why aren't you playing anymore?" because that's totally a normal thing to say when you walk into someone's house uninvited. He looks around, and starts walking like he's gonna go check out the rest of the house, so we stop him and tell him to leave. I'm like, "Hey, this isn't your house," to which he replies, "I know," so I say, "Then why are you here?" He ignores that one. Eventually we get him to leave, and close the door behind him. Which, of course, doesn't deter him. He walks in a few minutes later. As in he physically opened our closed door and walks in. He asks Chris to play basketball with him, and throws his sad ball at Chris. Chris catches it and says, "You should play outside," and throws the ball outside. The kid, being stupid, follows the ball. We close the door behind him and then lock it. Then we watched the Rifftrax for the Matrix: Reloaded. Weird stuff.
The other day I was at work and this guy asked if I was Canadian, because he said I have a Canadian accent, so I said, "Eh? What are you talking aboot?" and then hit him in the face with a hockey stick.
I was at Casey's house the other day. I parked in front of his house, on the street. We're (myself, Casey, and Chase) standing in his kitchen and I see this minivan pull up next to TAURUS, for some reason. And it's just sitting there. Casey and Chase are trying to figure out if it's someone they know, but it isn't. Still, the car is just sitting there. Eventually it pulls up a little bit, then backs up, and then finally backs up and parks behind my car. So it went through this weird parallel parking thing when it could've just, you know, pulled up and parked behind me, normal type. By this time, we go out to the porch to see what the fuck's going on. So the minivan pulls up again, next to my car, and two people get out, a passenger and driver, and they switch places. So they go through the parallel parking thing again. So, apparently, this dude thought it was a good idea to teach his dumbshit kid how to parallel park using some random person's car, at night. I mean, who the fuck does that? You couldn't like have, I dunno, used a garbage can or one another car that he has access to? Nope, just some random car off the street, without asking. Yup, that seems rational. So I walk down there, get in my car, and park it in the driveway. The person drives away and either waves or flips us the bird, it was too dark to tell. But seriously, what the fuck? I wish I had gone and knocked on their window and been like, "Excuse me, but, uh, um, what the fuck are you doing?"
Let me end this on a classy note: I had to go to the bank the other day and argue about some bullshit combo-overdraft fees. The bank, Of America, was, shockingly, a dick. After arguing for a few minutes, to no avail, I stood up, told the bank guy to fuck off, and to fuck his bank, and then I stormed out. Like I said: classy. But I was pissed. On the way out, turning back onto the main road, this bus was turning left, but it took the turn too wide, so it couldn't fit, so I had to back up. Mind you, I was well behind the stop line, so he was totally at fault. Normally this wouldn't bother me that much, but I was pretty wickedly pissed, so I pulled off the rare, and oh so satisfying, double flick-off. You know, when you flip someone off with both hands at the same time. Awesome. And it never really gets to come up, seriously. So I'm doing that, and then when the bus was next to me, I rolled down my window and shouted, "Learn to fucking drive," to which the driver replied, "Go to Hell!" Let me reiterate: classy. Now I'm kind of embarrassed by it, but, you know, these things happen. So I wonder how awkward it will be if I go to that bank again? It's the one closest to my work, so I go there somewhat regularly. Oh well.
That's that. I work tomorrow, to close, and then I have Sunday and Monday off. Oh yeah, Borders may or may not be going out of business. Which is, you know, good news and totally awesome. But get this: they have $65 million in cash, but, ok, seriously, check this shit: $785 million in debt. Yikes! Here's what I think happened: In the future, I have access a time machine, so I travel back in time and found Borders, and then using my wicked money skills, run the country into the ground. Also I'm probably a drunk. In the future/present when I'm running Borders. Not now.
So that's it. Time for bed.
This past weekend, Ben and Steve-o came down to Space-Decatur and hung out with Chris and I. We drank a bit and played lots of Soul Caliber 3. Ridiculous amounts. That was Sunday night. On Monday, we played it sober, saw Doomsday, and then played some more SC3. The weather was awesome, so we opened the windows and left the door open. Then, out of nowhere, a small child wandered in. He was probably like 4-6 or so. He just walked in and was staring at the TV. Didn't say anything. Just stood there. And he was holding this tiny, dilapidated-ass basketball. The four of us were just sorta looking at each other and giggling. After a couple of awkward minutes, I told the kid his mother was calling him, so he went outside, and I closed the door behind him. A few minutes later he came back, and started looking in the windows. Eventually his mother came and got him. So we opened the door again. But, sure enough, the kid came back. I saw him coming, since I could see his house from where I was sitting, so I shut him out. Naturally, he loitered in our yard. Finally his mother came and brought him back to his house. But then the kid shoved her, and swung at her, so she grabbed his arm and they were like wrestling, which was a bit odd. Anyway, the kid and his mother go back inside, so we open the door again. WE get bored of SC, so we turn off the ps2 and watch some tv. And suddenly the kid was just standing there again, in our living room, for some reason. So he's like, "Why aren't you playing anymore?" because that's totally a normal thing to say when you walk into someone's house uninvited. He looks around, and starts walking like he's gonna go check out the rest of the house, so we stop him and tell him to leave. I'm like, "Hey, this isn't your house," to which he replies, "I know," so I say, "Then why are you here?" He ignores that one. Eventually we get him to leave, and close the door behind him. Which, of course, doesn't deter him. He walks in a few minutes later. As in he physically opened our closed door and walks in. He asks Chris to play basketball with him, and throws his sad ball at Chris. Chris catches it and says, "You should play outside," and throws the ball outside. The kid, being stupid, follows the ball. We close the door behind him and then lock it. Then we watched the Rifftrax for the Matrix: Reloaded. Weird stuff.
The other day I was at work and this guy asked if I was Canadian, because he said I have a Canadian accent, so I said, "Eh? What are you talking aboot?" and then hit him in the face with a hockey stick.
I was at Casey's house the other day. I parked in front of his house, on the street. We're (myself, Casey, and Chase) standing in his kitchen and I see this minivan pull up next to TAURUS, for some reason. And it's just sitting there. Casey and Chase are trying to figure out if it's someone they know, but it isn't. Still, the car is just sitting there. Eventually it pulls up a little bit, then backs up, and then finally backs up and parks behind my car. So it went through this weird parallel parking thing when it could've just, you know, pulled up and parked behind me, normal type. By this time, we go out to the porch to see what the fuck's going on. So the minivan pulls up again, next to my car, and two people get out, a passenger and driver, and they switch places. So they go through the parallel parking thing again. So, apparently, this dude thought it was a good idea to teach his dumbshit kid how to parallel park using some random person's car, at night. I mean, who the fuck does that? You couldn't like have, I dunno, used a garbage can or one another car that he has access to? Nope, just some random car off the street, without asking. Yup, that seems rational. So I walk down there, get in my car, and park it in the driveway. The person drives away and either waves or flips us the bird, it was too dark to tell. But seriously, what the fuck? I wish I had gone and knocked on their window and been like, "Excuse me, but, uh, um, what the fuck are you doing?"
Let me end this on a classy note: I had to go to the bank the other day and argue about some bullshit combo-overdraft fees. The bank, Of America, was, shockingly, a dick. After arguing for a few minutes, to no avail, I stood up, told the bank guy to fuck off, and to fuck his bank, and then I stormed out. Like I said: classy. But I was pissed. On the way out, turning back onto the main road, this bus was turning left, but it took the turn too wide, so it couldn't fit, so I had to back up. Mind you, I was well behind the stop line, so he was totally at fault. Normally this wouldn't bother me that much, but I was pretty wickedly pissed, so I pulled off the rare, and oh so satisfying, double flick-off. You know, when you flip someone off with both hands at the same time. Awesome. And it never really gets to come up, seriously. So I'm doing that, and then when the bus was next to me, I rolled down my window and shouted, "Learn to fucking drive," to which the driver replied, "Go to Hell!" Let me reiterate: classy. Now I'm kind of embarrassed by it, but, you know, these things happen. So I wonder how awkward it will be if I go to that bank again? It's the one closest to my work, so I go there somewhat regularly. Oh well.
That's that. I work tomorrow, to close, and then I have Sunday and Monday off. Oh yeah, Borders may or may not be going out of business. Which is, you know, good news and totally awesome. But get this: they have $65 million in cash, but, ok, seriously, check this shit: $785 million in debt. Yikes! Here's what I think happened: In the future, I have access a time machine, so I travel back in time and found Borders, and then using my wicked money skills, run the country into the ground. Also I'm probably a drunk. In the future/present when I'm running Borders. Not now.
So that's it. Time for bed.