(no subject)
So I talked to my general manager about the promotion and she said that she hadn't posted it, and when she does I need to talk to Amanda and interview with her, for some reason. But only after Kelly talks to the district manager or something and then posts the job. Which really isn't what I wanted to hear. So here's the progress I've made thus far, in a short play:
Scott Seeks Better Employment but Encounters Only Failure and a Robot
Act 1 - in which our protagonist talks to the powers that be; a robot
Scott: Hey Billy, have you hired anyone for Greg's position?
Billy: NO I HAVE NOT
Scott: Might you consider hiring me, then?
Billy: DOES NOT COMPUTE
Scott: Hire me!
Billy: TALK TO KELLY. ERROR!! ERROR!! [vomits sparks and explodes].
Scott: K
Act 2 - in which our protagonist tracks down the powers that be and is again deferred; a shocking revelation
Scott: Kelly! Hire me for Greg's position.
Kelly: I haven't posted it yet.
Scott: What the fuck does that mean? You're the head boss, just fucking post it and hire me.
Kelly: Eat a dick.
Scott: Ouch. I think I'd like to talk to Human Resources, please.
Billy: I AM HUMAN RESOURCES. EAT A DICK! [shoots eye lasers]
Scott: But you're a robot, how the fuck can you be human resources?
Billy: HUMANS ARE RESOURCES. LOL. [shoots missiles from his shoulder-missile pod]
Scott: I see what you did there. Ok, anyway: hire me.
Kelly: Talk to Amanda for some reason.
Scott: K
Act 3 - in which our protagonist parlays with the powers that be and suffers an injury most grave
Scott: Amanda! Interview me for Greg's position so Kelly or Billy or someone can fucking hire me!
Amanda: Fuck you, homo. [shoots me in the knee]
Scott: Ouch! Uncalled for!
Amanda: [shoots me in other knee] Keep talking, nancy-boy, you'll run out of joints before I run out of bullets.
Scott: K.
End
Actually, that's not really how it happened. I never talked to Amanda about the job and she only shot me in the knee once, but that was totally unrelated.
Scott Seeks Better Employment but Encounters Only Failure and a Robot
Act 1 - in which our protagonist talks to the powers that be; a robot
Scott: Hey Billy, have you hired anyone for Greg's position?
Billy: NO I HAVE NOT
Scott: Might you consider hiring me, then?
Billy: DOES NOT COMPUTE
Scott: Hire me!
Billy: TALK TO KELLY. ERROR!! ERROR!! [vomits sparks and explodes].
Scott: K
Act 2 - in which our protagonist tracks down the powers that be and is again deferred; a shocking revelation
Scott: Kelly! Hire me for Greg's position.
Kelly: I haven't posted it yet.
Scott: What the fuck does that mean? You're the head boss, just fucking post it and hire me.
Kelly: Eat a dick.
Scott: Ouch. I think I'd like to talk to Human Resources, please.
Billy: I AM HUMAN RESOURCES. EAT A DICK! [shoots eye lasers]
Scott: But you're a robot, how the fuck can you be human resources?
Billy: HUMANS ARE RESOURCES. LOL. [shoots missiles from his shoulder-missile pod]
Scott: I see what you did there. Ok, anyway: hire me.
Kelly: Talk to Amanda for some reason.
Scott: K
Act 3 - in which our protagonist parlays with the powers that be and suffers an injury most grave
Scott: Amanda! Interview me for Greg's position so Kelly or Billy or someone can fucking hire me!
Amanda: Fuck you, homo. [shoots me in the knee]
Scott: Ouch! Uncalled for!
Amanda: [shoots me in other knee] Keep talking, nancy-boy, you'll run out of joints before I run out of bullets.
Scott: K.
End
Actually, that's not really how it happened. I never talked to Amanda about the job and she only shot me in the knee once, but that was totally unrelated.