2008: terminating sobriety
As always, New Years is the best party of the year. It was pretty low key, as far as things go, and I think that's the way to go.
Here are the highlights:
I started the night off positively by offending two people to the point that they left without telling anyone. They were two boring ass lame-os anyway, so fuck 'em. What happened was that David and I were talking, and I said, "I fucking hate when people are ardent atheists their whole lives and then find God on their deathbed." to which he retorted, "Well let's see what you say when you're 80," to which I classily replied, "My last words will be, 'Hey, God, why don't you get off your cloud and suck my dick?' or 'Jesus, how about you come down here so I can stigmata-fuck the shit out of your hands? Yeah, a nice stigmata-handjob, fuck face.'" Apparently some people might take that as offensive, I mean, whatever.
Eventually it was time to go onto the roof for the peach drop, or whatever. In the elevator I shouted a bunch of shit at the douche-bags who couldn't fit in. I mean, fuck those guys. Also, I met the Hamburglar and he burgled my burgers, which was total bullshit but kind of awesome. But anyway, I had to pee really bad, so as soon as it was the new year, I set off to find someplace to void my bladder. My first instinct was to pee in the corner off the roof, but there were like 4 million people on the roof, so that didn't work. So I took the stairs, went down a few floors and peed in a corner of the stairwell. And then I heard people so I went down more, into some lobby thing, and tried peeing in a corner under the stairway, but then MORE people came, and I was still full of urine. So I went out some door, peed in an alley, and then found out, naturally, that the door was locked. So I called DK and he came to look for me. Eventually I found an unlocked door, which lead into someone's apartment. I didn't see anyone in there, so I just walked through. I had to unlock their front door, so someone probably robbed the shit out their place. Well, fuck'em for not locking their back door that leads to the sketchy-ass alley. David and I met back up and made it back to the party-proper.
As far as I can remember, that was the bulk of the ridiculous shit. Of course, I'm anxiously awaiting for Facebook pictures to fill in my gaps in memory. All in all: awesome party.
And for shits/giggles here are some new years resolutions:
1. Read Gravity's Rainbow
2. WRITE!
3. Break a girl's heart.
That is all. Happy New Years, you dumb mother-fuckers.
Here are the highlights:
I started the night off positively by offending two people to the point that they left without telling anyone. They were two boring ass lame-os anyway, so fuck 'em. What happened was that David and I were talking, and I said, "I fucking hate when people are ardent atheists their whole lives and then find God on their deathbed." to which he retorted, "Well let's see what you say when you're 80," to which I classily replied, "My last words will be, 'Hey, God, why don't you get off your cloud and suck my dick?' or 'Jesus, how about you come down here so I can stigmata-fuck the shit out of your hands? Yeah, a nice stigmata-handjob, fuck face.'" Apparently some people might take that as offensive, I mean, whatever.
Eventually it was time to go onto the roof for the peach drop, or whatever. In the elevator I shouted a bunch of shit at the douche-bags who couldn't fit in. I mean, fuck those guys. Also, I met the Hamburglar and he burgled my burgers, which was total bullshit but kind of awesome. But anyway, I had to pee really bad, so as soon as it was the new year, I set off to find someplace to void my bladder. My first instinct was to pee in the corner off the roof, but there were like 4 million people on the roof, so that didn't work. So I took the stairs, went down a few floors and peed in a corner of the stairwell. And then I heard people so I went down more, into some lobby thing, and tried peeing in a corner under the stairway, but then MORE people came, and I was still full of urine. So I went out some door, peed in an alley, and then found out, naturally, that the door was locked. So I called DK and he came to look for me. Eventually I found an unlocked door, which lead into someone's apartment. I didn't see anyone in there, so I just walked through. I had to unlock their front door, so someone probably robbed the shit out their place. Well, fuck'em for not locking their back door that leads to the sketchy-ass alley. David and I met back up and made it back to the party-proper.
As far as I can remember, that was the bulk of the ridiculous shit. Of course, I'm anxiously awaiting for Facebook pictures to fill in my gaps in memory. All in all: awesome party.
And for shits/giggles here are some new years resolutions:
1. Read Gravity's Rainbow
2. WRITE!
3. Break a girl's heart.
That is all. Happy New Years, you dumb mother-fuckers.