(no subject)
can't imagine how it could hurt to make a simple phone call its not that hard but you make it out that way. i hope your not lieing to everyone and saying that you don't want to talk to me or see me cause i have wanted tht for some time now. but yet it seemed that i was bending over backwards for a couple months and when i asked something of you it got nowhere almost it were to much of me to ask of you to call or say hi randomly talk and work things out. so for a while now everythings gone downhill. and you've got friendships and people that care about you. and no they can't be my friends anymore. they're so close to you why would they want to have anything to do with me. all i do is cause hurt and pain in everyones life. don't tell me i don't miss or that i don't love you anymore cause i still do. i do love you and i do miss you everyday. every second of every minute. but you wouldn't think that. its positive with you. and you've got everything to look forward to. i've got myself and my broken heart which i did to myself. its hard to trying to mend your broken heart but my own that i shattered myself. thats impossible. i just try to be genuine. thats who i am. yes i do smoke yes i fucked everything that mattered to me up. yea i fell that you were ashamed of me by not letting your parents know that i have tattoos and piercings. its who i am. i'm not about to hide that from anyone. if they can't except me for who i am and what i've done to my body then its not the right place for me to be. i have gotten another tatt and two more pircings since we broke up. maybe its my way of coping with what i've done. your not the only one thats hurt by this. all i've ever done is love you. not once have i ever been me to your face or tried to hurt you intentially. i've always tried to make things better and make you happy. but right now i'm not happy with myself so its that much harder to make someone else happy.