some down time...or something like it
Ok, so this is just about the first peice of collected down time that i've been able to muster up in a while. I've had free time, esp. in the last few days, but oddly not enough conviction to sit down and type on my computer. I don't know, something about sitting down for an extended period of time didn't seem like such a good idea. didn't think i could do it. but now i think i can't. though, i'll be honest, i just a nother cup of coffee, and i'm afraid that there will quite a bit of spelling errors and perhaps even miss words. my brain and inner diolouge are moving at a must faster pace than my hands are at this point. but i can't only imagine how much worse it would be if i was hand writing all of this. hell, if that was the case, i wouldn't even do it. haha.
not too much new on the homefront. though i'm learning a whole lot lately. though not in my math class, and i guess that could be seen as a slight problem. but i'm learning a lot about myself theses days, making one step after antoher, and seeing things about me that i didn't know i did. most of it was a way to protect myself, but in the end, it's not helping. it's not really hurting either, it's just keeping me kind of stationary, and i'm not going anywhere. but i'm slowly moving forward, catching myself doing things that i need to learn how to stop, and it actually feels kind of nice.
this summer, i've been quite strait forward. i'm starting to live up, full force, to my idea of no bull shit, no fuckin around, no games, just blunt, honest, truth. i'm not saying that everything is all of a sudden easy and turned into yes or no, and there isn't any grey in between, but i'm learning to see through the grey, and learning to accept the answers in between yes and no. taking them for what they're worth, and just keeping forward w/ what i want, and letting people tag along for the ride, and also not being so upset when they fall off b/c things turned left when they so obvisouly wanted to go right.
i guess this is also the summer of metaphores and analogies. oh well, you get the idea, right? GOOD.
I still don't like my job. that hasn't changed at all, in fact, not even a little bit. i don't hate it, i just don't like it. and id on't like not liking my job. but last friday, i have an interview at Maggiano's Italian restaraunt at about 930 am, then they had me come back in THAT DAY at around 330, and i'll find out tomorrow if i get the job or not. if i do, then I'm going to tell Ann Taylor Loft that for personal reasons I can no longer work for them, I apologize that i am leaving on such short notice, and i hope that this doesn't hinder the relationship between myself and the corporate offices of ATL.
on a much happier note, and something a lot more fun, last monday was AMAZING. the rain and the company was wonderful. it was one of the most awkward/entertaining/intresting/i don't even have a real word for it night that i have had recently. playing in the rain, me and about 8 or 9 other grown ass ppl, like a bunch of kids. dancing and jumping and screaming. running around, jumping on everyone. and speaking about everyone, there was just a whole lot of hands going a whole lot places they weren't supposed to. if i had a nickle for every time a gay guy grabbed my boob that night, well, i'd have a whole lot of nickels. just hands, and touching, and rain, and music, and people giving us dirty looks, being totally out of movie or some real fun commercial or something. we were kind of amazing, not gonna lie.
on quite the sad note, Liam leaves today. he leaves at 3, well, that's when his plane is supposed to get off the ground. like that EVER happens as it shoult. but he was in town for a good month of so, and i was so happy to see him. I love that kid, hoenstly, a whole hell of a lot. he and i talked, and we came to the conclusion that the kind of friendship we have, it's something amazing. he's the kid that when we're older, and lets say i'm sick, and i'm alone, and i can no longer take care of myself, he told me that he'd take care of me. the way he said it, it was so random, and so out of the blue, that i believe him. that got me thinking too, and i know for a fact that i'd do the same for him. i knew the kid for a week before i went back to school, and we talked almost every day on the phone after that for three weeks before he moved back to australia, where we proceeded to talk at leats once a week for the next year and half. when he came back this time to visit, it was back to the talking and seeing eachother just about every day, and so that makes his going home that much harder. but he'll be back, soon. i know it. so that makes me happy....er.
that seems to be about it. i thought that my belly dancing class was going to be dancing at the AA art fair on saturday, but i think that the more advanced classes are going to be dancing. they only gave her about 40 minutes to work with, so we'll see. i'll keep you all posed if i'm dancing and all the good stuff.
there you have it, my life in a nut shell. PEACE OUT.
not too much new on the homefront. though i'm learning a whole lot lately. though not in my math class, and i guess that could be seen as a slight problem. but i'm learning a lot about myself theses days, making one step after antoher, and seeing things about me that i didn't know i did. most of it was a way to protect myself, but in the end, it's not helping. it's not really hurting either, it's just keeping me kind of stationary, and i'm not going anywhere. but i'm slowly moving forward, catching myself doing things that i need to learn how to stop, and it actually feels kind of nice.
this summer, i've been quite strait forward. i'm starting to live up, full force, to my idea of no bull shit, no fuckin around, no games, just blunt, honest, truth. i'm not saying that everything is all of a sudden easy and turned into yes or no, and there isn't any grey in between, but i'm learning to see through the grey, and learning to accept the answers in between yes and no. taking them for what they're worth, and just keeping forward w/ what i want, and letting people tag along for the ride, and also not being so upset when they fall off b/c things turned left when they so obvisouly wanted to go right.
i guess this is also the summer of metaphores and analogies. oh well, you get the idea, right? GOOD.
I still don't like my job. that hasn't changed at all, in fact, not even a little bit. i don't hate it, i just don't like it. and id on't like not liking my job. but last friday, i have an interview at Maggiano's Italian restaraunt at about 930 am, then they had me come back in THAT DAY at around 330, and i'll find out tomorrow if i get the job or not. if i do, then I'm going to tell Ann Taylor Loft that for personal reasons I can no longer work for them, I apologize that i am leaving on such short notice, and i hope that this doesn't hinder the relationship between myself and the corporate offices of ATL.
on a much happier note, and something a lot more fun, last monday was AMAZING. the rain and the company was wonderful. it was one of the most awkward/entertaining/intresting/i don't even have a real word for it night that i have had recently. playing in the rain, me and about 8 or 9 other grown ass ppl, like a bunch of kids. dancing and jumping and screaming. running around, jumping on everyone. and speaking about everyone, there was just a whole lot of hands going a whole lot places they weren't supposed to. if i had a nickle for every time a gay guy grabbed my boob that night, well, i'd have a whole lot of nickels. just hands, and touching, and rain, and music, and people giving us dirty looks, being totally out of movie or some real fun commercial or something. we were kind of amazing, not gonna lie.
on quite the sad note, Liam leaves today. he leaves at 3, well, that's when his plane is supposed to get off the ground. like that EVER happens as it shoult. but he was in town for a good month of so, and i was so happy to see him. I love that kid, hoenstly, a whole hell of a lot. he and i talked, and we came to the conclusion that the kind of friendship we have, it's something amazing. he's the kid that when we're older, and lets say i'm sick, and i'm alone, and i can no longer take care of myself, he told me that he'd take care of me. the way he said it, it was so random, and so out of the blue, that i believe him. that got me thinking too, and i know for a fact that i'd do the same for him. i knew the kid for a week before i went back to school, and we talked almost every day on the phone after that for three weeks before he moved back to australia, where we proceeded to talk at leats once a week for the next year and half. when he came back this time to visit, it was back to the talking and seeing eachother just about every day, and so that makes his going home that much harder. but he'll be back, soon. i know it. so that makes me happy....er.
that seems to be about it. i thought that my belly dancing class was going to be dancing at the AA art fair on saturday, but i think that the more advanced classes are going to be dancing. they only gave her about 40 minutes to work with, so we'll see. i'll keep you all posed if i'm dancing and all the good stuff.
there you have it, my life in a nut shell. PEACE OUT.