This is just angry writing feel free to skip all of it.
Well Christmas was good and bad. I really didn't want anything this year, nor do I think I will be wanting anything in the future. I've come to a point where the excitement of reciving toys and games has faded so greatly. I buy myself anything I'm wanting, and I don't want for much. I don't need for much thanks to my parents. I really feel they've done an outstanding job. At the same time I'm so upset with Jeff. Maybe it's silly to let it ruin a family tradition but I find it to be completely disrespectful that he didn't show up because he was too busy ...sleeping. I feel it wouldn't be so bad if he didn't do exactly the same thing with Jake's birthday, my mother's birthday, and Thanksgiving this year! He didn't show up for any of that this year! I don't want to invite him to my birthday party! Which by the way I'm planning on renting a hotel suite and getting bombed, anybody want to attend? What exactly is it about your family that you need to hide from? The only thing he has to say for himself is "I don't feel like it" Boo hoo! Cry me a fucking river! My poor grandparents may not even be around for another Christmas! They asked about him all throughout dinner! Well, he's upstairs wrapped in a blanket and doesn't want to come down. I am so very angry right now I want to scream at him, except that I really don't think that will get me what I want. What I want is for him to show respect to my parents for how hard they've worked for his happines that he's squandered in every possible way! Writing this out isn't helping me at all like it used to. Maybe I could use it for stocking tomorrow morning. Fuck! Happy holidays...