Apr 20, 2004 06:20
happy holidays.
missed jenni. so i wrote her a noteborderline love letter. first in a while...im awkward at this point. really clear how fucking isolated i am lately. and since all hope of female relations has practically vanished, im now indulging in the older brother fantasy. desperate. yeah. why. matthew's strange lately. which makes my allready paranoid and anxious self start to freak out-that hes judging me. i feel judged. why. i can be the most experienced and alive person in the room or viceversa-it doesnt matter-everyones always giving me shit. why. breathe in deep let it out slow do you hear go go go. so. todays fun. i guess.