"godamn right is a beautiful day"

[gurlwonder26]

so---aimee's lil dry spell is so last week. yeah. on friday night alex and travor came over--it was so incredibly fun--just like old times. then stuff happened with alex and i that was just plain...wierd i dunno why. then saturday--oh saturday. we were planing to meet up with the montana boys-when they call and ask us to bring them something we thought they had-and we didnt wanna share. so enroute, blake calls jenni and says-'hey come hang out with me and my 2 college friends from cali'. of course we make up a lame ass story to m.boys-and high tail it over to j's, where i met the most BEAUTIFUL BOY ive ever seen. his name was kevin. not only did he live in california, not only was he 24-he played bass in his own punk rock band. he was so immediately all over me-and me and jenni were screaming in the bathroom. I NEVER GET THE HOTT GUY! i mean i get hella cute guys, but not the acctual fox. so anyway it was the biggest self esteem boost ive ever gotten in my life. plus i believe the endorphens realeased from sex smother the inner emo kid for one more day. no job yet. first read thru was tonight tho--hey here comes the dancing queen, cuz thats like a third of my part at least. my dress is kick ass tho. and steve is so adorable--cant wait to get kissed by my prince;)
looks like jenni and blake are gonna pseudo date, or live the aimee dream as i call it.
cant help feeling completely jealous. and that makes me sad-cuz i want that girl to be so happy. i sortof told her this--but it didnt go anywhere-its my fault. i just wish i could say the things i want without feeling like a dumbass.
she's just what ive been looking for. not in a guy or a girl or a friend--just everything-everything ive wanted out of life--she is. and now im totally stuck between doing whats best for her and our friendship, and being incredibly selfish--so i can be happy. it hurts so bad.